Year-long NaNo discussion
Jes Drew
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Agents Adam and Eve (Kristian Clark 3)
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I still need to read the first one, but this sounds really exciting, Jes!
Thanks, guys. I think I have 8 more chapters to go and then editing.
Thanks, guys. I have 8 more chapters to go and then on to editing.
Jes wrote: "Thanks, guys. I have 8 more chapters to go and then on to editing."Hooray, Jes!
Here's an excerpt from Chapter Twenty-Six, from the point of view of the leading lady's foil and right hand woman, Rhyan and an interaction with Kristian's foil that pretty much defines the relationship between both couples. Note that I took the leading lady's name out of the scene for spoiler issues:I don’t even have to look up smack my hand into the man’s nose.
He cries out, but I don’t stop. My elbow goes for his neck and then I whirl around and kick him in the gut.
He collapses, and I stare down at the moaning creature. Once upon a time, I felt empathy for others’ pain, I think. Now I can’t even muster up regret.
Except… She would be so upset. The only woman who cares about me. Not that I have no emotions- she understand that it’s not my fault. But she’d be upset I let my lack of emotions lead me to be so brutal.
“E-3, we have visual.”
I glance down and find a gun in walkie talkie protruding from my victim’s pocket. Frowning, I bend down and pull it out.
He moans and tries to grab at it, but then I pull his revolver out of his holster and bring the butt of it down on his head. He goes still.
“Two prisoners conformed,” the walkie adds. “Hamilton the III has also been confirmed. Appears to be the perpetrator. We’re taking the left flank. You take right. Roger?”
I pocket the walkie before rushing around the building.
Sure enough, I see the backs of two men coming round it too, their backs to me.
She wouldn’t want me to shoot until we were sure they were guilty. Okay, so she wouldn’t want me to shoot at all, but she’s not exactly a strict pacifist anymore either.
And I kind of want to see where Allen’s little rescue thing goes.
The men move their matching coats aside and grab guns from their holsters.
Tried and found guilty. And I’m the executioner.
She doesn’t mind my attacking from behind- she says a lady deserves to take a little advantage. And I never feel like fighting fair anyway.
I aim the stolen gun at one of the men and fire.
The one on the left yowls, grabs his thigh, and crumples to the ground. His companion whirls around just in time to see me fire at him.
And collapse just as I do, revealing Allen on the other side of him, holding a tranquilizer gun. And then his hand goes to his own thigh.
He looks up, startled. And then- “Seriously, Rhyan. You shot me?!”
Oops.
Jes wrote: "Here's an excerpt from Chapter Twenty-Six, from the point of view of the leading lady's foil and right hand woman, Rhyan and an interaction with Kristian's foil that pretty much defines the relatio..."*Gasp!* Rhyan shot one of her own! Umm, somehow I don't think the head lady will like this too much.... Especially since she shot Allen, the guy who they were trying to rescue! Love it, Jes!
Thank you! Though, I'm not completely sure if the lead lady actually ever finds out- she's about to face a terrible mistake of her own.
Jes wrote: "Thank you! Though, I'm not completely sure if the lead lady actually ever finds out- she's about to face a terrible mistake of her own."No problem. She doesn't? Umm, somehow with her going to face a terrible mistake of her own and never knowing what Rhyan has done, I umm, I have a bad feeling about this. XD That is, of course, if the lead lady is a good guy.
From a certain point of view. She has very good motives and very bad means.
Here's an excerpt from Chapter Twenty-Nine through the POV of Kristian in a dream state:“Kristian.”
I whirl around and see a rustling of trees, but see no one.
“Kristian, my son, you were born to love and raised in dignity. They will try to steal those from you.”
Turning again, I at last find myself facing my father’s smiling face from his stature still so tall compared to me as when I was eleven even though it’s been so long. “Dad-”
“They will try to steal you. From you. If they succeed-”
I cross my arms. “They will not.”
“If they succeed and steal your humanity, you will lose your concern for other humans. If they succeed-”
I step toward him, reaching for him, like when I was a boy. “Stop saying they’ll succeed.”
“If they succeed, you must find a way to remember who you were born to be, who you were created to be, who you were called to be.”
“Dad-” I reach for him, but he’s gone.
And I’m once again alone in the woods that seek to correct me somehow and some way. But being alone isn’t what scares me.
It’s the not knowing exactly they’ll try to kill me here that terrifies me.
Jes wrote: "Here's an excerpt from Chapter Twenty-Nine through the POV of Kristian in a dream state:“Kristian.”
I whirl around and see a rustling of trees, but see no one.
“Kristian, my son, you were born ..."
Sounds interesting.... Losing his humanity I think would be much worse than death, if they succeed.
