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Worst excuses for not reading?
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Trike
(last edited Mar 10, 2019 10:59AM)
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Mar 10, 2019 10:59AM
I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation like that, other than from my dad who helpfully suggested, “Get off your dead ass and stop reading those damn books.”
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This is why audiobooks are exploding. Everyone is working way to hard, But at least an audiobook can help during the workout, the commune, and the whatever takes a chunk of your day.
Some people are readers, some are not. I like my book reading people. If others don't participate in that, well, they are not my people. Let them talk sports or whatever floats their boat.
I got annoyed with one of my friends who claimed he didn’t have any time for reading - and then confessed he’d binged the whole of Daredevil in one weekend.
Mod
I've never had anyone tell me I shouldn't read.
The worst experience I've had was when, at 17, I tried to tell my mother about this great book I'd just read (Lord of the Rings).
She just said "aren't you a bit old for fairy stories". It was the last time I tried to share my reading experiences with her.
I’ve never had anyone disparage my reading habits. If anything, most people admire it. I have a friend who used to read when we were in high school but hasn’t read since because law school burned all enjoyment out of it for him (understandable).
Fortunately for me, most of my family can be found with their noses in books at least some of the time. The last friends I had who weren't readers were my long time childhood friends from proximity and parental connections, and we had long since accepted that some things baffled us about each other in both directions, so those conversations stopped happening long before we became adults. I have had strangers assume that reading in public meant I was dying of boredom and they needed to rescue me. If I'm lucky, polite comments head them off - about how I've been waiting for this perfect chance to settle into the peace and quiet of the book during a wait/travel/whatever they're interrupting. Doesn't work nearly often enough.
There also was a recent time where some co-workers were talking books in the lunch area, and another co-worker (who wasn't sitting with them or involved in the conversation other than happening to be in earshot) started loudly talking over them about he never read once he was out of school, blah, blah, blah. Just kept going on and on right over top of them. He's the sort of person who needs every conversation to be about him in some way, it's exhausting just to be in the same room with him.
I've had a few people tell me they are very slow readers (one friend has been working on a 300 page book, reading every day for over a month) and they feel like it's a lot of time and effort for a small payoff. I tell everyone I know about how great audiobooks are, and I've successfully turned a couple of slow readers into audiobook listeners.
Any excuse is trying to offset shame; they either feel bad for not reading, or think you will think they are bad for not reading. I can't think of any excuses people have used with me, beyond a lack of time, because I don't make people feel bad for not being readers.
Mod
Finding S&L and Goodreads really rekindled (and kicked into overdrive) my reading again.
I personally don't worry/care about if other people read, but I have recommended audio to people who "don't have time". I know some of my friends are exclusively audio because they want to keep reading, but can't seem to fit it it otherwise.
I think it inevitably comes down to how much you care. Also, apparently there are really stupid/presumptuous people around you..
Yeah, I know people who read less than me or nothing at all and while I find it curious I just assume that their priorities differ from mine, no harm done.When I hear excuses it's usually that they don't find the time, but honestly there are only so many hours in the day and it's perfectly okay if they'd rather spend their free time watching TV shows or sportsing or whatever you have. People enjoy different things, so what?
I've had to give up reading for pleasure when I was in college. It was either read for pleasure or do school work - I wasn't good prioritizing/balancing/doing both (ok, I just wouldn't do the school stuff if I had a book to read). I did get around this once by taking an elective class called "The Novel" where we basically read 5 or 6 novels over the course of the semester ;-)
The older I get the more I understand the "I don't have time" excuse. The mental effort of binge watching a TV show is so much lower then reading a book, and that isn't to say that TV can't be mentally engaging or that books can't be brain candy but they are different in that one is passive and one is active. I can sit down and just let the TV stream into my brain with little effort on my part, whereas I have to actively read a book. Audio books are different, in that they fall into the passive entertainment and that's probably why they're seeing a rise. When you're tired from work or other life requirements the easier it is to just let yourself be passively entertained instead of actively entertaining yourself (and that's with whatever limited time you have for entertainment). I find that the amount of time I spend reading drops significantly when work gets more stressful. It's a little weird because books are one of my stress reliefs, but when I'm just exhausted from work related stress all I want is something easy to help me relax and passive entertainment (like binge watching an entire season of TV over a weekend) does that. So I think the complaint may not be that people don't have the time to read as they don't have the mental energy, and that gets slotted into 'time' because "I don't have time" is easier to parse then "I don't have the mental energy to be active when I'm relieving the stress of my workday and seeking entertainment". So I'm sympathetic.
