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trying to feel like me again
message 14601:
by
Erin
(new)
Jun 25, 2024 07:17AM
our story was just a complicated one
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and yet I still want to tell our story
and I want our story to be about more than how I lost her
I want her to know that she means everything to me
that she truly is the thing that makes me wake up every single day
that despite how our plans never worked out, I love her
that despite the fact it's been years, I love her
just like a part of me will always be waiting, a part of me will always love her
I have to let her have her own life and maybe one day she'll come back and maybe she won't but I can't keep hurting myself for her
but it isn't fair of me when no promises were made
a dream of two kids who wanted more for each other
and it hurts sometimes just how badly I miss her
because I don't know how much of her was real
but I have pages of writing dedicated to her
and it isn't fair of me to keep doing this
when the truth is she probably forgot me
I probably wasn't important enough to remember
I love her but to her I'm probably nothing
I would keep breaking myself if it meant she'd be safe and okay and happy but that's not how it works
I wish i could say that I stopped thinking about her but I haven't
and I hate how I keep trying to diagnosis myself as if it's the answer
it's not and i know that but well here i am
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
