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I tried to talk about with other Asexuals on AVEN the website about asexuality, for asexuals and allies. Can't say it made it better. Actually I felt even worse. More freaked out than ever
We have promised each other we will talk about it more.But today's not an option and tomorrow most likely also not. It's really scaring me
I feel really sad nowTruth is I got really attached. I don't get attached easily. Usually I don't get attached a lot. And I'm really afraid of the worst.
GR has the beautiful ability fall out when you need it least
I'm so pissed right now and sad. I've been so much hoping to talk to Hayden. But she her brother's been baned from going online just because he's an asshole
So, once again I've been overreacting yesterday. I'd really like to know what's wrong with me. I go from fine to totally upset so easily. Didn't happen so much before. Oh well
So, on friday we talked about sex and other things around it again, and it went much smoother this time. We are getting better at talking about anything. It's just that we are two worlds. She tried to explain sexual attraction and what does it arouses her about me, and I hardly understand still, and I think I never really will. Same when I tried to explain how it feels like to be ace. WHat do I think about? How do I see others?I feel like with math. SOmeone could try explain it to me, but I don't understand it. Or if can to work out the equation I only understand how to use a certain procedure, but not really the whole thing. For that I'd have to be a genius for math and get really into it. From the smallest beginnings to the really really hard stuff. Kinda the same with explaining this. Or has anyone a different opinion?
No, really, if you have a opinion to this I'd love to hear it!
I don't know why, but I started listening to music and started to think about getting hurt, hurting, and death.How bad is it that I sometimes think that this world would be better of without me?
Okay. A few days back I've been Skyping with my datefriend. It was all great. But when we finished we've been messaging for a while and she told me she felt aroused the whole time we've been talking, more than usual. After I read that I went cold and upset. I'm not fully sure why I went cold. Is it possible that it scared so much? (I'm asexual) But the reason I've. been all upset was my reaction. First I didn't understand. And secondly I started babbling. I simply overreacted. And that was the only thing wrong. She wanted only to confide, which is fine, I like to listen. But I freaked out, and that is what I'm really sorry about and wish I could change.