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trying to feel like me again
message 1401:
by
Erin
(new)
Feb 18, 2018 07:49AM
So I kinda feel like I'm going to throw up still and my back hurts but I feel fantastic
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And you know how I'm weird and have my characters voices in my head? Well one of the ones I adopted is there now and omg she's hilarious like she might kill me
Iveanna doesn't really speak to me. She says it's cause she's always work and I'm like....take a break
Yes throw in a reference and it's not even 12 yet. Whooo
Go me! Now to actually be productive today....
I'm actually having a good day even with my obsessive coffee drinking.
And I don't feel like throwing up so much anymore
Same school, own room, better neighborhood
But we have to get rid of Tami. We can't walk to the library as frequently as we do because it's much further which means we won't be able to walk over to Allison's.
And Matt's going with us even though she should have gotten rid of him forever ago
Moving isn't going to stop their yelling
It's not going to make us a happy family
We don't know how to be a happy family
I keep asking if Tami knows because I don't want us to just one day be there and the next day we're getting rid of her
Sometimes I think she knows, but other times it doesn't feel like it.
BUT PETS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH YOU THEIR WHOLE LIFE
And she's asked if we're angry at her no fucking dip
Not only do we love Tami but she was supposed to go to Mary
It's never going to be good if she keeps taking everything away
I don't want a new house that'll allow me to feel empty
Everything is always taken away and do yes I'm angry and sad that Tami is one of them.
What the fuck did she expect? Honestly?
Of course I won't say anything to her though because I'll just get yelled at for having emotions
You'd think I'd know better by now to react to my life on days I am feeling great because I am almost never feeling great anymore and when I do I deserve it
I'm so tired of hating myself because of everything she does
It should never feel like it's my fault
And she wonders why I hate myself when she's yelled at me for speaking. She wonders why I don't say how I feel when every time I do she makes hate myself for breathing
I'm a terrible person. I have a roleplay that I need to respond to and I have to do it tonight because I've already said I'd respond to it and that was before I did the other one
Ahhh I hate myself because anytime something goes wrong I don't want to do anything
i didn't realize you made a new journal :)
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
