Practical Tips

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

Whether you are an astronaut light years from Terra, crash-landed due to a faulty exso-drive or a dragon slayer on a quest to save an echanted princess, it's all about practicality!

As a group which deals with all thing sci-fi and fantasy we feel it's our duty to equip our members with whatever survival tools they might need, no matter what universe, time, space or anywhere in between they find themselves in.

Post in this thread your practical tips!

Example:
Don't fire laser into a mirror.

*side note*
Members are also encouraged to use this thread for troubleshooting, feel free to ask your fellow members for an advice!

Example:
Can someone help me find my dragon?

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

I will kick off with:

Remove cloak of invisibility before shaving.

[Oleksandr, a.k.a. Acorn]

Don't try to accelerate when you reached speed of light. In our space-time continuum anyway

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

"Leave anal probing to aliens"

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

"Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex," stolen from Larry Niven (think about it)

[Oleksandr, a.k.a. Acorn]

Kateblue wrote: ""Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex," stolen from Larry Niven (think about it)"

Is it from his essay on how to have a Superman's baby? It was hilarious!

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

It's not just about that, but it's about all kinds of things that we never thought about problems Superman might have. It is hysterical. But yes. And the title of the piece is what I put above. It's in a group of stories called "Convergent Series," I think

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

No, I was wrong. "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex," is in a book of short pieces called "All the Myriad Ways"(1971)

[Antti]

For those who have not read Man of Steel, Women if Kleenex, the text is available online

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

thanks!

[Oleksandr, a.k.a. Acorn]

Do play with radioactive items/creatures, it will only give you superpowers - A whole lot of DC/Marvel heroes of the 60s

[Bryan, Village Idiot]

Don't make eye contact with ghosts, they take it as flirtation and won't leave you alone.

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

Whenever you find yourself orbiting earth, beware of two things: space debris and corpse of George Clooney.

[Robin]

Never step on a butterfly. There is a strong correlation to the rise of fascists, and potentially to the death of your true soulmate. I do feel sorry for whoever stepped on the current causal butterfly. At least your soulmate isn’t living through this age.

[Benny]

When travelling threw a manmade wormhole never, but never forget your thrusty and reliable Swiss army knive!

[Yvonne]

Pack your towel first, because if you have a towel, aliens will loan you almost anything because you must have just misplaced it, I mean, you have a towel so the logic follows.

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

If you ever land a job of a monarch make sure your number two is a tall, pale fella with cheerful disposition of an undertaker.

[David]

Don't ever, EVER look the Shrike in the eye. (Dan Simmon's Hyperion)

[Antti]

Remember: the enemy's gate is down.

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

Forgive the plagiarism, but:

“Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

[Oleksandr, a.k.a. Acorn]

Spring in coming! :)

[David]

Hahaha...

[David]

Good thing my wife has a tender spot for cripples, bastards, and broken things.

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

I'm compiling a recipe book for trolls, I need an advice on how one cooks a hobbit. Anyone?

[David]

You can eat them raw, or roast them with wild herbs...but make sure you consume them before dawn!

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

Art, make sure you skin their feet first

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

was that too gross? I can delete it.

[David]

No, that's all in good fun. (In my opinion...I'm not a moderator) :)

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

Kateblue wrote: "was that too gross? I can delete it."

Chomping on hairy feet is gross!

David wrote; "No, that's all in good fun. (In my opinion...I'm not a moderator) :)"

David is right and you can trust his moral compass, the chap has a skull for avatar!

[David]

My sentiments exactly! :)

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

"Beware of alien octopuses, they can talk you in circles!"

[mentioning of Sapir-Whorf hypothesis was to me the only redeeming quality of that movie]

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

Make sure the rabbits don't get loose in the hydroponic/air-production garden.

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

If you think you might end up crawling through the Jefferies tubes, take kneepads.

[Oleksandr, a.k.a. Acorn]

Let the sleeping Cthulhu lie

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

When raising a griffin make sure you stock up on plenty of bird seed and rodents and have a VERY large litter box.

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

The babblefish is for your ear, stupid, not for dinner!

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

If you're flying to Neverland, abandon your metal belongings so you don't show up on radar.

[Bryan, Village Idiot]

If you find yourself in a dark cave with a sleeping dragon a top a pile of gold...Just remember: "Act with speed, not greed!"

[David]

If a person is going to plaster their body with Sandtrout, at least remember to be kind to your genetically engineered clones in 1000 years. Be kind :)

[Antti]

Do not turn yourself into a mouse. It ends poorly.

[Allan]

Rabbits in the garden make me think of The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (Wallace & Gromit). Is that sci-fi? What about "A Grand Day Out"? It IS a trip to the moon, after all.

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

On A Grand Day Out, leave the robot vending machine alone.

[David]

Also, be kind to sentient robots. It may rule the galaxy in another 40-50000 years.

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

Upon vanquishing a horned menacing being who can shroud itself in fire, darkness, and shadow and is armed with a fiery whip... be vigilant and hold that victory dance until it's actually dead!

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

Make sure the tip of your nose isn't itchy before you cast a "Stone Skin" spell over your body.

[Oleksandr, a.k.a. Acorn]

Don't ask Jerry Lee Lewis to incinerate your enemies with a fireball, for he'll sing instead Great Balls of Fire

[Kateblue, 2nd star to the right and straight on til morning]

According to "The Manual of the Friendly Desert," when turning a sandworm in a small circle, watch out for centrifugal force. Hold on tight!

[Victor]

Alcohol and Tribbles: know your limit! One is often enough.

[Art, Stay home, stay safe.]

Stock up on deodorant before raising an undead army through means of Necromancy. Serious B.O. can distract you from the goal of total world domination.

[Antti]

Never read aloud any weird books (written in something that might be blood) you find in cellars of old mansions, archaeological sites, abandoned (and according to rumour, cursed) libraries, or the like.

Actually, to be on the safe side, never read aloud any weird books. To be doubly-sure, avoid reading aloud in general.