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Stephen finds the Dan Brown Plot Generator/Create YOUR Dan Brown Plot Today!
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I knew it! The computer writes his books for him!
It's so obvious when you think about it. I mean, the only thing he really does well is tell a good story. His writing is terrible.
King Dinösaur wrote: "Haha! Literally minutes of fun! :)"KD you're just upset that Batman will beat Spidey's butt
King Dinösaur wrote: "Haha! Literally minutes of fun! :)"Hahahahahaha!!!! Really? Whole MINUTES, KD?
Oh, I had fun with the generator - my favorite (using my favorite city, New Orleans... and Daughters of the American Revolution, an organization for which I'm eligible to join because my grandmother told me so... I've been to meetings with her.): A mysterious cipher whose key is somewhere in New Orleans.
A murderous cult determined to protect it.
A desperate race to uncover the Daughters of the American Revolution's darkest secret.
THE HALLOWED GLYPH
When celebrated Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon is summoned to the French Quarter to analyze a mysterious geometric form—drawn on a calling card next to the disemboweled corpse of the head docent—he discovers evidence of the unthinkable: the resurgence of the ancient cult of the Auxofori, a secret branch of the Daughters of the American Revolution that has surfaced from the shadows to carry out its legendary vendetta against its mortal enemy, the Vatican.
Langdon's worst fears are confirmed when a messenger from the Auxofori appears at the Garden District to deliver a grim ultimatum: Deposit $1 billion in the Daughters of the American Revolution's off-shore bank accounts or the exclusive clothier of the Swiss Guards will be bankrupted. As the city braces for disaster, Langdon joins forces with the nervy and brilliant daughter of the murdered docent in a desperate bid to crack the code that will reveal the cult's secret plan.
Embarking on a frantic hunt, Langdon and his companion follow a 300-year-old trail through New Orleans's most venerable libraries and historic buildings, pursued by a pigeon-toed assassin the cult has sent to thwart them. What they discover threatens to expose a conspiracy that goes all the way back to Susan B. Anthony and the very founding of the Daughters of the American Revolution.
It all sounds so familiar to previous Dan Brown books, it's almost scary huh?
I wonder if there's a James Patterson Book Generator...
Oh, wait, there is. It's called the Army of Miserable Literary Failures Who've Whored Themselves To Write James Patterson's Novels.
(In case you don't know this, the fact that Patterson doesn't really write his novels is one of the worst-kept secrets in the literary world. He comes up with the ideas, and he hires a team of writers to flesh out his stories, and takes credit for his work. This explains why there's a new Patterson novel every 9-12 months.)
Oh, wait, there is. It's called the Army of Miserable Literary Failures Who've Whored Themselves To Write James Patterson's Novels.
(In case you don't know this, the fact that Patterson doesn't really write his novels is one of the worst-kept secrets in the literary world. He comes up with the ideas, and he hires a team of writers to flesh out his stories, and takes credit for his work. This explains why there's a new Patterson novel every 9-12 months.)
Also, his three sentence paragraphs, three page chapters. Gah.
I seriously dislike Dan Brown's writing. I learned this morning on NPR that his newest novel sold 1 million copies on Tuesday alone. You have no idea how much this infuriated me. I resent the fact that someone who has a terrible grasp of writing fundamentals can be responsible for hackneyed novels that sell in the millions.
It's this kind of bitter irony that has often discouraged me from pursuing a career as a writer of novels.
It's this kind of bitter irony that has often discouraged me from pursuing a career as a writer of novels.
It has to be all name recognition anymore, because there are thousands of better written, more alluring books.
One will probably be able to buy most of them at bargain basement prices in a couple years, why buy new.
One will probably be able to buy most of them at bargain basement prices in a couple years, why buy new.
See, all you have to do is make the conspiracy the fault of the Roman Catholic Church, and then people will buy it. Off the top of my head possible titles that would sell millions. "My Seasons of Hell: Memories of the Vatican and Its Secrets from the Janitor." Or "Secrets of the Swiss Guard: Orgies and Cardinals"Blah blah blah.
Jim, or you can go to Swaptree.com, where you'll see literally thousands of copies of The DaVinci Code being offered for trading. And no one's biting.
That kind of makes me feel better, but not much.
That kind of makes me feel better, but not much.
Now, Dan Brown should really write a book about who killed Pope John Paul. Not the JPII but the 30 day pope. That would be a book for sure.
Gus wrote: "Jim, or you can go to Swaptree.com, where you'll see literally thousands of copies of The DaVinci Code being offered for trading. And no one's biting.
That kind of makes me feel better, but not much."
Well, take the good feeling while you can.
That kind of makes me feel better, but not much."
Well, take the good feeling while you can.
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and then you have...
Also apparently did it not only sell 1 million copies but according to amazon its the first book where they sold more kindle versions than actual hardcover.
Cute