Detailed Roleplayers discussion
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TheCountess x Isis #2
Karson laughed. "That's true, but all clothes have to into the pile," he said, pointing to his own discarded shirt. "No hiding." He grabbed the trousers right out of Nathaniel's lap and tossed them over to his shirt, but not without taking a peak. He could see even from the little peak that Nathaniel was a good sized man. In this case, it seemed that the rumors were true. "Hmmm," he mumbled thoughtfully, then shrugged. "Alright, again. We're not quitting until one of us is naked. And by one of us, I do mean you." He laughed again before shuffling up the cards. Nathaniel bit at his lip and Karson laughed, it was his nervous tick. Well, it was actually his tick for just about everything. Every emotion could be covered with a laugh, and he did this quite often. However, he usually just seemed like he was enjoying himself.
Nathaniel was glad his brown skin prevented him from blushing but he was completely flushed when his trousers were grabbed out of his hand. "argh fine," he said pouting and crossing his hands over his chest. He heard Karson mumble and sneered wondering what the man was thinking. "But for the record. you are definitely going down." he said picking up the cards and handing them to Karson. He glanced at the man's chest again and the skin on his palm tingled. What he wouldn't do to run his hands over...he cleared his throat and looked up at the man again. "Deal us in. I'm going to win this one." he said confidently.
This time Karson was the one distracted, he kept wondering what was really under those simple boxers. He kept want to lean over and take a peak. He kept wanting to know and to feel and to have. He knew they were pointless desires, but he couldn't help himself. Soon enough he had lot the round and he was stepping out of his own pants. This left him in his socks, shoes, and underwear. He had to admit he felt a little shy now, knowing a little of what Nathaniel had hiding, but he tried not to show this. He just threw his pants into the pile with all the faked confidence he could muster. "You just got lucky," he told Nathaniel, sitting back down after his pants were thrown aside.
Upon doing this his other two serious bullet wounds were revealed. The one on his hip as soon as his pants were off, and the one on the back of his shoulder blade when he threw the pants off to the side. The one on his shoulder was the smallest, the one on his hip an absolute disaster. That particular bone had caused him to have quite a bit of his hip replaced and the bone shattering had caused a massive amount of scarring. The scarring started from the obvious entry point then spread out in a circle from there as if there had been a tiny explosion from the center point, which was basically what had happened. The scars dipped down into his underwear.
Nathaniel laughed not even trying to hide that he was staring at Karson's underwear which wasn't hiding much of the bulge beneath them. He looked up and smirked. "you're forgetting I'm better at you in this game," he said pulling the cards towards him and putting them into a neat pile. He looked up again. His eyes widened when he noticed the big round scar on Karson's hip that basically spread out to right beneath his underwear. Nathaniel hadn't seen anything so scary in his life. He had a lot of questions but his mouth was dry and he didn't know where to start. He couldn't figure out how Karson had managed to survive something so gruesome looking and gone back into the same line of work that had caused his injury in the first place.Swallowing what little spit was in his mouth, Nathaniel abandoned the cards on the table and stood up just as Karson sat down. "I need some water," he announced to nervously and shuffled to the kitchen filling silly in his underwear, a shirt, socks and shoes. He wanted to at least remove his socks and shoes. He went to the kitchen and got a glass from the dishwasher. He poured himself some water and drunk from the glass, wondering if he was going to be able to go back to the living room when all he could think about was that scar. He didn't want to lose again because he was distracted.
Karson's face fell when Nathaniel was suddenly up and practically running away. He couldn't help but wonder if he was really that repulsive to look at. He had always thought he was on the attractive side, but that dream was shattered in a matter of seconds. He had never had someone look at him like he was some kind pitiable, disgusting creature. He stood up, cleared his throat. "I'm going to go to the bathroom," he said, though it was hard to make the words come out without sounding shaky. He walked toward the door he assumed was the bathroom, getting lucky and being correct. He walked in and shut the door behind himself. He looked at himself in the mirror. He had his gun in it's holster on one hip and the other was a gnarled mass of scars. He had forgotten about it, really, but he suddenly understood exactly what was so disturbing about his appearance. It really shouldn't have come as such as shock, considering he hadn't been with anyone since that particular accident.
