trying to feel like me again Showing 301-350 of 14,783

[Erin]

Blaming myself and now denial. Interesting...

[Erin]

I suppose I'm not really denying that it ever happened. I'm really not.

[Erin]

Just trying to make sense of things from long ago.

[Erin]

I can't wait to see who I turn out to be.

[Erin]

See, that's what I mean. Those thoughts are new and okay abd pure.

[Erin]

Those thoughts hurt less.

[Erin]

Always one who asks questions but never one who seeks answers. Why?

[Erin]

Maybe I'm afraid

[Erin]

Maybe not

[Erin]

Maybe I don't know how

[Erin]

Or where to look

[Erin]

Or perhaps, I am my own answer.

[Erin]

But no matter what those are just excuses.

[Erin]

You never really know things until you know, you know?

[Erin]

And most of the time you just won't.

[Erin]

When life hands you a lemon don't under any circumstance make lemonade.

[Erin]

Excuse after excuse

[Erin]

after excuse after excuse

[Erin]

No.

[Erin]

excuses won't get you far.

[Erin]

or maybe they will
maybe they'll get you so far
that you'll forget how to
live your life
without lies.

[Erin]

I keep fighting my sleep medicine to stay awake I need to stop

[Erin]

I should stop

[Erin]

And yet

[kavi ~he-him~]

*hugs*

[Erin]

My mind has began to list reasons to stay awake and I don't want to turn this into another essay.

[Erin]

I don't want to be that person ever

[Erin]

Ever

[Erin]

again.

[Erin]

Because I won't know how to act I'll be confused by the familiar touch and it'll feel like it's supposed to be but it's not it's really not

[Erin]

and I don't want to go back to lying and excuses

[Erin]

I don't want to write another essay feel another essay when it's not the kind of writing that gets inked on a page or with lead or whatever

[Erin]

when it's just me adding on and in and in each night

[Erin]

I don't want to do that again.

[Erin]

I can't do that again.

[Erin]

Don't let me write another essay because it'll go on even after years. I don't want to be part of another minded essay.

[Erin]

So I need to stop fighting, stop being paranoid, stop being afraid.

[Erin]

because I can't spend my life writing these essays. They hurt too much.

[Erin]

❄️Ƙανу тнє ναмριяє❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "*hugs*"

*Hugs back*

[Erin]

Tomorrow's my last day of vacation :/

[Erin]

I'll be okay.

[Erin]

Maybe even better.

[Erin]

I'll still waiting for the day that I'll scream it.

[Erin]

Welp night.

[Erin]

Seems like I'm still alive today so yay XD

[Erin]

Haha thanks! :D

[Erin]

I slept in a hour later than usual. Not good. I woke up so many times in the middle if the night though so maybe that's why. It's weird because i didn't think I could wake up during the night with me taking my sleep medicine so it was surprising every time. It bugs me.

[Erin]

Ahhhhh it's so good. Why do people do this to me? Every day I get reminded of life.

[Erin]

I knowwww!!! I just feel too much human lol

[Erin]

Ooh aliens sound fun! I've never even thought about trying to be one of them! XD