trying to feel like me again Showing 14,551-14,600 of 14,783

[Erin]

you used me as a punching bag-
and I was your willing victim

[Erin]

thought I deserved the worst

[Erin]

now I know I deserved better

[Erin]

but I'm still hurting

[Erin]

from the words you made me scream

[Erin]

from the scars you left

[Erin]

from the feelings I felt

[Erin]

tried to ignore all the signs

[Erin]

but i WAS A SMART KID

[Erin]

I knew it was abuse but let you hurt me anyways and kept my mouth shut

[Erin]

because I didn't want to lose you

[Erin]

ahhhh sorry

[Erin]

just reflecting

[Erin]

i'm not okay

[Erin]

like at all

[Erin]

i'm trying to be but it feels like i can't breathe

[Erin]

like i can never get enough air

[Erin]

like i am falling

[Erin]

constantly

[Erin]

i'm so tired

[Erin]

i hate this

[Erin]

or me

[Erin]

i hate me

[Erin]

i just want everything to be better

[Erin]

but it's not

[Erin]

it's getting worse. I'm getting worse

[Erin]

I can feel myself falling faster

[Erin]

every second

[Erin]

and I don't know when this is going to end

[Erin]

in other news, I'm still waiting

[Erin]

for her

[Erin]

to come back

[Erin]

a part of me will always be waiting

[Erin]

and I know I shouldn't

[Erin]

I know I should move on

[Erin]

but it's easier this way

[Erin]

to hold onto unrequited love

[Erin]

because I deserve to be alone

[Erin]

and I'll do better on my own

[Erin]

and I know that

[Erin]

I do

[Erin]

but I still wait anyways

[Erin]

there's so much I want to tell her

[Erin]

to say

[Erin]

because there is so many times I've cried and mourned her as if she was the very ghost haunting me

[Erin]

and if I don't laugh, I'm going to cry

[Erin]

they say you never should meet your heroes

[Erin]

well for the longest time she was mine

[Erin]

my hero

[Erin]

I thought that meant I didn't really love her but I was wrong