it's personal discussion
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trying to feel like me again
xD you don't seem negative right now!
i could be better, i guess i'm good
Yay!!! It seems like talking to people sometimes make me less negative, so I should note that :DI'm glad your good but I still hope you become greater than good!
Thank you for your PMs Erin <3I hope you're doing okay! I'm alright rn because I was able to take a breather from major schoolwork.
I presented my dreams last week and it went fine. Of course, a lot of other people's were more of a stretch. Lol.
Btw do you know Discord? The site.
Great job with Mara! Ooh yes she would definitely know Hogwarts XD
i hope you get better than okayish! :)
Erin wrote: "BUT PETS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH YOU THEIR WHOLE LIFE"IKR!!!!!
Erin wrote: "And she wonders why I hate myself when she's yelled at me for speaking. She wonders why I don't say how I feel when every time I do she makes hate myself for breathing":( *hugs*
Alia wrote: "Thank you for your PMs Erin <3I hope you're doing okay! I'm alright rn because I was able to take a breather from major schoolwork.
I presented my dreams last week and it went fine. Of course, a..."
You're welcome! <3
I am, thanks! I'm glad that you're alright and I'm also glad that you've gotten a breather from school with how hard you work!
Ah that's good. And yeah, haha, I've been over thinking that question of how'd I answer that ever since I read the letters on your journal and I still have no actual answer for it XD
And yeah I do! I have one because I made one originally when me and my sister were gathering a bunch of writers from different social medias so we could all stay in contact. Plus, I'm in a GR one too.
And ahh thank you! That actually really means a lot because I'm always afraid that maybe I'm presenting her wrong and that you hate me for everything I make her do xD And yay, haha, I figured she'd know it so she can snatch information from the inside XD
thelma wrote: "i hope you get better than okayish! :)"Thanks, I hope so too! :D
I hate my phone. It chose to die when I was trying to respond to you guys xD
Yes Erin blame the phone because it's defiantly the phones fault and not your own
Am I even alive at this point xD I'm a strange one
Alex ~She/he/they~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "Erin wrote: "BUT PETS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH YOU THEIR WHOLE LIFE"IKR!!!!!"
YASSS!!!!!!
Alex ~She/he/they~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Bvbarmy) (Aelonian) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "Erin wrote: "And she wonders why I hate myself when she's yelled at me for speaking. She wonders why I don't say how I feel when every time I do she makes hate myself for breathing":( *hugs*"
:/ *hugs back* Thanks
My mom seriously needs to stop getting animals she can't take care of ahhh
Like she wanted a dog that could help her see but she wouldn't even take care if it properly I bet
I'm just an angry lil lady though so what do I know? xD
I don't have anymore sleep medicine in my box but I don't want to go ask for some
Imma have to learn to swallow pills. They got me the others that arent the dissolvable because I'm supposed to learn to swallow pills but ahhhhh I can't do it tonight
Dear Random Person On My Mind,I'm sorry. I know that that's not good enough, especially because of how often I say it, but I really am. It's been a year since we've talked and it's mostly my fault. I've made a promise and I haven't kept it. It's not that I was trying to break it it's just that I'm not so sure how to give you the advice to keep on fighting when everything I could say feels like it'd be a lie and like it'd turn me into a hypocrite. I don't know how to keep fighting because I barely know how to breathe properly and I'm so freaking sorry that all I've ever done for you is disappear.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear Random Person On My Mind,I'm sorry for not understanding back then. I didn't understand what it meant to be suicidal and scared and to hate yourself so strongly because of your family members are fighting or because your friendships are breaking up, but I'm here three years later and I finally have gotten the courage to say that I do understand now. I'm sorry I didn't back then but I know now and it hurts so bad. I'm sorry for not trying to understand.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear Random Person On My Mind, I know that you don't know what to say anymore. I know. I'm sorry. I know I'm making this awkward and you probably don't have the energy to try anymore but I don't have the courage to let you go. I'm scared of losing you because I'm scared of goodbyes. I want to hold on to you because you remind me of my sister because you were her friend first and you mattered to her first and I don't want to have you both just disappear without me trying to fight. So I'm sorry but I can't let go.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear Random Person On My Mind,I don't know the proper way to greet you or how to say hello, which way is better and more perfect and real and which way makes it seem like I don't care or like I'm too desperate. I'm sorry I don't know any of that. I've never been a people person. I don't know how to make us fine. I don't know how to fix all of my countless mistakes. I don't know how to begin a hello because I haven't learned how to write a fight song. You and her always said we'd be friends for forever and I warned you guys to the point I made you cry. I wanted you guys to be prepared, but now it feels like I'm the only one who's trying. What am I supposed to do if you guys aren't trying too? Do I just give up? I don't know how to give up. Guys, I'm a writer and you have been a chapter in my life story and I don't want to end it. I don't want to lose you. I'm so tired of losing everyone.
Sincerely,
Me
I should stop now before I write another hundred letters.
I should try to sleep before I decide that no sleep is better
Erin wrote: "Alia wrote: "Thank you for your PMs Erin <3I hope you're doing okay! I'm alright rn because I was able to take a breather from major schoolwork.
I presented my dreams last week and it went fine...."
Oh that's good! And thanks, haha. I'm nervous for a major test today though...
No need to worry if you don't know the answer to that question! I don't think many of us "idealistic realists" do. Like we set our goals too high but they still seem attainable, unlike getting the most expensive car in the world.
Omg yay!!! That is so cool! I would love to send you my name on there so we can chat! I want to ask this question to a lot of people here eventually but you wound up being the first. XD
No, don't think that! Unless you're totally powerplaying her and make her as OP as Natasha, I agree with anything you plan to do. :)
I meant for her to have flaws that most of these perfect villains of our group don't. So yeah.
Alia wrote: "Erin wrote: "Alia wrote: "Thank you for your PMs Erin <3I hope you're doing okay! I'm alright rn because I was able to take a breather from major schoolwork.
I presented my dreams last week and ..."
Yeah, and you're welcome! Good luck with your test!
Yeah, that's true. I guess I just want to be able to list my dreams so I can think of the steps for being able to obtain them, but every time I'm actually trying to think of them they seem to grow less clear. Like I can't look at them or they'll disappear but I can't just not work for them because that'll make them disappear, too. I feel like my dreams, any of them, will always be way bigger than anything I am capable of accomplishing.
Yay!!! Alright, I'd love that! I think my name on there is BelleutifulErin ot something like that because it was like my writers name but with my actual name, but I'm not completely certain if that's correct. And yay I'm the first!!! :D
And okay, I'll try! I feel like I'm pretty good at not OP characters, so hopefully that'll never be a problem. And because I'm literally obsessed with imperfect villains, hopefully I'll show her flaws in a good enough way :)
All of my roleplay responses were just terrible except for kinda Asteria. She's one of the easier characters I have to roleplay right now
I think they were just talking shit about me
Why? Because I take forever to do my homework
Like wtf that's none if their business
At least I don't put my hands on someone and scream at them
I guess I still have some if the dissolvable because she broke it up.
I just finally got the courage to get my sleep medicine.
It's not that I was afraid. It's just that I didn't really want to be in the same room as them
But they were leaving and he wasn't in the room so I decided to go
It was mostly him talking shit. I'm just annoyed my mom never defends me
Heh bet you thought I was asleep but I'm not
I just got an amazing message from an amazing person
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
mermaid in the disguise of a humanme.And I'm doing okayish. How are you???