Nathaniel's heart pressed against his ribcage. He didn't know what things were going through his mind. It wasn't that the scar frightened him, it was that he thought about the amount of pain that Karson had had to go through and then not blinking before going back to the work. He didn't have lots of friends. He didn't have family. Who had been there for him? Nathaniel thought about all of it and sighed. Even though Karson was working for the other team, he was still human and he felt pain like the rest of them.He sighed when he heard Karson's voice, just a hint of shakiness. He swallowed the rest of his water wishing he actually knew where his alcohol was at that moment. He shook his head and thought he was being silly. Taking a deep breath he advanced to the bathroom. He suspected he hadn't reacted well. Maybe he could explain his fears to Karson. Maybe he could be a friend however ridiculous the situation presented itself. He stood at the door waiting for Karson to come out.
Karson opened the door, jumping and pulling out his gun, surprised by Nathaniel standing there. It took a few seconds to register that he wasn't a threat, then he put the gun back. "Sorry," he mumbled, "You scared me. It's a force of habit." He walked out of the bathroom, slipping past the other man and going back to the table, still keeping an eye out as he went. He just wanted to get back the cards and pretend none of it had happened. He would play hard and make sure he didn't have to show the rest of the scar. "Alright, thirst quenched. Lets get back on this before I get bored. I need to whip your ass," Karson said, trying to play it off. He let out one of his laughs, this one covering his discomfort and, well, sadness, for lack of a better word.
Nathaniel gasped as the gun was pointed at his face. "Gosh would you stop that!" he said taking a step away from Karson with his hands raised in surrender. He sighed and followed the other man, taking in his scent as he walked past. Why that hadn't hit him before he didn't know, but for some reason it seemed to make an impact in his life right then. He decided he liked Karson's musky scent.He went back to the living room and stood at the door. He pulled off his shoes and socks and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't want to play anymore." he said quietly knowing that his next words would likely anger Karson and not even sure if it was a good idea to say them or not. "I'm not in the mood anymore, at least not until you tell me what happened to you." he touched his own hip to indicate what he was talking about. He could tell that Karson was affected by Nathaniel's reaction. He had been hoping to explain himself.
Karson rolled his eyes and let the cards drop on the table. He picked up his clothes off the floor, preparing to put them back on. "I got shot. End of story. I'm sorry it's disturbed you so much we can't even finish the stupid game." He pulled his shirt on only to realize he had done it backwards and inside out. He growled in frustration before pulling it off again and starting over. He was having much too difficult a time putting the shirt back to normal but he was so frustrated he couldn't stop to think about it just then.
Nathaniel stood up straight, not surprised by Karson's reaction. He had angered him just by asking about it and he figured that the person who put the bullet into him, meant more to him than the scar itself. He felt bad now for stopping the game, because he thought that they were having fun but now Karson had called it stupid. He bit his lip nervously. He wasn't anyone important to Karson, he didn't know why the information mattered to him or why had even bothered to prod him. Nathaniel sighed and went up to Karson as watching him struggle with the shirt was driving him nuts. For a spy, he really didn't take frustration well. He took the shirt from Karson's hands and raised it above his head. He balled it up and held it on his side, taking a step close to Karson. Reaching down, he put his fingers on Karson's hip and stroked the scar gently, teasing his fingers into the waistband of his underwear, feeling the rough dips and bumps of the scar. He looked up at Karson with a soft expression. "I'm sorry," he whispered. Sighing again, he took the shirt opened it up and stuffed it over Karson's head. Once it was around his neck, he turned and sat down where he had been before. "We can finish the stupid game." he said quietly.
"I don't want to. I'm no longer in the mood, as you put it." He pulled his shirt the rest of the way over himself, embarrassed that he had to be helped with it, but trying not to show it. Karson shook his head and walked into the kitchen. He just needed to get his mind off of the subject and off of Nathaniel's fingers touching the scars. He got himself some water and stayed silent. He didn't want to do anything with the man, especially not while his clothes were off. He felt absolutely idiotic for even enjoying the game in the first place. "I think it's probably best if I go to sleep now," Karson said. He put his pants on now as well, moving his gun aside so that he could do so without disturbing it. It had felt good to be out of his filthy clothes, but it felt even better to hide behind them now.
Nathaniel groaned and covered his face. Whatever good atmosphere had been there before, if you could call it that, had evaporated. He stood up and went to get his own trousers from the pile. He pulled them on. He didn't think he was going to ruin their game by acting curious but he guess he had. It was his fault the man was angry and his fault the game had stopped. Cocktail continued to lie on her spot undisturbed and he rolled his eyes at the cat."Okay...sure. Go ahead." he said biting his lip. He looked at Karson. "The guest room is right down the hall from the bathroom. It has an en suite shower and toilet. Um...yeah. Okay goodnight." he said nodding his head awkwardly and making his way to the stairs. He didn't know what else to do or say to the man. He'd already mad it uncomfortable, he didn't want to anger him to the point of pulling out his gun. And how was this helping him gather information? There was a reason they kept him secluded from the real world. He sighed and started his way upstairs.