Audio books are a great way to get people who have that complaint to read more because it is far less active. I've often wished that audio books worked better for me, but I'm not the best with audio learning and so I often miss things with audio books.
That said, people who are proud that they haven't picked up a book since they left school make me sad.
I think my favorite story on this topic comes from an old ex-boyfriend of mine who was not a reader. A new ASOIAF book had come out and I told him I just really wanted to stay in and read my book on my day off instead of meeting him for lunch. Over 4 hours I got 6 phone calls and a surprise visit. He just couldn't understand me wanting to just read so thought I was cheating on him. The next week he proudly brought me a bunch of People and Star magazines because he said he knew I like to read.
The relationship didn't last much longer after that.
Other people in my life who don't read and know that I love to read just refer to it as my particular quirk and happily listen with one ear when I talk about a particularly good book.
Even if I am busy I try to carve out an hour before bed to read.
@Aeryn98That's an amazing story. You want to read? Who does that? You must be cheating!
I had someone say once they didn't read very often anymore because "they'd read everything." That was probably the comment that sent me most into a rage-spiral. Don't have time, fine, I get it, we prioritize things. Don't like books, sad but fine--I rarely watch TV or movies which a lot of other people think is weird.But you've read EVERYTHING?? So much so that you needed to stop reading and what, wait for the next season of books so you could binge it all then?
Aeryn98 wrote: "The next week he proudly brought me a bunch of People and Star magazines because he said he knew I like to read."Actual LOL.
I know. sighI grew up in a family who all liked to read any chance they got. On family vacations it was always, don't forget a sweater...and where's your book. Out in the wide world I keep looking for people carrying books around with them like we did.
Anyway, most of my friends say they can't read because it makes them tired. But a lot of them have been turned on to audiobooks as other people have said.
I'm a carpenter, and I always read on my breaks at work. This has actually caused rifts between some of my crew members and myself on certain jobs. There are a lot of guys in the construction industry who have a bit of a complex about reading, for whatever reason. Some guys have gotten almost hostile with me over it.I don't really get it. It's not like I'm trying to sell them on reading as a hobby, or even trying to talk to them about it usually. Some people just seem to feel threatened by the fact that someone enjoys something they don't, I guess. I suppose they'd prefer if I sat there quietly listening to their shitty drinking or hockey stories. Whatever.
But yeah, always with the excuses. Usually it's the "I'm too busy" excuse, but I shut that one down pretty quickly these days by responding that I have a wife and 3 kids and I'm in 2 bands, so don't tell me how busy you are. Just say you don't like to read. It's fine, I really don't care. Some of the sports enthusiasts will tell me they prefer to do something active, which, sure, okay (although in the next breath they'll be talking about what they've binge-watched on Netflix lately). Often I'll hear some anecdote about a negative reading experience from school years, usually from someone in their late 30s to early 40s. I usually don't engage with that one, but it seems like a pretty flimsy excuse to me.
Keep in mind that I'm never the one to start these conversations. I'd rather just read my book.
I know people who work 12-14 hour work days. I know people who get home from work and they have 2 hours to eat, relax, spend time with their families, etc before they have to go to sleep and do the whole thing again the next day. As someone who's been there, I get the "I have no time" excuse.
Reading is a luxury. It's an important and rewarding activity but still a luxury. Have empathy for those who can't fit it into their schedules and for those who pretend they can't. There's usually a story there.
I really dont have people around me who judge my reading. I get a lot of people interrupting my reading but I'm never sure whether it's because they think I'm bored/lonely or because they are. People do judge my book buying habits (which is admittedly way out of proportion to my budget) but that's another issue.
Reading is a luxury. It's an important and rewarding activity but still a luxury. Have empathy for those who can't fit it into their schedules and for those who pretend they can't. There's usually a story there.
I really dont have people around me who judge my reading. I get a lot of people interrupting my reading but I'm never sure whether it's because they think I'm bored/lonely or because they are. People do judge my book buying habits (which is admittedly way out of proportion to my budget) but that's another issue.
I’ve been lucky enough in life that I really haven’t had this happen to me. But as I think about it, that could be more about how and where I’ve chosen to be a reader. I don’t believe it was intentional (although it might have been a way to fit in more), but I’ve always been more of a private reader. When reading fiction I like to get engrossed in what I’m reading, and I have a tough time doing that in short spans, or when in public. The exception being when traveling on mass transportation (plane, train, or bus). Because of this I’m rarely in a spot where some one can question my reading. I honestly was always surprised a bit by those that could enjoy reading in short spurts, like waiting in line, or even during a short work break, because I always wanted to be aware of what was going on around me. Thanks for bringing up a great, and interesting topic to discus.
