What's the Name of That Book??? discussion

This topic is about
The Dollmage
SOLVED: Children's/YA
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SOLVED. Babies are given Dolls/Totems with traits at birth- evil/bad one given to main character. [s]
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Woman who gave the totem carves them, and I think she had an issue with the main character's mother, which is why she gave her the bad totem.
I remember there was an issue with a suitor who wanted her, only until he agreed to marry him (through violence, I think), and then he acted like he hated her. He wound up being killed at the end to protect the main character, being foolhardy.
Promises are very important, I think he wanted to kill the main character because she 'broke her promise' to marry him. And the old woman herself broke a promise to follow her husband into death when he passed, so he's maybe haunting her?
She stays behind in the old village when the others leave.
I'm afraid I don't remember much else. This got dredged up from my mind after a DECADE, so please be kind.
Thank you so much!