Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion

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April 2019 Microstory Contest - Comments Only

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message 1: by Jot (new)

Jot Russell | 1709 comments Mod
Theme: Activity around Phobos, the oddly low mass moon around Mars.
Element: Possible alien ship nearby.


message 2: by Kalifer (new)

Kalifer Deil | 359 comments I see C. Lloyd is first out of the gate with a good campfire story.


message 3: by Justin (new)

Justin Sewall | 1244 comments Good one C! Bummer to get all that way to Mars, only to be swallowed by a giant galactic grouper... :)


message 4: by C. (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments Yeah, it sucks to be moon bait. Lol


message 5: by Jot (new)

Jot Russell | 1709 comments Mod
I'd say that is science fiction :) Great meeting you and your wife C.


message 6: by C. (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments Thanks Jot! Back atcha. What a relief. . .


message 7: by Kalifer (new)

Kalifer Deil | 359 comments By campfire story I mean a story that leaves you hanging in one fashion or another and you can't sleep in your tent thinking about the story. What was it? What did they see? Where did it come from? How long was it there?


message 8: by Paula (last edited Apr 02, 2019 02:42AM) (new)

Paula | 1088 comments Yeah, and after that story, we'll be packing our tents straight down the trail to where there's too much light pollution for the fish to see us, I'd imagine. Brrrrr.
Nice writing, C. Lloyd!


message 9: by C. (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments Thanks guys. Hard science is fun, but a little terror is also fun. If you've ever seen a Japanese fighting fish take a brine shrimp you'll know what I was going for.


message 10: by C. (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments Nice one back atcha, Justin! It's fright-night in the theater-of-the-mind disco!

-C


message 11: by Justin (new)

Justin Sewall | 1244 comments Thanks C!! The word Phobos just screamed something about fear to me. Twenty Kwatloos to anyone who finds the 2010 movie reference. :)


message 12: by C. (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments Calling all non-recent contributors. . .

Here's your chance to titillate everyone's toenails with your Phobos terror tale of total toe-tag toting trepidation!

It's fright-night in Jot's theater-of-the-mind disco!

Whaaa ha ha ha ha ha

-C


message 13: by Justin (new)

Justin Sewall | 1244 comments C...what have you been drinking? :) LOL!


message 14: by Kalifer (last edited Apr 02, 2019 04:08PM) (new)

Kalifer Deil | 359 comments Justin, I had a similar reality switch in my "Bill's Plight" microstory a while back. I think good VR will actually make people believe they are there in that future. It could be far scarier than any roller coaster ride. Of course, the two could be combined to cause fatal scaring or serious mental scarring.


message 15: by Tom (new)

Tom Olbert | 1445 comments Justin wrote: "Thanks C!! The word Phobos just screamed something about fear to me. Twenty Kwatloos to anyone who finds the 2010 movie reference. :)"

"American bravery? Alive and well. Chinese common sense?" That was actually a book before it was a movie, and it was originally "Russian common sense" in question. Gee...20 Kwatloos doesn't spend like it used to, in the '60's.

Good story. 'Liked the ending.


message 16: by Justin (new)

Justin Sewall | 1244 comments Kalifer wrote: "Justin, I had a similar reality switch in my "Bill's Plight" microstory a while back. I think good VR will actually make people believe they are there in that future. It could be far scarier than a..."

As long as it doesn't make me motion sick... :)


message 17: by Justin (new)

Justin Sewall | 1244 comments Tom wrote: "Justin wrote: "Thanks C!! The word Phobos just screamed something about fear to me. Twenty Kwatloos to anyone who finds the 2010 movie reference. :)"

"American bravery? Alive and well. Chinese com..."


Yes! 20 kwatloos to you! I did change it from Russian to Chinese. I always liked that exchange, and the movie. Thing is, as a kid I saw 2010 before 2001, so some things didn't make sense. When I finally did watch 2001 a lot of things fell into place. Anyway, thanks for the feedback!


message 18: by Justin (last edited Apr 04, 2019 01:20PM) (new)

Justin Sewall | 1244 comments Hey C,

I hope my review of your story did not seem cheeky. My stories often fall below own hopes for them as well. The challenge of course being to serve a literary wine and steak on a Happy Meal budget. I was just sitting at work with some time on my hands, and I wanted to force myself to do a review and give some genuine feedback since I have not done so for quite a while.

I feel every time I create a story here, it forces me to work my brain to become a better writer. It's like my running. Not every run will be a personal record. Most are just "consistency runs" so I don't get out of shape. But when I do get a PR, it's definitely nice.

I hope you enjoy your cooking class! (says the man who made a double batch of lasagna hamburger helper last night to feed his slavering hordes of children since the head chef was out...)

Best,

Justin


message 19: by Tom (new)

Tom Olbert | 1445 comments You have a talent for metaphor, Justin.


message 20: by Tom (new)

Tom Olbert | 1445 comments Very well written critique, Justin, and excellent response, C.

(The first thing I was reminded of when the giant fish appeared was that scene in "Night Gallery" when they find out there's a giant mouse on the moon gobbling up astronauts. Like a darkly comedic irony.)


message 21: by Tom (new)

Tom Olbert | 1445 comments Justin wrote: "Tom wrote: "Justin wrote: "Thanks C!! The word Phobos just screamed something about fear to me. Twenty Kwatloos to anyone who finds the 2010 movie reference. :)"

"American bravery? Alive and well...."


You're welcome.

I first saw "2001" when it came out in theatres. I was just a child and couldn't make head or tail of it. As a teen, I read Marvel's comic adaptation and that explained it, so I could appreciate it later. It was a beautifully artistic film; almost like an abstract painting, a space-age ballet and opera rolled into one. Masterful use of sound, light and color.