It would be, because if one ever gets their humanity back, they have to face the things they've done when they weren't themselves.
“The NEOs,” I mutter, lowering my binoculars. “To think, they’re practically the good guys in this world because of the sheer villainy of the Invaders.”“Hey, don’t just blame our world,” Garret says behind me. “It’s you who’s doing most of the villainy.”
I shoot him a glare. “We’ve been through this, Agent Shadow. I’m not the one responsible for this. I have done nothing but try to fight against this.”
“I know, I know, buddy-” He thumps me on the back with his big, meaty hand. “You’re not the guilty one.”
He doesn’t say anything more, but I can practically hear the unspoken words between us. I’m not the guilty one because his friend is.
His friend with my face.
My Alternate.
“But I’m telling you,” Garret adds. “The NEOs here aren’t so bad, and we need the resources-”
I bring my fist down on the counter. “No! Do you not remember what they did to her?!” My eyes slide shut at the memory of the death I was too late to stop.
“Who’s ‘her’?”
We both jump to hear the sweet, light voice of Amelia coming up behind us.
For a moment, I’m frozen as, once again, I thank the heavens for another chance to see the angel with longish brown hair framing the innocently beautiful face lit by bright eyes.
Amelia, who should always be alive. Amelia who should be dead. Was dead. Yet still alive. In another world.
Garret approaches her first, catching her in his arms and twirling her around. “There you are, my love.”
I lower my gaze, ashamed once again to catch myself staring too long at another man’s wife. “Look-”
When neither respond because they’re too busy gazing into each others’ eyes, I clear my throat. “Look, I’m grateful to have you two on my side. Especially with my team in hiding since the Invaders killed Bianca’s partner.”
Garret and Amelia manage to disengage themselves and give me as much attention as they ever do when they’re together.
I sigh. “I’m just glad not all the aliens are seeking to devour this place. There are already enough bite marks from our own citizens.”
Amelia pulls away from her husband and puts a hand on my shoulder.
I tense.
But her words are gentle. “Don’t worry- there is still enough life in this world and enough good in our own world to redeem the both of them.”
Of course, I nod at this. How could I but agree with anything that flows from her pure lips?
But pure or not, I still have a fear deep down that only one world will survive this. Only one people.
And only one Kristian Clark.
Jes wrote: "“The NEOs,” I mutter, lowering my binoculars. “To think, they’re practically the good guys in this world because of the sheer villainy of the Invaders.”“Hey, don’t just blame our world,” Garret s..."
This is very interesting, Jes. I like your concept of having two Kristian Clark's. One doing bad stuff and one trying to do good. It almost sounds like that you have an alternative world colliding with another one.
I give my best CEO smile to Rhyan as we stride into the Amerio ball in attempt to hide my nervousness. Not nervous so much because the woman of my dreams is draped over my arm, or that her potential assassin is behind us, or even that if I blow this ball mission, both the NEOs and my dad will be after me.No, I’m nervous because she’s met my father. She knows a part of me that I wish she never had to see.
All around us, couples in evening dress dance and talk. Then Rhyan stops walking.
I nearly freeze with the fear. Then Rhyan leans toward me and whispers, “Dance with me.”
Jes wrote: "I give my best CEO smile to Rhyan as we stride into the Amerio ball in attempt to hide my nervousness. Not nervous so much because the woman of my dreams is draped over my arm, or that her potentia..."Aww!!! I love this Jes! Sounds like the guy really cares for Rhyan, and him being nervous is great.
Thanks. He does, but this is only the beginning.
Well, I always knew there was a poet in my soul. Going through my edits, I found this:And sees, through the glow of the windows, the blood stained on her hands. The hands of a pacifist corrupted.
The hands of a lover revenged.
With a silent, racking sob, Aisling crumbles to the ground and leans against the door to her room, separated from warmth and light by the coolness of broken glass, and she lets her sorrows and stress wash over her; baptize her; make her new.
Make her into the monster she has to be if she wants to save them all.
Jes wrote: "Well, I always knew there was a poet in my soul. Going through my edits, I found this:And sees, through the glow of the windows, the blood stained on her hands. The hands of a pacifist corrupted...."
😱😱😱 Whoa.... Sounds like she just hurt someone or something. Aisling, I'm not sure you know what you are doing, there has to be another way!
I love how the words just flow here.
She once was a firm believer in finding another way, but after what she's been through, she doesn't anymore.
Basically, it's a spy story with superhero and nor elements. Kristian wakes up from a year of brain-washing and decides to do whatever it takes to find his family again- but can what he did while under the control of an elite branch of the US government called the Amerios ever be undone?
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