Dead Leaves Wishing For A Spring Day ((Spring Day)) Showing 5,801-5,850 of 5,896

[Deepthi]

I guess I'll just go and drown in self-hate and self-doubt for tonight....

[Deepthi]

And nightmares for the start for 2020.

[Deepthi]

That sounds like reality rn.

[Deepthi]

Ugh............

[Deepthi]

I knew this was gonna happen one day... Why did I believe it when he (C) kept saying that it won't....?

Argh, Deepthi, you stupid dumb idiot!!!

[Deepthi]

And I knew that he (F) wasn't gonna reply.... Why the heck do I keep fucking expectations when I already know what's gonna happen, and then get disappointed?!!

[Deepthi]

I really am stupid.... Naive, dumb....
Idk, can I just.... Ugh, nvm.

[Deepthi]

Idiot....

[Deepthi]

Fucking loser.....
I should learn to learn from my past already... Not repeat my mistakes.....
..... I shouldn't get close to people.....

[Deepthi]

.... Distancing myself should work.....

[Deepthi]

I hope....

[Deepthi]

I dunno what I'm typing.... my head's a mess rn....

[Deepthi]

But I know one thing....
I'm not gonna be checking Discord anytime soon....

[Deepthi]

But I'm sick of pretending..... Yeah, I'm actually getting sick of it....

[Deepthi]

*sighs*

[Deepthi]

Fuck.....

[Deepthi]

I wish there was... idk... At least one person who could... Idk... say that I'm not a disappointment....

I guess it's gonna happen only in my fantasies though, oof.

[Deepthi]

Best don't have expectations.

[Deepthi]

Your family.... *scoofs*
Family.... I don't think I even belong there anymore...

[Deepthi]

The people whom I trusted online...
I should never have....

[Deepthi]

Fuck you, Wattpad....

[Deepthi]

I shouldn't have joined it, ever....

[quq]

is everything okay?

[Deepthi]

Neither should I have joined Discord....

[Deepthi]

Wth.....

[Deepthi]

Just.... I guess I should just leave....

[Deepthi]

Exit the fam, block all of them

[Deepthi]

Idc anymore, I don't fucking care

[Deepthi]

nova wrote: "is everything okay?"

No.
But dw about it....
I don't wanna burden someone again.

[Deepthi]

Nvm... I guess I should leave.

[quq]

no no! it’s not a burden, i’m just worried about you? if you wanna talk i am here and don’t ever think that you’re a burden for sharing anything that you’re struggling with <3

[Deepthi]

..... thanks, Nova....

[[deleted user]]

We’re all here for you!
Happy New Years!!! Btw.

[Deepthi]

Melody wrote: "We’re all here for you!
Happy New Years!!! Btw."

Thanks, you too

[Deepthi]

..... I'm leaving it, yeah.

[Deepthi]

I'mma just name it 'extra' and then walk out.

[Deepthi]

I don't care about what Chad or Iby or Annie or Leo or any-fucking-body think anymore.

[Deepthi]

I'm done trying.

[Deepthi]

And there it goes again

[Deepthi]

I mean, wth?

[Deepthi]

Alright, what the heck is Shiro's problem? -_-

[Deepthi]

I am not going to be messaging anyone.

[Deepthi]

Come to think of it... I've always been the first to message them, tbh...

[Deepthi]

Not this time, I'm not doing this.

[Deepthi]

...... But Chad's operation's soon....

[Deepthi]

OH, FUCK IT!!!! I FINALLY GET MY HEAD TO SHUT UP, AND IT STARTS OVER AGAIN!!!

[Deepthi]

Go rot in a hole, I don't care anymore you stupid voices...

[Deepthi]

Hah, I wish.

[Deepthi]

H-he messaged me....

[Deepthi]

I.... don't... know how to respond....?