"2010" just did not live up to the legacy in my opinion; not as book or film. Don't even get me started on "2069." Clarke should have left Kubrick's masterpiece alone.


message 22: by Justin (new)

Justin Sewall | 1244 comments Tom wrote: "You have a talent for metaphor, Justin."

Thanks Tom! Much appreciated!


message 23: by C. (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments Justin wrote: "Hey C,

I hope my review of your story did not seem cheeky. My stories often fall below own hopes for them as well. The challenge of course being to serve a literary wine and steak on a Happy Meal..."


I liked your "biting tale" description for my monster fish story. 'Twas a 2-fer. Nice.

-C


message 24: by Justin (new)

Justin Sewall | 1244 comments Thanks C!


message 25: by Jot (new)

Jot Russell | 1709 comments Mod
Welcome back Joseph.


message 26: by J.F. (new)

J.F. Williams | 371 comments Hey, thanks, Jot. Glad to be back. I forgot how tough it is to edit down to 750 words. The story I posted was originally 1200!


message 27: by Timothy (new)

Timothy | 21 comments Mine's up and I will now begin reading. Hopefully I can keep up this month.


message 28: by C. (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments Tough room this month. Lol


message 29: by Kalifer (new)

Kalifer Deil | 359 comments Mine's up.

I tried a few things like getting a Russian accent by dropping to-be verbs and articles where it didn't mess up meaning. Did a little investigation into Russian humor to get the sense of it.

Russia has had much bad luck with Mars so I threw a bit more salt into that wound.


message 30: by J.F. (new)

J.F. Williams | 371 comments Haven't read your story yet, Kalifer, but your comment reminded me of this terrific resource for writers called the IDEA, or International Dialects in English Archive. It has samples of actual speech from around the world with transcripts and sometimes commentary. It is very useful in evoking a dialect through word choice and syntax.
http://www.dialectsarchive.com/globalmap


message 31: by Tom (new)

Tom Olbert | 1445 comments Kalifer wrote: "Mine's up.

I tried a few things like getting a Russian accent by dropping to-be verbs and articles where it didn't mess up meaning. Did a little investigation into Russian humor to get the sense ..."


Good story, Kalifer. Sad, but spectacular. A very inventive idea.


message 32: by C. (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments J.F. wrote: "Haven't read your story yet, Kalifer, but your comment reminded me of this terrific resource for writers called the IDEA, or International Dialects in English Archive. It has samples of actual spee..."

Another resource for Russian accent: Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, otherwise known as "Moose and Squirrel."
Video demo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHqy-...


message 33: by C. (last edited Apr 15, 2019 09:20AM) (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments Tom wrote: "Kalifer wrote: "Mine's up.

I tried a few things like getting a Russian accent by dropping to-be verbs and articles where it didn't mess up meaning. Did a little investigation into Russian humor t..."


Yes. They left a bad impression on Mars. : D


message 34: by Jot (new)

Jot Russell | 1709 comments Mod
Mine's up. Based again on characters from Terra Forma.


message 35: by C. (last edited Apr 15, 2019 09:36AM) (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments Yee haw, Jot!

Wrassle that doggie to the ground and tie it's legs with a fast knot and a grin!

-C


message 36: by C. (last edited Apr 15, 2019 09:39AM) (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments I expect Justin will say this is just one of your everyday, typical space probe punchin' stories. . .

: )


message 37: by Kalifer (new)

Kalifer Deil | 359 comments J.F. wrote: "Haven't read your story yet, Kalifer, but your comment reminded me of this terrific resource for writers called the IDEA, or International Dialects in English Archive. It has samples of actual spee..."

Thanks for the tip. I will use this resource in the future.


message 38: by Justin (new)

Justin Sewall | 1244 comments Hey Jot,

This is just one of your everyday, typical space probe punchin' stories. . .

;)


message 39: by C. (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments Ha ha ha!


message 40: by Jot (new)

Jot Russell | 1709 comments Mod
Nice, those are the most poetic complements I have ever received.

Now I just need to find a few minutes to read the others. Good luck to all!


message 41: by C. (new)

C. Lloyd Preville (clpreville) | 737 comments Jot,

You been typi-schooled.

-C.


message 42: by Chris (new)

Chris Nance | 536 comments Mine's up. Went a little different direction, so I hope it works. :)


message 43: by Jot (new)

Jot Russell | 1709 comments Mod
Apologies for the blunt critiques. I'm not the best of readers, due perhaps to my weak eyes and memory, but we are here to learn how different people perceive our work in an effort to sell more books. Please be blunt with me, because I mull over every word, but am still learning how to be a better muller...beuller?


message 44: by Justin (new)

Justin Sewall | 1244 comments Jot wrote: "Apologies for the blunt critiques. I'm not the best of readers, due perhaps to my weak eyes and memory, but we are here to learn how different people perceive our work in an effort to sell more boo..."

A sharp knife cuts quickest and hurts the least.

Also, "The slow blade penetrates the shield."

Thanks Jot!


message 45: by Tom (new)

Tom Olbert | 1445 comments Chris wrote: "Mine's up. Went a little different direction, so I hope it works. :)"

'Loved it, Chris. Phil Dunphy in outer space. Very nice. Also reminded me of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."


message 46: by Chris (new)

Chris Nance | 536 comments Tom wrote: "Chris wrote: "Mine's up. Went a little different direction, so I hope it works. :)"

'Loved it, Chris. Phil Dunphy in outer space. Very nice. Also reminded me of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.""


Thanks, Tom! :)


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