Karson nodded. "I'll make breakfast in the morning if you want. Be warned I'm a light sleeper and I will still kill you if you try to get me in my sleep." With that said he walked down the hall and went to the guest bedroom. Once there, he got in the shower, glad to finally be washing the filth away. He realized he should have asked for some clean clothes, but it was too late and he was not about to go after Nathaniel asking for them now. He would simply sleep naked and ask for the clothes in the morning, not that he usually slept with clothes on in the first place.
Nathaniel got to his room and sat on his bed sighing loudly. He didn't have to go to sleep right now. He still had his analysis to go through. That was why he slept during the day. He used a different clock than the rest of the world. He decided to take a shower anyway. It might help him calm down. He took a the shower quickly, tried not to think about Karson and his countless death threats while he was in there and got out. While he was drying himself and pulling on his sweat pants and a t-shirt, he remembered Karson's badly torn pair of trousers. He sighed and went to his closet and pulled out a couple of trouser, shirts and socks for him. This is what you do for your kidnapper, lend him clothes.Nathaniel rolled his eyes and jogged down the steps. He got to Karson's door and knocked on it. "I brought you clothes. There's pjs too." he said and set them on the ground turning to go.
Karson wrapped a towel around his waist and went to answer the door, trying not to think too much that he was once again showing all his scars. He peaked out, then reached for the clothes. "Thanks," he said softly, "I needed these and I totally forgot. See you tomorrow I guess." He started to shut the door again so that Nathaniel wouldn't have time to start making comments and asking questions just because he was mostly naked again, then he paused. "Where can I find some hydrogen peroxide? I think my leg is starting to get a little mess up and I need to clean it out." He didn't want to ask, but he knew he needed to if he didn't want his leg to get worse.
Nathaniel stopped at the stairs and turned around. He looked at Karson wedged between the door trying to hide his body. He frowned. "I have some in my bathroom. I'll get it for you." he said with a sigh. He jogged up the steps, went to his bathroom and got some hydrogen peroxide together with the first aid kit he kept up there. He returned down with it and held it out to Karson, through his door. He gulped. "Um, do you want me to help?" he asked biting his lip.So far, the man had held him at gun point, cooked him an omelet, made him remove his pants and gotten angry at him. He didn't even know if they were supposed to be friends now, or just friendly enemies. The whole affair confused him still. He wasn't sure how long Karson was staying but because of a whole night of up and downs, he preferred if his visit was not extended too long. The faster his phone lines worked the faster the man would be gone. He sighed and waited for his answer.
Karson actually had to laugh at that. "Are you kidding? You almost passed out over your own blood, I'm sure as hell not letting you come anywhere near mine. Plus, I don't plan on getting dressed for the rest of the night. I can do this all on my own. I've done it many times, as you have already realized I'm sure." He tucked the first aid kit under his arm, still holding onto his towel though he could feel it wanting to slip away from him now. "Goodnight Nathaniel. Sleep well. I'll try to be out of your hair tomorrow and I'll repay your kindness as best I can," Karson closed the door with a soft click. Then, he let his towel drop before he went into the bathroom to take care of his leg.
Nathaniel sighed as the door closed in front of him. Of course Karson was right. There was no way in hell Nathaniel would have been able to help him. Blood was his biggest weakness that he knew of, and Karson was clearly tough enough to handle things on his own. He had even glanced at the scars littered over Karson's chest and realised how stupid his suggestion had seemed. He turned to the stairs.Now two things were wrong though. First, Nathaniel's plan to extract information about his agency were being botched if Karson actually found a way to leave. He didn't have the kind of time that one needed to analyse someone even though that was what he was good at. Nathaniel was more closed off than he expected. He couldn't hack something so complicated in less than a day.
The second issue was that all he could think about now was Karson's naked body. The little he had been able to touch had only been the starter. He wanted the whole meal, down to desert but he couldn't get it now or ever. He sighed and walked up the stairs sadly.
