it's personal discussion
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trying to feel like me again
message 13101:
by
Erin
(new)
Nov 13, 2022 12:47PM
like I'm somewhere in between dissociating and being here and it's really weird because it doesn't feel like I'm here but it feels like I'm here and everywhere all at once idk how to explain it
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It's like feeling manic but having anxiety mixed with a sense of rationality
it's the reminder that none of this matters because one day we'll all be dead and this planet might out last all of us
I hope it does. We've messed up and polluted it and just
It deserves better than the human race and I hope something better will come
Humans are talking about going to Mars but we're literally already hurting one planet, why are we trying to make another suffer the same fate?
look at everything and see how connected it all is
The ocean has barely been discovered and there's so much more in this universe we haven't seen as well
but at the same time we have all these people who are working together but at the same time we have people who wish to divide
I don't know why I'm feeling like this
It's mania with a deadline and a brain that's scattered in completely different areas
This medicine is making my manic episodes come back but I'm in college now and this isn't the time for it
I'll shut up for now and hopefully the next time I come on here I'll have something done
OMG I JUST DISCOVERED SOMETHING AMAZING
ANYWAYS NOW THAT I CAN COME BACK FROM BEING RUDELY INTERRUPTED BY RATIONAL THOUGHTS
YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I USED TO REACT TO OTHER PEOPLE'S JOURNALS W/O TELLING THEM AND THAT I JUST DIDN'T CARE IF THEY KNEW OR NOT AND YOU ALL WERE CONFUSED AS TO WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT
I DISCOVERED A NEW JOURNAL AND IT WAS SO RELATEABLE LIKE I ONLY READ THE MOST RECENT THINGS BUT I'M GOING TO START AT THE BEGINNING AND READ AND REACT THE WHOLE THING THROUGH SO YEAH
okay sorry I got stuck in CAPS LOCK without realizing it
and I want to be but I don't want to be
I got 2 things done off my to-do list but I still have more I need to do
I'll just wake up early and try to get everything done tomorrow or well today it's 1 am for me
I wish the reasons to live were enough
I was so happy because I wasn't feeling suicidal every single day
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
