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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query > Feed back for first pass or blurb for SciFi

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message 1: by Andrew (new)

Andrew | 14 comments Hey everyone, this is the first pass for a blurb I'm working on. I'm looking for any feedback that would make this more engaging and intriguing. It is for a SciFi novel. Any pointers or advice will be greatly appreciated.

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Jance Mace's and his best friend, Dandin Raven, are your average high school kids. Their biggest concern had been not falling asleep in their history class, that is until a mysterious girl named Sammy shows up at their houses to inform them they're not who they think they are: they're alien hybrids. Sammy, an alien herself, has been sent by the top-secret Central Earth Defense council to require the boys for the Ace Squad. Now the three must solve a rash of military base thefts before a hidden threat can change their very reality.


message 2: by Wally (new)

Wally Runnels (wrunnelspacbellnet) | 8 comments You hit the problem in the broad sense but what will they be fighting and how? Is this a YA story?


message 3: by Andrew (last edited Nov 08, 2019 10:05AM) (new)

Andrew | 14 comments Thanks for the feedback! I'll work at pulling your recommendations in.

It is a YA story.


message 4: by Andrew (new)

Andrew | 14 comments I've made some updates to my blurb, hopefully this version offers a better insight into the guts of the book

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Jance Mace's and his best friend, Dandin Raven, are your average high school kids. Their biggest concern had been not falling asleep in their history class; that is until a mysterious girl named Sammy shows up at their houses to inform them they're not who they think they are. They're hybrids of an alien race called majiuns, who are capable of controlling energy. Sammy, a majiun herself, has been sent by the top-secret Central Earth Defense council to recruit the boys for the Ace Squad. When unknow threat begins to rob military bases, and the course of history begins to change, the three must learn to harness their abilities, come together as a team, race to solve the thefts and save their reality.


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