Karson poured the cleaner onto his wound, gritting his teeth as he did so. It was definitely infected, but hopefully it hadn't set in too badly as of yet. He couldn't afford another hospital visit at this time. He had gotten out less than six months ago and the hospital was just about done with his shit. He sighed heavily and went over to the bed, laying down and staring at the ceiling with his wound wrapped and cleaned. It stung, but it was more of an annoyance than a pain. In any case, it was nice to just be alone without having Nathaniel to judge him and his body. He didn't think he could take much more of that from the stranger. He didn't have a huge ego, but the little confidence he had had in his looks had definitely been crushed. He remembered perfectly why he hadn't been with anyone in so long. And, it had indeed been very long.
Nathaniel went to his study and sat at his desk. He worried about his concentration wondered if he would be able to keep it if he knew there was a man in his guest room, gay and naked. What had the world come to that he couldn't even get relief when the right kind of person was within arms reach.He shook his head damning his weird thoughts. Even though Karson was willing, of course Nathaniel wouldn't do it. He was a stranger. This was not a one night stand from the bar. This was a man with a gun and possibly a bigger gun...Can you focus. He sighed at his inner voice and put on his head phones. He trained his radio frequency to the sounds of anything interesting. He couldn't hear anything. Nothing to catch his fancy, but then again, he wasn't really listening. He removed the head gear and left his study, slamming his door. He went to his room and threw his body onto his bed. It was hopeless, he wouldn't be able to concentrate with his mind on that. Maybe he could relieve himself or just take a cold shower. Had it really been that long?
Karson's mind started to slip slowly. It had been almost a year and half since the hip incident, that meant he hadn't been with anyone for almost two year. Anyone except his hand. The hand that was currently touch the bullet scar on his chest. Nathaniel had touched it in just the same way. Nathaniel was in his room; Karson had heard him stomp there. Nathaniel wore boring underwear but what was underneath those underwear had been less than boring...maybe even largely interesting. He wondered how big the man actually was. He wonder if the man had been hard or soft when he got his one little glimpse. He felt a stirring and his hand slipped down from his scar to another part of his body. He closed his eyes. His hand wouldn't be too bad. It had been a while since he had even used that, so it would be like a stranger. A tall, handsome, dark stranger. A stranger he had kidnapped on accident. A stranger with a largely interesting bulge in his boring boxers.
Nathaniel bit his lip resisting the urge to touch himself. He could have the fantasy play it out in his head without having to do anything but even just the thought of Karson's naked body was getting him all heated up in his whole body and blood was rushing to his nether regions. That cold shower would probably be needed now. He sighed dramatically, his voice high like that of a teenage girl. He covered his mouth. Maybe his fantasy, face pressed against the wall, hands on his butt...maybe it had gone too far.He rolled off his bed. His mouth dry. He was going to risk going downstairs for a bit of water. He had to tell himself not to barge into the guest room, flip Karson to his desired position and release his frustration. He just had to go to the kitchen, drink his glass and leave or even better, take a jug up with him so he didn't have to do anything irrational. He nodded, concluding that this was the plan that would work. He left his room and jogged down the stairs quietly not to disturb Karson as promised. He went to the kitchen but then he didn't see Cocktail and stepped on her tail as she was drinking water in the darkness. Great minds, though he doubted she wanted sex as bad as he
Cocktail cried out in pain and Nathaniel removed his foot. She hissed at him and clawed at his feet. He was glad he had worn sweat pants. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he whispered to her and told her to shush.
Karson jumped when he heard the cat yowling, causing his hand to squeeze involuntarily. It hadn't been the plan, exactly, but it caused a small moan to escape his lips. The cat was immediately forgotten, as was the wonder as to why it yowled in the first place. He got to work, thinking about the man upstairs. It was a nice fantasy. The man harboring him giving him exactly what he had needed for so long. Those dark hands all over him... He let out another low moan, unaware the he was even doing it. He didn't even think about being in a strange house. He didn't think about anything that did not relate specifically to the fantasy.