Mod
You'd be more outraged if you were Australian.
People magazine here is a lads magazine featuring naked women and questionable content.
The magazine you know as "People" is called "Who" here.
Mod
We over analyzed the shit out of that. None of which I remember. Thankfully when I bought Lord of the Rings in college it came with the hobbit and I decided to reread it again.
I will say I can understand why school turns some people off of reading. Some teachers I've had make it out like you have to spend time deep in thought rather than just enjoying yourself.
Now as an adult I enjoy talking about books, but that's not always for everyone.
The universal excuse I hear is not having time. I definitely took a break from pleasure reading while in law school and in my first few years of practice. And still I can’t read any legal books regardless of whether it’s fiction or non fiction. But I’m finding SFF gives me the right amount of brain activity to recharge regardless of how much I’ve been reading at work.
I have a friend like that who she tells me when she was younger she read all the time, every day now since I have known her these past 5 1/2 years she's finished a handful of books if that. She works and has 2 kids but still manages to play a gazillion facebook games and non stop scrolling and texting people She's always like I have no time. And I keep on saying you just need to manage your time. Like instead of farmville or whatever is called or mindless fb scrolling read a chapter.
My mom is kind of like that. She used to be a voracious reader then went back to school for nursing at age 50 and hasn't really read since but boy does she have time to scroll through twitter and binge Netflix. Then she complains about it. "I've been reading the same Washington biography for months. I'll never finish." *eyeroll*
I think it's great that there are so many here in this forum who find reading relaxing (I mean, that makes sense as Goodreads is all about books right?) but there are many people for whom it just isn't. And I don't judge people who use facebook or instagram or mindless games as their got to in order to de-stress themselves, it's something I've done for sure. Books aren't always easy, the better ones are supposed to challenge us and sometimes even the easy ones can cause stress because of their subject matter. My enjoyment of dystopian YA (which does tend towards the brain candy side of reading) has gone WAY, WAY down in the past couple of years, for example. "I dont' have time" is much easier to parse then "I cannot find a book that helps me unwind in the way that facebook does". So while a person may enjoy reading, their needs for relaxation might not be met by books at the moment, and that's ok.
"Don't have time" is almost universally a lie. Query those people and you find them spending time doing something else. Like a few of you, I wish they'd just say they'd rather watch TV or don't like reading or whatever but don't BS me with such a transparently false excuse. Even funnier are the people who say they don't have time then do audiobooks. Uh... audiobooks are almost always much longer time investments than print.
You know, as an author, I'm doubly ashamed when I don't make time to read.I have the disadvantage of being distracted by too many things. Video games are my primary distraction, but then I get distracted with my own ideas for books and end up writing instead of reading.
My reading was pretty much at an all-time high when I had to ride the train into NYC everyday for work. Once I stopped riding the train, it became harder and harder to read. I've gotten so many books to 50% completion and then I just stop for some reason.
I really have to put more effort into dedicating myself to reading. I have several books that I can't wait to dive into, but I haven't started because I want to make sure I can finish them all the way.
(Though I'll always make time for beta reads because those have a sense of urgency. If it's not urgent, other things will top my priority list.)
When I worked as an editor and proofreader, I almost never read for pleasure. After 8-10 hours a day reading, that part of my brain was wiped out.
Rick wrote: ""Don't have time" is almost universally a lie. Query those people and you find them spending time doing something else. Like a few of you, I wish they'd just say they'd rather watch TV or don't lik... ...Even funnier are the people who say they don't have time then do audiobooks. Uh... audiobooks are almost always much longer time investments than print.Ah, but you can listen to an audiobook whilst also doing something else!
I listen to a load of audiobooks while doing things like shopping and household chores.
Ruth wrote: "Rick wrote: ""Don't have time" is almost universally a lie. Query those people and you find them spending time doing something else. Like a few of you, I wish they'd just say they'd rather watch TV..."This! An audiobook may take a longer time than I could probably read the print book in, but I can listen to the audio while doing other things. I listen during my driving commute, I listen while I'm running, I listen while I'm cleaning around the house. These are all times when I would not be able to read a print book, so in reality the longer audio book will take me way fewer days to finish.
Jordan wrote: "Ruth wrote: "Rick wrote: ""Don't have time" is almost universally a lie. Query those people and you find them spending time doing something else. Like a few of you, I wish they'd just say they'd ra..."Listening to an audio book while . . . huh. I never really thought of that! I know it seems like common sense but I am so used to being a reader that I never thought about how versatile an audio book could be.
