Introduction: Overwhelmed

[Briana]

Discussion Guide from Tonya

1. What does being productive mean to you?
Does productive mean getting alot of tasks crossed off your to-do list or does it mean doing work that satisfies you? How do you think your idea of productivity might change after reading this book?



2. Do you identify with any of these?

- overachiever - perfectionist - people pleaser - workaholic - idealist
- worrier - procrastinator - go getter - dreamer - realist - type A
- micromanager - conformist - validation seeker - taskmaster

How do you think that affects how you spend your day?



3. What did you think of Tonya’s definition of overwhelm? Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

“Overwhelm isn’t having too much to do, it’s not knowing where to start.”

How do you feel when you don’t know what to work on next or where to begin your day?



4. Have you witnessed “the glorification of busy” with your friends or coworkers? In what ways?



5. When you think of your ideal day, what is missing?

[Hazel]

1. Being productive, to me, means I have fufilled all of my obligations as wife, mom, God's kingdom, etc.

2. I probably identify with all of those depending on what role I am in. I am a taskmaker to myself, though not always to other people. I am not a micromanager.

3. Yeah, I guess. Though one of my best skills ( and the one I help my children, hubby, other people with) is taking something overwhelming and breaking it down to bite size achievable steps. For me, overwhelm was having too many people depending on me. ( During one decade I was raising/homeschooling the three kids, taking care of my dad who lived with us then close y/couldnt drive, taking care of my husband's grandmother/arranging care eventually memory care, my husband had burn-out and then a major health event that has caused him to be on disibility, my momm got breast cancer twice, his mom got breast cancer, my oldest hospitalized for depression, etc. Tons of smaller things that were hard but I wasn't responsible for. Now that I almost have an empty nest and many of those people have passed away, life feels so much less overwhelming to me. But being in my mid-fifties it seems a little late to try and figure out "what I want to be when I grow up." But I am.

4. Oh yes. I've definitely been guilty of this.

5. Fun was missing. With my husband finally retiring and kids almost gone, we are getting some fun back. I was missing my own goals and dreams, but over the last several years that is coming back. We all revolved around my husband's job, now we are revolving more around mine.

[Robin]

1. Productivity to me means feeling accomplished at the end of the day. Feeling like I made a difference.



2. All of these at different times in my life. Sometimes at different times throughout my day...
I think a lot of those are probably obstacles for me throughout the day. Spending too much on something that would work just find but I "need" to get it just perfect.


3. I totally agree with her statement. It's like being under water and not being able to figure out which way is up. So you start to panic even though the way out is just a few feet above you.

I also echo what Hazel said though about having too many people depend on her. I think I feel more overwhelm at times when I'm being pulled in so many directions that I feel like Gumby being stretched beyond my limits.


4. YES! I notice it so much more now that I've heard Tanya talk about it on her podcasts.



5. Me. I've been running kids around and taking care of everyone else for so long that I don't know who I am. My hobby's were being chauffeur to & fro and watching/being a cheerleader/pack mule for soccer, cross country, track, & theater.

Now I'm finding out who I am and what I like to do. I'm joining classes and trying new things. Things that I am interested in.

[Jennifer]

1. What does being productive mean to you?

Productivity to me means that I successfully complete the tasks that are required. I never really equated it to being satisfying. My thoughts my change after this book if I look at ALL the aspects of my life, not just my work life. I am intrigued by the possibility of expanding the idea of being productive to the rest of my life.

2. Do you identify with any of these? Check all that apply. How do you think that affects how you spend your day?

Perfectionist. People pleaser. Procrastinator. Go-getter.

Sometimes I am guilty of trying to please everyone else and I forget to find time doing the things I want. I also try to catch myself seeking perfection in a task. It’s really hard to let it go and I am guilty of gilding a lily. On the flip side I have waited until the last possible minute on tasks that are not my favorite ansi waste time trying to find the motivation to do them.

3. What do you think of Tonyas definition of overwhelm? Agree or disagree? How do you feel when you don’t know what to work on next or where to begin your day?

Agree wholeheartedly with her definition! When I don’t know where to begin I feel EXASPERATED! I have to physically MAKE myself have a brain dump at the end of each day so I know where to start.

4. Have you witnessed the “glorification of busy” with your friends or coworkers? In what ways?

Absolutely! Messy desks. Unnecessary stacks of paper. Inability to let completed tasks go. Verbal expressions of so much to do.

5. When you think of your ideal day, what is missing?

White space. Things that make me happy. Quiet. Reflection as a habit.

[Amanda]

1. Productivity to me is producing something tangible. I feel productive when what I've acomplished is noticable. A clean kitchen table, dinner made.
2. I'm probably a worrier and a realist.
3. I like Tonyas definition but think it should include something like when others or ourselves expect too much also that's where mine comed from.
4. I wouldn't say we glorify busy but I kind of get the point when I see how people act when I spent an afternoon reading or watching tv. I judge myself for those things too.
5. My ideal day is probably missing sleep and crafting as a mom of a newborn we're in survival mode now but I want to build to my ideal day as we get a routine.