Nathaniel looked up when he heard something strange, something he rarely heard in his house. He shook his head. It was nothing out of the ordinary probably just a floorboard. He filled his jug with water and carried a glass of water with him. He was going to the stairs when he thought he heard Karson. He frowned and went to the door of his guest room and in a total violation of privacy he stood by the door his ears close. He took in sharp breath when he heard a low moan from the man's room. His eyes widened. Was the man doing what he thought he was? He couldn't believe it. He had been upstairs trying to calm his thirst but here Karson was wasting it on his hand. What he wouldn't give to be in that room. The next moan made the bulge in his pants rise. Karson was going to ruin him. He could just walk away, not be there anymore, forget he had heard anything. But it was too delicious a sound to walk away so easily from. He bit his lip.
||Wow, I really had to look for this one...haha||Nathaniel walked out of the the guest room, his head hanging as he closed the door. There, he had broken it off before anything serious had happened. Then why did it feel as if someone had stabbed him right in the heart. He couldn't even move from the door. He sank to the ground, joining the jug and glass of water he had abandoned, just like he had abandoned Karson. He held his head in his hands and pressed his hands to his head, trying to keep from screaming or crying or letting the overwhelming feeling take his body over. He could still hear the hurt in Karson's last words to him. Who had hurt him, who had made him feel like this over and over again? Had he just joined the list of assholes Karson had gotten to know?
Nathaniel didn't have to ask that question twice? He was probably at the top of that list now.
Karson got himself cleaned up, practically scrubbing off his skin just so he could try and feel better. He felt filthy all of a sudden, inside and out. He wished it would all just go away. He wished he had just gotten off alone and Nathaniel had never bothered to walk into the room. The sex really hand't been worth this feeling of filth and abandonment. When he finally got out of the shower the water had run cold and he wasn't feeling any better. He dried himself off and went back to the bed. He laid down, but far from the spot they had spent most of their time in. He tried to push all thoughts of Nathaniel from his mind, but it was impossible. The man was right upstairs, or somewhere else in the house, just enjoying the fact that he got to have sex and run.
Nathaniel stayed on the floor hating himself and his decision. He couldn't move. His eyes were glued shut, his hands still pressed onto his head. His thoughts jumbled, mixed in a blender unable to be separated. He could remember every moment with Karson clear in his mind and he wanted to forget, forget how good it had felt, how comfortable and safe he had been because he didn't want to long for something he couldn't have. Worst of all, explaining something like that to Karson would have made him seem desperate, the man would not have understood and so he sat there feeling sorry for himself, his heart about to explode. He just needed to get his strength back so he could get back to his room.
Karson walked of to the door and turned off the light. It would be better just to sleep at this point and he would force himself too. That was one thing he was good at, shutting his mind down long enough to sleep. It would be difficult on this particular night, but he would manage. He had to. He needed to get out of this house as soon as possible and that was not going to happen unless he was rested and had his strength back. He had decided that waiting for communication was no longer an option. He would have to leave, just to get away from Nathaniel and that horrible magnetic pull all around him. He would risk it just to be away from this place. At least that way he would know that Nathaniel was actually gone, and not just upstairs bathing it all in.
Startled when he saw the lights go off in Karson's room, Nathaniel scrambled to his feet hoping he wasn't making that much noise. For a second, he contemplated going back into the room and telling Karson exactly what he was feeling but he reconsidered that. He didn't think Karson would appreciate being played around like a yoyo. Nathaniel had had his share of such horrible encounters. He had to sever their ties, break them off completely.Bending down, he picked up the jug of water and the glass and walked to the stairs. He was going up and thinking very lowly of himself when he felt stabbed his toe against one of the stairs and landed on his knee with a loud thud. "Fuck!" he cried out dropping the hand with the glass painfully onto the staircase shuttering it, shards spreading everywhere including one big chunk into his hand. The jug landed too but didn't break thanks to it's plastic exterior. He rolled over to a sitting position gripping his injured hand in the other one, his eyes wide as he saw the blood spilling out. Blood, so much bl.. He felt himself getting dizzy unable to call out, unable to open his mouth in case he puked right there. He could barely see now. That's right, he was going to die after having amazing sex and probably getting someone to hate him all because of hitting his toe. How ironic he die from bleeding out?
Karson heard the one loud curse word in the dark. It sounded pain and he got himself running. He was out of the room and to the stairs in a matter of seconds. There, he saw Nathaniel looking pale, as pale as a black man could, and sitting with a pool of glass at his feet. On second glance he saw Nathaniel holding out a bleeding hand with a chunk of glass in it. It wasn't actually all that bad in Karson's well trained eyes, but he knew Nathaniel was probably one drop of blood away from passing out on his face. "Stay calm," Karson commanded him, "If you pass out I'm not going to be able to help you. Don't look at it. Take a few deep breaths, then I want you to stand up and go step over this glass. We're going to the bathroom in my room so I can clean you up but you're too big for me to carry. Ok? You've got to help me out here if you want that to stop bleeding before it's serious."
