Support for Indie Authors discussion
Blurb Workshop
>
Blurb Help - YA ghost/paranormal, Lost in the Shadows
date
newest »
newest »
I think it’s beautiful, but it should probably be cut down to 1/4 of the total content.
It may be long, but never once I found myself wanted to stop reading. In fact, it pulled me in and I wanted to know more. I am not a witch fan so that might make me hesitate but it is not the blurb fault, it's a taste. And it's good that you put it in there so people might have an idea of what's in the book... I am sorry I can't help but I love the blurb the way it is. Good job!
I really like your blurb, but I agree - it is probably a bit long for what it is. I tried to cut it down a bit (from 189 to 140 words), you'll see my suggestions below. Please forgive me if I added something horrendously stupid, it is 02:00 in the morning and I really need to sleep :D ______________________________
It's not uncommon for people to go missing in a vast and wild place like Alaska. But in a forest south of Juneau, it seems to happen more often than usual.
'Don't go hiking in the woods around Shadow Creek,' is a hundred-year-old saying in the small town of Kane. Because if ever a place deserves its name, Shadow Creek does. The trees grow tall and thick, casting the forest into deep gloom.
Everyone in town knows the story of the Witch of Shadow Creek, although few suspect it's anything more than "just a story."
When Jack Strader and his dad move from California to reopen the Shadow Creek Lodge, they're just looking for a change. But Jack's about to find out that Shadow Creek is a place where the border between this world and the next is sometimes thin.
Thank you so much Leah, G.G., and Jannik! The 2/3 consensus seems to be that it could be shortened some. It’s kind of hard to know which plot points are useful in the blurb and which can be left out, but does this sound better?________________________
It's not uncommon for people to go missing in a vast and wild place like Alaska. But in a rainy forest just south of Juneau, it seems to happen more often than usual.
The dense woods around Shadow Creek are beautiful and tempting, but there's also something menacing about them. Everyone in the nearby town knows the story of the Witch of Shadow Creek, although few suspect it's anything more than "just a story."
When Jack Strader and his dad move from California to reopen the Shadow Creek Lodge after a family tragedy, they're just looking for a change. But Jack's about to find out that Shadow Creek is a place where the border between this world and the next is sometimes thin.
J.S., I think that’s even better. Sometimes less makes you want to know more, and I think that’s just enough. You can still smooth out transitions and polish with what you have if needed.
Yes! I like this version too. Brings across the same 'feel' in a much more concise fashion.
______________________________
It's not uncommon for people to go missing in a vast and wild place like Alaska. But in a rainy forest just south of Juneau, it seems to happen more often than usual.
'Don't go hiking in the woods around Shadow Creek.' That's what parents in the small town of Kane have told their teenagers for nearly a hundred years. Because if ever a place deserves its name, Shadow Creek does. The trees grow taller and closer together than elsewhere, casting the forest into deep gloom. Ferns and shrubs seem to swallow trails and mosses cover everything else.
Shadow Creek is a beautiful and tempting place, but there's also something menacing about it. Everyone in town knows the story of the Witch of Shadow Creek, although few suspect it's anything more than "just a story."
When Jack Strader and his dad move from California to reopen the Shadow Creek Lodge, they're just looking for a change – a change of scenery, and a change of pace. But Jack's about to find out that Shadow Creek is a place where the border between this world and the next is sometimes thin.