Let's All Write STORIES!!! discussion

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message 1: by Rollie (new)

Rollie (zheick) FORBIDDEN WHISPER


Behind the normal rotation of the earth, there's a secret community where the people have their own special abilities.
Between their worlds there are societies who are creating hidden wars that cause visible mass destructions.
When Charmaine Steph Howell discovered that her blood line belongs to a secret society, she was ready then to hear more of the fact even if it causes her revenge.
Revenge for those people who bounded her life span even if it means a bad omen; fighting the man who saved her life more than she ever expected.




i need an advice if i really need to continue this one or not..please help.. i have my first six chapters of but i'm still hesitating if will continue this one...





message 2: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi the whole secret society thing - with invisible wars that cause visible destruction... Sounds kinda like the soul society. Have you ever read (or watched as it may be) Bleach by Tite Kubo?

other than that it sounds good. don't continue on it if you can't feel the story. But don't delete it either. Save it and maybe you'll be able to came back and finish it later.


message 3: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Definatly.


message 4: by Rollie (last edited Aug 25, 2009 07:46PM) (new)

Rollie (zheick) i haven't read it yet.. it's not a ghost story... lol.


message 5: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments I haven't either.


message 6: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi You obviously haven't read bleach if you think it's a ghost story, I admit it has ghosts in it though. LOL you guys might like it. it does have some cussing though if you read it online. in the officially translated ShoJo version the cussing is censored. mostly.


message 7: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments Ok. I think my friend has read it...


message 8: by Rollie (new)

Rollie (zheick) nonono... my story isn't about ghosts... i know little about "bleach" because it has a catoon version, right?


message 9: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi ya the cartoon was based off the comic. you'd think it'd be easy to get a story the same way when it's already written in pictures, but they still change it up a bunch!!


message 10: by Rollie (new)

Rollie (zheick) okay... i agree with you but the concept were all the same. :)


message 11: by Rollie (new)

Rollie (zheick) anyway, i already edited my manuscript. please comment
here' the link:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...


message 12: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi rollie, it sounds like a good story. Your writing is choppy though. That makes it hard to get the idea of what's really going on with Steph.


message 13: by Rollie (new)

Rollie (zheick) thanks a lot...


message 14: by Rollie (new)

Rollie (zheick) anyway,it might confused you because the chapter wasn't really complete...


message 15: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi the first & second chapters were complete though right?


message 16: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi I don't mean to be mean or anything, so don't take any criticism like that please. It's just so hard to convey what I'm saying without facial expression and tone of voice. it's amazing how much people can tell about what your saying just from those.


message 17: by Janeen-san (new)

Janeen-san  (misswannareadalot) | 855 comments I know!!


message 18: by Rollie (new)

Rollie (zheick) nope...they're all incomplete. all chapters were all incomplete.lol


message 19: by Rollie (new)

Rollie (zheick) i know too... it's just okay with me...
i accept any comment anayway..
thanks a million..


message 20: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi I can understand about them not being complete! My writing is the same way. I just write what ever comes to mind about the character and try to fit it to the story. I usually end up deleting and erasing a bunch.


message 21: by Rollie (last edited Sep 08, 2009 07:41PM) (new)

Rollie (zheick) yeah... i deleted some part but most it was been edited... i'll post the missing part soon..lol


message 22: by Koori no hi (new)

Koori no hi thanks!


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