When Nathaniel saw Karson come out of his room, he was grateful then embarrassed and then he became fearful again. He shook his head quickly when he was told to calm down as if the concept of 'calm' was completely ridiculous and unachievable. He tried to take those few breaths but then he started hyperventilating and then when he Karson said the word 'bleeding' it seemed a trigger for his heart rate to increase.Nathaniel tried to calm down but all he could do after Karson's last instructions was to nod. He reached out with his unhurt hand and grabbed the banister gently. He struggled to his feet and bit his lip looking at Karson. He didn't want to pass out, he really didn't. It would be the most embarrassing thing to happen especially in front of Karson. He kept his eyes on the man's face as he wrapped his other hand around Karson's neck and leaned towards him for support. He glanced down at the glass and taking a tentative step, went over the glass pieces. He turned his face back to Karson and then saw his hurt hand on the other side of the man's neck and started to shake his head again. "No...No...Kar...I can't...I can't..." he said his head lolling from side to side. "I tried not to look..." his head moved from side to side again as if he was going to pass out. He tried to focus on Karson's face.
Karson gave the man's face a hard, brisk slap. "Stop it!" he demanded. "You can and you're going to. Be a man like you were before!" He started to walk toward his bedroom with the other man's arm slung around his neck. He was still supporting the man much more than he should have been for just a cut hand, but he could manage it to the bathroom. Once there he sat Nathaniel on the toilet. "You're going to want to look away. This is going to hurt, but I have to do it." He looked around for something, found a comb and handed it to Nathaniel. "Bite it. It will keep you from screaming or biting your tongue."With that taken care of he searched around until he found some rags. They were going to be destroyed, but he didn't have time to think about that. He sat down in front of Nathaniel and took his injured hand. He slowly inched the shard of glass out of his hand. Blood poured from the wound but it was nothing life threatening, yet. When he got the piece out there was a huge gush and blood splattered to the floor of the bathroom and all over Karson's legs. He ignored it, grabbing the first rag and pressing it to the wound.
When Karson slapped him, Nathaniel's eyes snapped open and he glared angrily at the man. "That was unnecessary," he said shaking his head and feeling heat rising to his face when Karson brought up being a man. He landed on the toilet reluctantly, and took the comb with a sneer. He put the comb in his mouth and sighed. He was about to complain about his good rags when Karson reached for the glass and he closed his eyes, biting down on the comb when he felt the glass being pulled out and screaming anyway. He was told not to look but Nathaniel opened his eyes anyway. He saw the blood in his periphery but his eyes were trained on Karson. In his head, he traced a line down the man's set jaw, kissed his nose, cupped his cheeks and kissed his lips gently. He imagined Karson's smile, Karson's laugh and even a slight frown, a smirk snaking it's way in. He could see them already, forming naturally and his attraction to the man scared him a little more. Despite that, he stared at him as he worked, looking all serious and he decided to memorise that too. His serious face. He smiled, giggling a little.
Karson frowned and looked away from the hand up to Nathaniel's face. "What's so funny?" he asked. He was immediately concerned that the man was laughing at him naked now that he wasn't hard, or something. There was nothing else that could possibly be funny in this situation. Nothing. The rag was already filling up with blood and he shook his head, replacing it. He looked away from the man's face to focus on the hand. He would just help him out then get out of there before he could be laughed at some more, or used again. "Do you have a sewing kit?" he asked. "I'm going to have to stitch this up for you." He grabbed the hydrogen peroxide that he had used on himself earlier, and before Nathaniel could complain, he poured it directly onto the wound. That done, he pressed the rag back. He actually felt satisfaction at the way Nathaniel hurt after the hydrogen peroxide. It was a very small payback for being used.
Nathaniel's heart jumped when he saw Karson's face and the man asked him that question. He smiled widely at him, not really wanting to give away his little secret, the pleasure it gave him to look at Karson's handsome face and see it in its transformations. He was about to say something flirtatious when Karson told him about sewing. He shook his head. "I don't want to...AHHHHH!" he screamed out when the hydrogen peroxide poured on his scream and he couldn't pull his hand back because Karson was holding it too tight. "fuck," he whispered closing his eyes, his heart racing.
Karson gritted his teeth a little bit. Even through his anger and hurt he started to feel bad about making him scream like that. "Sorry," he mumbled, "Had to before you stopped me. Where's the sewing kit? If I don't close this up you're going to just keep bleeding until you can't bleed anymore. I've done it to myself a million times and I promise it doesn't hurt that badly. Please, just let me help you." He almost didn't want to help Nathaniel, but he knew that he would regret it if he didn't. Further, he owed him for taking over his home...though he supposed he had already fulfilled his quote on that count.
