The Cheat: Chapter 1 (October 28, 2019)

[Marita]

This page is for Chapter 1's discussion.

1) On this page you'll be able to discuss what you like and dislike about the chapter. But please make sure that your comments are constructive, not demolarizing.

2) If you are beta reading this chapter you'll need to PM me your email (for window docs or mobi files) or kindle email (for mobi files).

3) The chapter won't be edited, so there will be typos and other errors, whether grammatical or storywise. So, please be aware that you won't be reading a polished, finished ARC. Also, some UK English might slip in since I'm a New Zealander. If you see UK English instead of US English, definitely correct me :)

4) You can either point out typos or grammatical errors or just comment on the story - or do both. I'm happy with whatever you want to comment on. For typos, you can just message me with those, for anything related to the plot and characters, you can discuss on here. I hope the discussions will be fun.

5) There are bound to be different viewpoints with other beta readers, even with myself. This is fine, just play nice. As I said, I want everyone to have fun, not get upset.

6) You can stop beta reading whenever you like. I understand my story won't be for everyone, so don't feel obliged to continue helping me. Also, life gets busy, so if you find that you don't have enough time to read the story, no worries.

7) This story is not Young Adult, it's New Adult, therefore will have sexual content. Though, all the main characters will be 18 or older. Please be aware of this just in case this kind of story isn't for you.

8) This story is set in Minnesota. If I get anything wrong in regards to the setting, please let me know.

The first chapter will be sent out in the next day or two.

THANKS in advance!!! I hope you like my story :)

[Rochelle]

I have sent you my Kindle address for the beta chapters. I can't wait to get started.

[Marita]

Rochelle wrote: "I have sent you my Kindle address for the beta chapters. I can't wait to get started."

Thanks!

[Marita]

I've sent the first chapter out to everyone who has given me their email or kindle email. Anyone who hasn't sent in their emails can still do so, it's not a rush, though the discussions will start soon.

[Marita]

I forgot to mention one thing, the series is from different perspectives. In The Cheat, Lucy and Riley have the main points of view. They are the main characters in the whole series, though, you will also get inside the other characters' heads in different episodes (like Brooke in the Cheerleader).

Also, if you want to have a bit of fun, you can also upload images, showing what you think the characters look like. Lucy, for me, reminds me of a curly haired Kat from Euphoria.

[Emma carruthers]

Well I loved the first chapter!! Was brilliant to see a unpolished girl as the lead roll this time, makes girls feel more human that you don’t have to be thin,perfect and in the most popular group. Also a can’t wait for chapter two am guessing Lucy is a virgin and god a hope Riley falls hopelessly, madly in love with her and never looks back. That’s my dream anyway was a great. It also ends on a wee cliffhanger, this would be fun to do every chapter leave us wanting more. Loved it all. I think In My head Lucy is a young rebel wilson blond, soft curls in her hair little over weight but if you get to know her she is kind and amazing,I hope she becomes a REBEL. Well done one the first chapter can’t wait for many more. Xxx

[Marita]

Emma carruthers wrote: "Well I loved the first chapter!! Was brilliant to see a unpolished girl as the lead roll this time, makes girls feel more human that you don’t have to be thin,perfect and in the most popular group...."

Thanks, Emma! Rebel Wilson is cool, though near the beginning of chapter 2 you'll find out that Lucy has brown hair. Here's the lines:

Riley gave me a whistle as I opened the door. “You look totally babe worthy tonight, Lucy,” he said, causing a flush to light up my cheeks, which wasn’t hard to do since I was pale. I was Irish-American, with milky skin and dark-brown hair that was hard to tame, my curls unruly to say the least.

Should I state she has dark curly hair in the first chapter to save confusion, or just leave it at the beginning of chapter 2?

[Emma carruthers]

Soon as Riley caged her in at the school lockers a wanted to know what she looked like what he was looking down on. So I guessed. Lol but now you have told me she deffo sounds better, love a brown haired girl I think it would be nice to mention in chapter one as you get to know she isn’t a slim girl and also she is pretty tall for a girls would be cool to know her hair and skin type as well. But honestly a don’t mind waiting to chapter 2 it’s just another surprise wee get to find out isn’t it.

[Marita]

Emma carruthers wrote: "Soon as Riley caged her in at the school lockers a wanted to know what she looked like what he was looking down on. So I guessed. Lol but now you have told me she deffo sounds better, love a brown ..."

I can add this on page three without it affecting the flow, allowing people to know she has dark curly hair:

Even though I wanted to hide behind my mass of dark curls, I lifted my chin instead, putting on a defiant front. “Go away, you jerks,” I said, relieved that my voice came out strong.

[Emma carruthers]

Love this Makes me picture her all now from top to bottom so I can have a picture in my head of her and Reilly early on :-) x

[Marita]

Emma carruthers wrote: "Love this Makes me picture her all now from top to bottom so I can have a picture in my head of her and Reilly early on :-) x"

Cool, thanks, and thanks for pointing it out :) It's better now.

[carinne]

I like it, I just found it weird that Riley was poor. I don't know why it came across as unbelieveable. I guess I feel like she would have used that secret against him, and wouldnt have been so afraid of him.

[Marita]

carinne wrote: "I like it, I just found it weird that Riley was poor. I don't know why it came across as unbelieveable. I guess I feel like she would have used that secret against him, and wouldnt have been so afr..."

I think Lucy's more afraid of Brooke than Riley, she just gets nervous around him because of her crush, while Devin and Zuko just annoy her. They also make her feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, especially Devin who's mean. Though, Brooke does use Riley's embarrassment about being poor against him. Brooke's more calculating than Lucy. Lucy is driven by her hormones, while Brooke is driven by her need to control everything and everyone. I hope Riley's chapter explains more (chapter 3).

Anyway, thanks, I appreciate your comments! I'll see if I can make that come across better.

[Marita]

I'm kind of thinking that Lucy looks a bit like Barbie Ferreira (from EUPHORIA).

[Marita]

Here's another picture of Barbie Ferriera that could work for Lucy, though Lucy's hair is crazier.

[Marita]

While this picture makes me think of Brooke.

[Emma carruthers]

Love the pictures

[Marita]

Emma carruthers wrote: "Love the pictures"

Thanks! I still haven't found someone for Riley, though I found someone who would work for Zuko. If you happen to see any pictures that you think would suit a character, you can pop them up here too :)

[☺~Tina~☺]

Chapter 1 off to a good start. We will see how it goes but I wish Lucy would have just stayed with the original no to Riley.

[Marita]

☺~Tina~☺ wrote: "Chapter 1 off to a good start. We will see how it goes but I wish Lucy would have just stayed with the original no to Riley."

She definitely should've said no :)

[Marita]

If anyone hasn't gotten the followup chapters, let me know. I'm not sure whether everyone's received up to chapter 3. Also, chapter 4 is now ready, so if you want that I can send it out too.

There are 8 chapters in THE CHEAT. THE CHEERLEADER is the next episode in this series.