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Contest 9/4/09-9/11/09 (Extended thru 9/13/09)
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Dang, I've been so inactive in this group -smacks self-Okay, I'm going to enter this contest...I'm determined. -dashes off-
Thanks!Come on Ray, you can do it! *waves pom-poms*
I shall write it on the ride to our fishing location today! Thanks for teh motivation guys ^^
Okay, here's my entry. It's not the best, but I did what I could.Title: Catch of the Day- based on true events
Author: Captain Rayana
Word count: 738 words
A slight tug on the line and a faint glimmer on the surface of the water was enough to send my heart racing. I jerked on my fishing pole upwards, then rapidly reeled in my prize. The fishing pole bent under the strain, almost pleading to be relieved from its suffering. I kept reeling and pulling, determined to win the battle between me and my prey—the fish. It was a nasty little bugger when I saw it flopping out of the water. I jumped as I pulled it closer to myself, watching it roll around in the grass.
“Little spaz,” I growled under my breath. Every time it seemed to lose any sign of life, it would spring back up and start jumping around again. With mouth agape and eye staring up at the heavens, the fish soon began to lose energy while I gained hope. I slowly lowered my fishing pole to the ground and then walked over to the fish. I grasped it firmly around its slick body and stuck my fingers in its mouth in an attempt to retrieve my hook. The fished waggled its tail frantically and I dropped the fish in my surprise.
“Need help?” my cousin inquired as she came over to me. She knelt down and held onto the fish, before slipping the hook from the fish’s lip.
I laughed shakily. “Thanks,” I told her, then picked up the fish and threw it in a nearby bucket. It landed with a sickening splash and I winced.
“So, that was your first?” my cousin asked, raising her eyebrows. I grinned and nodded in reply.
She chuckled as she threw her line back into the water. I didn’t bother asking what was so humorous as I went to get some bait. I reached into the can of corn and picked out two pieces of the golden ‘fish food’. Apparently, it was easier to catch fish with corn than with regular worms. I didn’t quite believe it, but we didn’t really have anything else to use as bait.
I hooked the corn onto the line, and then threw it back in into the water. The glowing white bodies of the white trout piqued my interest and I hoped to catch at least one today. They were hard to catch, or that’s what I heard from everyone who had fished in this area. I had a slight feeling that things were going to be in my favor today, though. I sighed and let myself relax, the buoy from my fishing line gently bobbing on the surface of the water.
It hadn’t been an eventful day, besides the fact that I caught the first fish ever in my life. But what had been a heart-pounding experience had now diminished into a small accomplishment. An accomplishment, but that wasn’t quite enough for me. I always had big expectations for myself.
I laid down my fishing pole and sat down at nearby bench. I looked over at the bucket of fish that my cousin and I had caught. There were three in the bucket: there was a granite-colored one with a rosy stripe on its side which I had just caught, and two silvery fish with ribbons of goldenrod under their gills which my cousin had caught. Despite the bright colors of the fish, their semi-bloody carcasses set my gag reflex into motion. I quickly looked away and bit my lip. Never had I seen an animal in such a disheveled state before … and frankly, it frightened me.
I shook my head and stood back up, then walked over to my fishing pole. I picked it up and reeled my line back in. I grunted and inspected the hook, seeing that the corn had been stolen by the greedy fish that inhabited the lake. Grumbling another my breath, I went over to the can of corn again and reached into it with my grubby fingers.
“Hey, Mona … “my cousin’s voice said softly from beside me, her voice having a slight mischievous tone about it. I rolled my eyes and looked over at her, ready to take on whatever she was going to throw at me.
She laughed and flung a waggling fish in my face while crying, “Surprise!”
I screamed and fell over, landing on the grass with the slimy fish on my chest. Geez, I didn’t mean what I said before literally …
Love the descriptions. Good work, Ray! :)
Happy 9/9/09 everyone!Ray, great story!
I'm 3/4 way through a story, and should have it ready to post tonight.
Have a great day!
Heehee, thanks guys. I hope I win :)
Ok, right under the wire. Here's my story. I'll warn you that I didn't have a whole lot of time revising/editing. It is loosely (VERY loosely) based on real people, and some real events. It's also just a few words over the limit.Title: Routine
Words: 1,542
Routine.
With routine comes stability, and expected results. Routine also produces predictability.
It didn’t seem to matter that I was living in a foreign country, and that I saw new things everyday. The routine, and predictability still set in. Day in, day out work was almost the same. The weeks became predictable. Even my weekends were filled with similar activities. I hung out with the same people, and even though the venue was different. It’s hard to believe, but even sight seeing became repetitive.
The comfortable rhythm of life was soothing, but could also be sad and isolating at times. I worked at an English conversation school near Tokyo. It was hard to be away from loved ones back home, but was grateful for all the opportunities to meet new people. Our students, mostly adults, were often invited to social gatherings. The lines between student and friend were often blurred. This was encouraged for the students to feel connected to the school, but also for the teacher to feel connected to the Japanese culture. It did help to curb some of that isolation.
I always found it difficult to really connect with many of my students. Either we were at completely different points in our lives, their limited English hampered deep communication, or my students were men. Many students, often men, viewed going to English conversations classes as any other class. They are there to learn, and then go on about their business. Women, tended to see it as another social part of their day, often making friends with fellow students. There were also those young college age girls with the dream of snagging a foreign boyfriend. Many young women came in dressed to the nines just to impress their male sensei. Our male teachers were very popular with the ladies.
Us women teachers were just not as popular. We were all single, young, and by many standards fairly good looking. To Japanese men, we may have well been dressed in a trash bag. The curiosity was definitely there, but they were not looking for romance. So, yes, even being ignored by the male populous became routine while our male counterparts were all treated like rock stars.
You can imagine my surprise when I was called in to meet a prospective student one afternoon, to be greeted by a quite personable gentleman of about 25. He had dark neatly disheveled hair, and dark green rimmed square frame glasses. He sat, relaxed, but stood to greet me when I entered the claustrophobic interview room. He was tall by Japanese standards, his eyes met my level at five-foot, ten-inches. He shook hands easily with a firm grip. His handshake alone told me this man was well traveled. Most handshakes I had gotten since I took this job were limp. Hand shaking wasn’t a cultural norm, so you can imagine my how unexpected this was.
Normally an “interview” to find the potential placement of a potential student was somewhat stressful. We needed to accurately access the person’s level all while making the prospective student feel at ease, welcome, and feel like they can learn something from you. We had a regular routine for these interviews, geared for low to proficient English ability. I didn’t have a routine for someone who is conversationally fluent. This was new, unexpected, and nerve wracking. His good looks didn’t help either.
I made a decision in that brief moment to throw out any plans of an “interview” and just talk with him. And, that’s what we did. We discussed his language ability, and how he learned English. It turns out he spent a year of college in Australia about six months earlier, and back-packed across America, from coast to coast, on a motorcycle about a year before that. She shared stories of speeding tickets, and getting lost.
My manager’s face peeked through the window, and I knew our time was limited. I gave her the signal that we needed just a moment longer. We’d never gotten the chance to discuss any of his goals for English. Wrapping up our meeting, we said our polite goodbyes with warm smiles. I’d hoped that he’d enjoyed the conversation as much as I had. For me, it was an unexpected breath of fresh air. The manager returned and took over the “sell” of the interview. This was a private English school after all, and we had to win over our customer/students. Sighing, I walked away, right back into the routine of my day. Walking back into the irritable comfort of my monotony. I finished up the otherwise ordinary workday.
Later that night, I finally asked my manager if the man had signed up for any classes. He hadn’t, and said he’d have to think about it. I’d worked in sales before and knew what that meant. My countenance gave away my true feelings.
“Sarah-sensei, do you have a crush on Kenichi-san?” Momoko asked slyly. I think she needed scandal more than I did. My reddening cheeks gave me away.
“I’d say it’s a bit early to call it a crush.” I responded. Just thinking the word “crush” brought back frightening memories from high school. The funny thing was, that’s how I felt. I sighed know that I could still feel that way at 23, even after jaded from heart-aches and break-ups. Through high school and college, I thought time had changed me for good.
