it's personal discussion
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trying to feel like me again
message 3651:
by
Erin
(new)
Apr 05, 2018 09:35PM
I really just want to try to go jabber-walking though xD
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I'm still debating on whether I should post my story now or wait until it's finished
If I post it now people might read it and give me motivation/inspiration
But what if people just tell me how terrible it is and it ruins any self motivation I have
I posted the first prologue on Goodreads
Yeah, I have two prologues for my book
I just read so much information and I don't remember any of it lol
It's a type of helmet for a suit of armor
Imma copy the Wikipedia page as a reference
You're not supposed to actually use Wikipedia but....*shrugs* when I'm wrong, I'm wrong
Erin wrote: "Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "awwww :( *hugs*my dragons said hi"
Sorry :/
YOU HAVE A DRAGON OMG HIIIIIII DRAGON DO THEY ..."
YES I HAVE TWO PET DRAGONS!!! ONE IS NAMED RAINBOW THE OTHER ONE IS NAMED SHADOW
Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "Erin wrote: "Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "awwww :( *hugs*my dragons said hi"
Sorry :/
YOU HAVE A DRAGON OMG HIIIIIII DR..."
YAYYYYYYYYY YOU'RE COOOLLLL
HIIIIIII RAINBOW HIIIIIIII SHADOW
HIIIIIIIIIIIII RAINBOW AND SHADOW
I went to bed sometime past 7am last night
Omg they all started chirping at once and it was beautiful and weird and idek
Here's a secret: it's not a happy ending but that doesn't mean there isn't hope.
If you were the happiness I thought I deserved, I'm glad that you left because I deserve so much more. If you were the song on the radio, you know the one that used to be ours, I'm glad that you're gone because it had been theirs, too. If you were my everything, I'm glad you're a liar because I never should've believed that you were my only chance at safety.
Erin wrote: "Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "Erin wrote: "Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal..."YAY
Shadow is named after SOW btw XD
Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "Erin wrote: "Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "Erin wrote: "Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa f..."YAYYYY
ALSO I FIGURED XD
XDSOW HAS INFLUENCED ME TOO MUCH!!!!
XDINFLUENCES CAN BE GOOD!!! THEY CAN ALSO BE BAD!!! SOW IS.... UNDECIDED XD
TRUE!!!! SOW IS A GOOD INFLUENCE!! THEY CHASED MY WORRIES AWAY!!!
AHH OKAY SO THEY'RE SLIGHTLY MORE GOOD THAN BAD XD BUT WHERE DID YOUR WORRIES GO? I BET THEY'VE RUN AWAY XD Sorry I saw an opportunity xD
YESSSS MY WORRIES HAVE RUNAWAY!!!
Don't confuse me for a safety net. I would do anything to protect you and to help you, but that doesn't mean I always can. Don't rely every ounce of your safety, of your life, on me because I can't promise you I will always be there because the truth is I'd be a liar if I said I was. It's hard to stay when all you ever want to do is flee. It's hard to fight for someone else when nobody has every fought for you. I used to fight for everyone and then I fought for no one, and I haven't quite learned how to just fight for someone. And you're more than just a someone and I don't want to mess that up. I'm sorry if I already have and I'm sorry for when I do mess up. Just remember this: you don't have to forgive me.
Also I just find this part of my book to be hilarious: When I first opened my eyes, I automatically screamed, gasping for breath that wasn't there. Bain just raised an eyebrow at me before clamping her hand over my mouth.
“Don't do that.” She demanded. “It's obnoxious.”
I stopped screaming.
Do you ever just have a thought and you go to tell someone it because idk it was weird or something and you need to hear familiar reassurances and just something other than yourself and then you decide that it's not important, that it's not good enough, that it's so fucking stupid and you should've never thought to say anything?
This would be so much easier if I had a gun
^which is exactly why I shouldn't have a gun
It's like OKAY IM SO FUCKING HAPPY I FEEL SO HYPE IM TOTALLY OKAY NOTHING IS WRONG to fuck....I can't do this....I hate myself...let me go please
This is exactly why I shouldn't be here
OKAY BUT I JUST GOT SO EXCITED! I HATE IT WHEN I REMEMBER I HAVE FRIENDS XD
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