I may have to consider checking out audio books one of these days.
Wilmar wrote: "Jordan wrote: "Ruth wrote: "Rick wrote: ""Don't have time" is almost universally a lie. Query those people and you find them spending time doing something else. Like a few of you, I wish they'd jus..."Yup I always listen to Audiobooks while doing something else, just like how I watch TV and do something else. Work, dishes, video games, whatever I want to do.
As long as I don’t need to read something else, write something, or pay attention to someone talking, I’m usually listening to an audiobook. Driving, working, cooking, doing chores, walking somewhere, sometimes shopping if the store isn’t too loud.
Mod
No way could I listen to an audiobook and play video games :-?
I could concentrate on 1, not both.
Tassie Dave wrote: "Tracey wrote: "Yup I always listen to Audiobooks while doing something else, just like how I watch TV and do something else. Work, dishes, video games, whatever I want to do. "No way could I listen to an audiobook and play video games"
I listen to audiobooks while playing mobile games on my iPad. I couldn’t with an RPG.
Mod
Yeah, I suppose it does depend on the game.
I usually play games like Assassin's Creed, Resident Evil, Tomb Raider & Red Dead Redemption etc which are story & character driven and required my full attention.
Yeah, I like to team a repetative task style game with audio - I find it easier to focus that way. These days, I don't have time for audio books though, as I am hooked on too many podcasts. And go easy on folk saying they don't have time - it always means they are using their time differently, so just interpret it that way. I don't have time for most things I enjoy because there are lots of things out there to enjoy and I can't do it all - I don't have time.
Yeah, I listen to audiobooks while playing stupid mobile games or maybe it's the other way round and I play stupid mobile games while listening to audiobooks. A lot of other things take too much concentration and my thoughts tend to wander. And when I'm in bed I usually fall asleep within five minutes so that doesn't work either.
Some of the people who are saying they don't have time to read are likely ashamed they are not functionally literate. It's commonplace to say one is bad at math, but people who struggle with reading are not likely to tell the truth about it.
Caitlin wrote: "Some of the people who are saying they don't have time to read are likely ashamed they are not functionally literate."I don't know, can we maybe just agree that people enjoy different things to different extents and have other priorities regarding how they spend their free time that they really don't have time to read.
I mean you can always argue that "I don't have to time to read" means that you don't care enough to make time to read, but where's the difference really. If your schedule is full with stuff you deem more important then you actually really don't have time to read, case closed.
Anne wrote: "I don't know, can we maybe just agree that people enjoy different things to different extents and have other priorities regarding how they spend their free time that they really don't have time to read."That's why I said some and not all. I thought the point you're making here was self-evident.
Mod
Which is a shame because reading is a great way to improve.
Tassie Dave wrote: "Trike wrote: "I listen to audiobooks while playing mobile games on my iPad. I couldn’t with an RPG."Yeah, I suppose it does depend on the game.
I usually play games like Assassin's Creed, Reside..."
Microsoft just announced that they will be releasing the entire Halo series on PC. If I succumb to that, I won’t read a book for two years. I had to sell my copy of Halo 1 in order to get my life back. It was the first time I ever experienced something akin to addiction.
Trike wrote: "When I worked as an editor and proofreader, I almost never read for pleasure. After 8-10 hours a day reading, that part of my brain was wiped out."That is why I won't try to turn a hobby into a job.
Trike wrote: "When I worked as an editor and proofreader, I almost never read for pleasure. After 8-10 hours a day reading, that part of my brain was wiped out."Yep. When I'm in the "paperwork" phase of my programs, I'm reading hundreds of pages of technical stuff a day - usually on a computer screen. It can be really hard to read anything after a day like that.
I never really discuss reading with people who don't read because I can't quite wrap my brain around living without books. No one ever made any negative comments to me about reading. In fact, one of my teachers once caught me reading in class and told me that whatever I miss in the classroom I'll probably get from books anyway so to just go ahead :)I did go through a bit of a dry spell when my twins where born and I couldn't read much because every time I had a break to sit and read I would fall asleep after a page or two. I actually had to go back to paper books because I broke two readers after falling asleep and dropping them on the floor.
Thankfully, that's all over now. Back to full swing. Except that I'm less forgiving to boring books. I Lem them a lot faster than I used to.
Someone once told me she stopped reading after kids because if she picked up a novel she wouldn't put it down until the end. At which point she would be exhausted from being up all night and all the housework/ kid stuff would be undone. Which is reasonable I guess?