“I … just had a really nice conversation with him. He’s an interesting person, and I hope to get the chance to know him.” I added, to show that I wasn’t completely superficial.
“I’ll let you know if he signs up for classes.” She smiled that coy smile and we closed the school for the night and grabbed some ramen from a stand near the train station.
The next few weeks went by in an uneventful fashion, but punctuated with pricks of pain. Every time I asked my manager about Kenichi, usually on a Saturday, that little pang of hurt came back. I eventually stopped asking, closing the door that allowed the pain to come in. I knew there were other factors at stake, and that I couldn’t take it personally. So, I eventually forgot about him altogether, rolling back into the uninterrupted monotony of life. Weeks or months went by before he crossed my mind again.
Sadly in this line of work, you meet a lot of people, and you have to say goodbye to people too. One of my co-workers hadn’t renewed her contract, and was now prepared to move back home. She’d been working at the school for almost two years, and had really taken me under her wing in my six months. We’d spent evenings hanging out after getting out of work at 10 pm, sight seeing on the weekends, and had even climed Mt. Fuji together during the short window of time it was opened.
Riding the train to her party destination, a barbecue by the river, I was lost in my thoughts over the last six months and my life since I’d moved to Japan. Despite the difficulties of adjusting to a new life and culture, I was enjoying myself immensely. Yes, it had its ups and downs, but what place didn’t? I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t see anyone approach me.
“Sarah-sensei” a faintly familiar voice came from the gentleman standing next to me. I nearly jumped from my skin; I don’t know that many people in the city, and this random person knew my name. Looking up, I realized this was no random person.
“Kenichi?” My voice shook, unsure of the person next to me.“You remember me?” He seemed surprised.
“Well, yes. Wow, how are you?” I tired not to get too excited by keeping the conversation casual.
“I’m fine, and you?” he responded in a light tone.
“Where are you off to tonight?” I asked just to ask.
“I’m going to Marie-sensei’s farewell party. Isn’t that where you are going?” He responded with a puzzled look. My jaw must have hit my chest at this point, surprised he knew who Marie-sensei was.
“Marie-sensei? Do you take classes at our school!?” I didn’t bother holding my shock at this point.
“Yes, I’ve been there almost a month now. I signed a couple months after that time I came to the school.” He explained.
“Wow, I’m surprised I’ve never seen you at the school.” I said more to myself than to Kenichi.
“Your Saturday discussion class was full, so I took Marie’s.” He explained. Now I understood why I hadn’t seen him. I had back-to-back classes at that time, and didn’t see many other students on Saturdays. I stood quietly, still bewildered.
The rest of the train ride we talked about everything that came to mind until we reached the river. We discussed travel, music, books, movies, the English language, and even our hobbies.
The barbecue was bittersweet, but full of possibilities. Marie was looking at her new future back home, and I was staring at my new future in front of me, ready to break all of my previous routine, and stereotypes. Let’s just say, my routine was never quite the same again.
Mod
I'm not Tink, but judging doesn't seem to have started yet, so I think it would be ok to still submit. :)
Mod
I'm so sorry, guys! The due date is definitely 9/11. I totally spaced.No worries. You can totally still submit, Paige, I'll give you an extra day for computer malfunctions. However, I'd really like to start voting tomorrow, so if you can get it up ASAP, that'd be great.
Mod
Title: Nightmare
Author: Elaine
Word Count: 715
(Here is a song that goes amazingly well with this story: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqKRy_... Notice the line "The smile when you tore me apart.")
“Surprise!” he said, but I couldn’t understand what he meant.
Surprise? Wasn’t that suppose to be a good thing? Like ‘surprise parties’ and ‘surprise gifts’. This was not a surprise, it was a shock. A horrifying jolt from the very pit of my stomach. A crash of the senses. So much so, that a wave of nausea swept over me and made me sway where I stood.
He smiled at me, but it was not the smile I knew. It was all wrong. It wasn't real. This wasn't real – it was a nightmare. It had to be.
Ryan and I had been dating for over a year – ever since he had moved to my town. We were perfect for each other. He was very smart and very handsome. He was my prince. We'd gone to movies together, dinner, the fair, ice skating, concerts, and canoeing. We did everything together. His folks were great and his younger sister (who was two years younger than I) and I got along wonderfully. I'd sensed that our relationship was getting very serious these days, what with our graduation coming up. I can't believe that the whole time he'd been simply using me.
I had gotten back early from the vacation my family and I had taken over spring break, and was heading over to Ryan's house when I came upon his truck at a red light. Looking back, I guess I should have been suspicion right then; he hardly ever drove his truck, as he had a nice shiny silver Fusion that he liked to drive instead. I wasn't suspicion, though, and I was so anxious to see him again (and he had promised that he would have a surprise for me when I got back), that I decided to follow him and surprise him. After a few more turns, I thought he was headed to the lake. This thought made me all the more giddy, but I forced myself to drive slowly and leave enough space between us that he wouldn't notice me. He didn't make the turn at the lake, though. Instead he kept going straight, into the tangled forest. I followed him along the windy road, my curiosity sparked – I guess I should have taken a lesson from that cat. All of the sudden, he was gone. I slowed up, searching the trees for an entrance. I almost missed it, but spotted the deep ruts from his tires just in time. The narrow driveway could hardly be seen amid the overgrown hedge. As I squeezed between the branches, a huge mansion rose before me. It was broken down with its windows boarded up. It was exactly the way you picture a hunted house, and, for the first time, a chill went up my spine. I ignored it and my grin grew wider. Ryan was going to be so surprised! I could just make out the tailgate of his truck sticking out of the wild bushes. I didn't understand why he would want to hide his presence, but I pulled my car close the the hedges as well (I wasn't going to pull it into the hedge seeing as it was my only means of transportation and that my dad would have gone crazy if I'd gotten my it all scratched up).
The inside of the house was a complete shock. Though it was creepy and creaky like you'd expect, there was electronics everywhere. Computer upon computer and screen after screen, everything was wired together. It looked like the international space station or something. Again, I shivered, and hurried my footsteps. I didn't understand why this was all here, but then Ryan was so smart that I assumed he was probably working on some amazing technology. Was this the surprise he'd told me about? But what was this?
I took the steps two at a time, I was so excited to see him. And then I'd turned into the room and seen him sitting there. He sat with a smile on his face. It was his face, but not his smile. In his hands he loosely balanced a Walther P99 so that the barrel was pointed directly at my heart.
“Surprise!” he said, but I couldn’t understand what he meant.
Ooh, that's deep. Too bad I can't listen to the song `cause I don't have teh lastest update of Flash yet. Great story, though :D
Mod
Nah, its fine. :) I'll look them up later.
Ooh, good entry, Elaine! :) Loving this. We'll start voting tomorrow!!! :)
Ohhh, I got chills reading your story Elaine!Is this part of a larger story? Does she escape?
Mod
No, that's it. lol! I just wrote that little bit for this contest. I'm not sure if she escapes...I sort of think not...maybe...what do you think? lol!
Hey guys, polls up... someone else needs to vote...
Hey y'all... there's been a little bit of a mix up. I think some of you wanted to vote and we're unable to, so I've extended the voting through the 24th. But this is as far as it's going to go, so if you want to vote, do it now!
VOTING FOR THIS CONTEST ENDS TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT! SO IF YOU WANNA VOTE GO VOTE!
Mod
Elaine - 1st place
Julie - 2nd place
Rayanna - 3rd place
Congrats to all!
This is well-deserved and incredibly late. So so sorry, but here's you're certificate. :)
Mod
Ends: September 9th
Min. WC: 500 words
Max. WC: 1200 words
Theme: Surprise (can be any kind. Surprise party, surprise gift surprise illness, whatever)
Judged on: The usual :) If anyone's unclear, go ahead and ask. Or look at previous contests.
Judge: Everyone! This will be the first voting contest!
Good luck!