Under One Roof: Lessons I Learned From a Tough Old Woman in a Little Old House by Barry Martin - 4 stars

[Ellen]

Barry Martin was the head of a construction crew that was to build a large mall on a lot in Ballard, Washington. Plans were going smoothly for the project except for one small glitch; an 84-year-old glitch named Edith Macefield. Edith's tiny house was in the way of the mall and no amount of money, (as much as one million dollars was offered), would make Edith abandon her home. The crew had no choice but to build around the little house. Barry Martin never pushed Edith to sell; instead he did everything he could to make the construction as unobtrusive as possible. He visited her regularly to make sure nothing was causing Edith trouble but it seemed all she needed was a ride to her hair appointment. That was the beginning of a tender relationship between Edith and Barry.

Edith was extremely feisty and not always the easiest person to get along with. Barry often found himself frustrated but he learned compassion and patience as Edith became more and more dependent on Barry's help. In time, Barry became Edith's caregiver and her advocate when social services insisted that she could not be trusted to live alone anymore. Once Edith became extremely ill she insisted that she wanted to die at home on her couch and Barry knew that day was not far off for his friend.

During his care of Edith, Barry's father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. The lessons he learned from Edith helped him cope with his father's declining health in a much more accepting way than he would have before. This is a great story of an unusual but uplifting friendship that could teach us all how to approach elder care and end of life decisions.