CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM FOR 54K WORD MS FOR SFF

[Joseph]

Good evening.

I have a SFF ms with the following pitch:

It has been several years since the dark lord ceased his attack against the one kingdom that protects intergalactic peace. Most citizens of the kingdom have forgotten about that night -- blocked the horrific event from memory -- and the not-so-young King Asmoph and Queen Jessa enjoy food and wine daily as if to forget the same.

An elderly prophet, Solaris, is the only one who believes the dark lord will return. A wise counselor who has outlived all of the living Dagmarthians and knows their ignorance. Solaris finds himself questioning his ability to see a future attack with old age as he has not had a vision since before the attack. When Solaris fills on wine during the annual Feast of Peace this year, he has a vision of an attack and manages to warn Jessa in his drunken state. When his warning is ignored, watchtowers alert the kingdom of invasion during the later hours of celebration. Solaris flees with Asmoph and Jessa among some other survivors in escape pods, but leave countless citizens behind.

Then, Asmoph and Jessa have their firstborn child named Kodus on their settlement in a faraway planet. Solaris sees pieces of a new vision that hints the dark lord’s defeat, but he is left to question a white light at the end of his vision. Asmoph and Jessa accept the vision without doubt and create an escape plan should the dark lord find them. The settlement is compromised when a strange storm brews and blue lights descend from the sky. Again, Solaris flees with Asmoph, Jessa, and Kodus among other frantic survivors to their escape pods underground. This time, Solaris realizes he must stay back to stall enemy soldiers drawing in on them. A completed escape leaves Asmoph and Jessa unsure how to continue on their own as other pods have spread far and wide. The only important rule now is that Kodus cannot leave home until he is ready to face the world outside and has the powers to defeat the dark lord.

Constructive criticism requested for the ms.

-Joseph

[John]

What I've read here doesn't sound much like "space opera" -- or for that matter much like SF at all, more like straight fantasy. Other than "a faraway planet" (which could be a "distant realm beyond the Endless Ocean") and "escape pods" (which could just as easily be some sort of teleportation spell)…

Don't mean to be critical, but I have four novels published so far that are definitely "space opera" and this doesn't fit the genre. On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with fantasy, and you've got what seems like a decent start for a "Swords and Sorcery" novel.

[Joseph]

Good evening John.

Thanks for the comment of a decent start.

I welcome the constructive criticism. I did my best to match this story to the appropriate area. Could be a part of why the story is rejected, too.

Would you be interested/available to work with me on it? I appreciate your tone and admire your writing accomplishments.

-Joseph

[John]

I'd like to help, but like I said it sounds more like a start for a fantasy novel, and fantasy isn't really my genre. Besides, just launched my fourth. That's got me busy with the publisher and I'm hard pressed to find time to work on my fifth. Know where I want to go with it, but need to put about 100k words down on paper (or into the computer) before I can relax.

[Joseph]

No worry. Twitter peeps say straight SFF is correct, too. Stay broad. Pitch was liked as well. My aim is someone who enjoys the genre and has the time. Thanks for giving a moment of your time.