Nathaniel shook his head. He still didn't want to be sewn up but he supposed he could let Karson do it even though it was going to hurt. He trusted the man and he didn't want to keep bleeding. "Oh...o...okay." he said nodding reluctantly. He could feel the coldness in Karson's voice even with the apology and the offer to help. He was clearly angry, still angry at Nathaniel and he wanted to make things right. He didn't know how to. "It's in the cupboard in the living room where I got out the cards." he said, before I ruined our game of cards and also before I left you in bed, his thoughts finished off. "I trust you," he whispered wondering whether that would make a difference.
Karson gave Nathaniel a sad glance before he got up and ran out to get the sewing kit. When he came back he sterilized the smallest needled. He threaded it with black thread. "You're going to want to bite on that comb again," Karson said. "You can have some pain medication after this, but I've got to get it done. So bite hard." Once he was sure that Nathaniel had done as told, he started the needle into his skin. It was over in a matter of seconds, but Karson knew that was a terribly uncomfortable feeling, even for him.
Nathaniel nodded, took a deep breath and bit down on the comb again. The pain was tremendous. It was so painful her almost fainted. He couldn't believe Karson had gone through this multiple times and he was still willing to get hurt for others. He was admirable. Nathaniel hadn't met anyone like him for a while and it reinforced his need to be far apart from him but he couldn't seem to shake the man off.When the sewing was done, he opened his eyes gently and glanced at the man's serious face again. He put the comb aside and grinned, reaching his hand out, without thinking it through, he traced gentle lines over Karson's face, forehead, cheeks, jawline, the secret face that he liked. It made him look scary and cute at the same time and he was glad he wasn't facing the man's gun again because he would have probably been chuckling like an adolescent boy.
Karson turned his face away and he shook his head. "Don't. Don't do that to me," he said. He stood up and put the bloody rags into the sick. "Just go up to your room like you planned to do. Don't act like you want me now that I've saved you, or something like that. I don't need that. I don't deserve that." He washed out the rags as best he could then he walked out of the bathroom with them. They would have to be thrown away along with the rag he had used earlier that day for his own wound. His mind tried to shut Nathaniel out as he did the work of shoving the rags to the bottom of the trash can, but he couldn't help but notices that he was doing this exact task for the other man. He hated himself for it. He hated that he had liked that hand on his face. He hated that he wanted to just go and kiss him again.
Nathaniel's stomach dripped when Karson pulled away and told him to leave him be. He felt heat rising to his face because of the guilt that he had hurt Karson and his embarrassment for thinking that it could be fixed so easily. When Karson left the bathroom, Nathaniel sat there with his eyes downward, looking at the stitches on his hand and frowning. He stood up after a while and then went to the kitchen. "Don't I...um..." he said softly. "Don't I need to cover this so that it doesn't get wet?" he asked softly. He saw Karson at the waste bin his back turned to him and once again, that feeling of loss overwhelmed him. "Karson," he said softly. "Please look at me."
Karson laughed and finished his task. He turned to look at Nathaniel. "Why?" he asked, "Why do I have to look at you in order to tell you that I'm going to get to that part. I was trying to throw away the blood rags because I had to pick you off the ground. Stop acting like you didn't just fuck me and leave. You did. I'm only helping you because I didn't want you to die, and then you can go upstairs and forget I'm here like you planned. I'll be gone by the time you wake up." He looked in a few drawers until he found some plastic wrap. He took it out then brought it over to man's hand and wrapped it up. "Change it every couple of hours, of if it starts to feel moist. I'm going to bed." He started off back to the room he was staying in.
Nathaniel followed quickly after Karson, his heart racing, the pain building up inside him. "I did!" he shouted, louder than he intended but hoping the man would stop. "I did fuck you and leave..." He felt tears sting his eyes but he blinked them away. "And I'm sorry." He bit his lip. "I just..." what he had been bottling up, everything he hadn't wanted to admit to himself much less to this man who only hours ago had threatened to kill him and now had saved his hand, he had to tell him. He didn't want Karson to hate him forever, even though that seemed easier, he just had to tell him. "I don't want you to be gone..." he said finally. "I don't understand why I feel this way, but the thought of you going tore me up and I couldn't bare to get close to you and so used to you only to have you... gone." he sighed and his shoulders slumped visibly. "So yes, you're right. I did, I did fuck you and leave...to save my own heart...but it's only been hurting since." His eyes fell to the floor unable to face Karson. "So please, look at me."
