Chapter Twenty-two

[[deleted user]]

:O... Did that just happen? No. It couldn't have.

Fantastic writing! Except...WHY DID YOU KILL HER OFF?!?!?!?!?!?!? :'(

[[deleted user]]

this is good stuff gurl

[[deleted user]]

THERE YA GO

[[deleted user]]

YUR WELCOME

[David]

Dear GurlBookworm,

Your writing keeps up its lively style up to "The end" ?

Small points: (1) You write that a man appears and 'puts it in the car.' I think he is probably a worker helping to unload boxes, but that it would be slightly better to say "... puts a box in the car." (If that's indeed what happened.) (2) The reader may be curious as to whether the Dad did anything after getting in "his car." It looks as if the mother whipped our her keys and drove it. But I'm wondering if he said anything at all?

[[deleted user]]

@Gurl - ITS STILL A MAJOR CLIFFHANGER. WRITE THE SEQUEL QUICKLY. PLEASE!

[Kamiko]

YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT!!!!!!!!I'M SCREAMING RIGHT NOW!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO