trying to feel like me again Showing 13,251-13,300 of 14,783

[Erin]

I just feel really awful today

[Erin]

and the dorms are so quiet since there's a break rn

[Erin]

and all I can think about is how I should be feeling thankful for the people I have in my life but I still feel like I have no one

[Erin]

and like I will always have no one

[Erin]

because I am no one

[Erin]

but that isn't true

[Erin]

I still have my siblings

[Erin]

my sister literally sent me food this week

[Erin]

I'm going over to my other sister's place tomorrow

[Erin]

anyways goodnight

[Erin]

it's like 1am and I just needed to feel like I was talking to somebody even if nobody cares lol

[Erin]

oh and happy thanksgiving to anyone who celebrates it! May you know that I'm thankful for all of you even if I don't know you personally~

[Erin]

omg I heard noises

[Erin]

yay there's other life forces around

[Erin]

of course it's when I'm about to sleep lol

[Erin]

anyways I said goodnight already but goodnight again since I got distracted lmao

[Erin]

I just remembered something terrible and by remember I mean found

[Erin]

and I'm really sad and pissed off right now

[Erin]

and I don't know what to do

[Erin]

well never mind

[Erin]

nothing I say here is important anymore

[Erin]

I can't believe I forgot

[Erin]

I have one person and one person only blocked on here

[Erin]

which means he knew I was here this entire time

[Erin]

and I just fucking forgot

[Erin]

which means anyone I've talked to could have easily been him behind a fake account

[Erin]

and now I'm about to have a panic attack

[Erin]

I'm so tired of not feeling safe

[Erin]

I think I think too much

[Erin]

and I think that's been killing me

[Erin]

all this time

[Erin]

Sometimes I feel like my mind is a reflection of what walking through a haunted house feels like.

[Erin]

The feeling that something could pop out at any moment and like I'll never be ready for it, no matter how hard I try to be.

[Erin]

It'll get worse before it gets better,
that's what they all say
It'll get worse
just before you make a breakthrough
ohhhhhhhhh
tell me once more
where am i at
tell me once more
where should i be

[Erin]

^ ehh idk random words in my head

[Erin]

I'm feeling really emotional right now haha

[Erin]

idek why exactly

[Erin]

Chance to Say Goodbye by Jamie Harrison

You know I'm always gonna love you from a distance
Even if you're with some other guy
But when you walked down the path of least resistance
You never gave me any chance to say goodbye

'Cause all that love and all that pain
All the time I would take the blame
All those tears and all those smiles
Makes me feel like it was all a lie
I need this chance to say goodbye
I need this chance to say goodbye

I hope you get the things I could never give you
I hope he never hurts you or makes you cry
But darlin' don't you think that with all we've been through
That I deserve a little chance to say goodbye

'Cause all that love and all that pain
All the time I would take the blame
All those tears and all those smiles
Makes me feel like it was all a lie
I need this chance to say goodbye
I need this chance to say goodbye

I know that on the outside
You'd never know that I was down
But darlin' if you knew just how it feels
To find you in his arms before you'd let me heal
You'd know, yeah you'd know

That all that love and all that pain
All the time I would take the blame
All those tears and all those smiles
Makes me feel like it was all a lie
I need this chance to say goodbye
I need this chance to say goodbye

[Erin]

sometimes I feel like I'm falling

[Erin]

falling way too fast to catch myself

[Erin]

falling way too far to go back

[Erin]

and if I just disappeared

[Erin]

one day I'll be forgotten and it won't even matter

[Erin]

because I haven't done anything worth living for

[Erin]

but one day I might

[Erin]

One day I might find a purpse

[Erin]

maybe

[Erin]

idk

[Erin]

maybe I won't find one

[Erin]

but I should still live long enough to try to make even the slightest of a difference