Karson had to roll his eyes at that last sentence. "I am looking at you. You're the one looking at the floor." He wasn't exactly sure how to deal with the thick emotion in the room, from himself or from Nathaniel. The comment had just sort of slipped out before his brain had time to catch it and lock it up. He sighed, "I'm sorry. I know what you mean. I'm looking at you."He took a deep breath and leaned back against the counter. "I don't think you understand how often this happens to me. Anyone who knows who I really am and gets wrapped up with me, sexually or otherwise. It hurts. It's happened a million times and it still hurts. Yes, I have a very odd job, but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of being in a relationship, or loving someone. I don't know why every man assumes that they can just get up and leave on me without hurting my feelings. I'm still human. I crave companionship just as much, if not more, than any other human being. I don't want someone to fuck me and leave. I don't even do that and I'm the one who's on the run...it's just, not fair. I don't choose to leave, Nathaniel. I don't choose anything in my life, let alone how I feel about you. It was an accident and I'm sorry I pulled you into it. I wish it was easier. I wish I could say that I could just drop everything and stay with you, but that's not how my life works. I'm not just going to disappear into thin air though..."
Nathaniel looked up at Karson when the man spoke at first. His heart jumped, unable to process what he had heard properly before the man apologised. He stayed silent, holding his hurt hand inside his okay hand and looking at Karson as he spoke. He nodded gently, listening to every word, breaking inside because he had hurt an already hurt man even without meaning to. He'd been so stupid, so irrational to think that everything was going to be solved by leaving the situation."I'm sorry," Nathaniel pleaded. "I'm sorry." He took a step towards Karson. "I don't want to be on that list of people that hurt you. I didn't want to hurt you all. That wasn't my intention. You're right. I shouldn't have assumed you didn't feel anything about me because now I know I was wrong." He moved closer. "I don't want you to hate me. I don't even know if you can forgive me but I don't want you to hate me because I want to listen to stories from your odd job and I want to hold you in my arms and I want to stitch you up when you get cut or teach you new card games..." Nathaniel swallowed but continued to speak and move forward. "I was trying to save us from the inevitable pain of letting each other go after getting too close but I don't care any more. That pain will probably be less hurtful than how it will hurt if you leave here hating me."
Karson's lips twitched into a small smile and he shook his head. "You could never stitch me up, Nathaniel. You're afraid of blood and you have no idea how to do something like that. It's sweet though, that you would try to fix me." He took a deep breath and tried to look anywhere but Nathaniel for a moment. Looking at him was making it easy to believe him, and he didn't want to. He felt like he was falling into some kind of trap here. Like if he let himself have feelings for Nathaniel he was going to end up getting hurt even worse than he already had, but he couldn't stop the falling. "Nathaniel, I don't know what this is, you and I. It seems wrong that we should lead each other on in this way, but at the same time if feels worse not to. I've liked you since I walked into your house and I think you might like me too. And I do mean more than just fucking, but I'm not sure if this is a good idea. One of us is going to get hurt very badly and I see no way to prevent that. We live in different worlds and you already walked out once." He sighed and ran a hand up through his hair. "I don't believe in happy endings."
Nathaniel let out a long breath thinking to himself. You don't know how similar our worlds are. He looked at Karson shaking his head. He actually knew how to stitch someone up. He had learned it at the academy but he obviously couldn't tell Karson this without compromising his identity. Also, it wasn't the most important issue in front of them right then. He shrugged. "I'm not sure if this is a good idea either." he whispered softly and walked forward so that they were standing only a metre apart. "but I like you too and that has to mean something beyond everything that's making us hesitant." Leaving. Nathaniel wanted to groan at that word. Karson was probably going to hold that moment above his head for the rest of his life. He gulped and looked at Karson "I don't know what to say to get you back but...there can be...there can be happy endings...our different kind of happy ending." he said biting his lower lip.
Nathaniel sighed. Taking in a deep breath. He reached for his belt buckle, opened it up, followed by his button and zipper and wiggled out of his trousers. He folded them up roughly and placed them on his lap, just in case Karson got some ideas to look. He shrugged and smirked at Karson. "What? You didn't say what you wanted off." he said sitting confidently in his boxer briefs but suddenly wanting to go back to the part where he had just removed his shirt or his socks and shoes, anything instead of sitting there like a fool in his underwear.