trying to feel like me again Showing 1,251-1,300 of 14,783

[Erin]

The truth hurts that's why people run away or hide from it

[Erin]

Wow, people are stupid.

[Erin]

I don't like to sleep when they're yelling because I'm afraid he'll hurt her.

[Erin]

"get your hands of my face" she kept repeating that one night and I keep acting like I misheard, like I got it wrong.

[Erin]

Maybe I did

[Erin]

But still

[Erin]

The threats are enough to be afraid

[Erin]

It hurts to sleep when they fight

[Erin]

It hurts to go to school and think of hundreds of possibilities of what might go wrong

[Erin]

Of the slightest things that might set him off

[Erin]

They said they'll stop fighting in front of us but they haven't

[Erin]

Just because we're not in the room doesn't mean we can't hear

[Erin]

I'm so tired of them yelling. I've already taken my sleep medicine so maybe I'll fall asleep soon but I don't want to just lay here in the dark and listen so I keep typing

[Erin]

Ahhh why do they yell so much

[Erin]

Why won't they learn

[Erin]

I'm sick of crying.

[Erin]

I'm always crying these days and I shouldn't be.

[Erin]

I wonder why I'm so negative

[Erin]

It's because every single time I get to be happy, every single time I get to laugh I always have these moments to look on and then I think about how others have it worse

[Erin]

I know others have it worse but that doesn't mean I don't matter

[Erin]

I wish I didn't matter

[Erin]

I wish I never existed

[Erin]

I wish I was nothing and am nothing and that everything I am is a lie

[Erin]

Because I'll never do anything good.

[edge]

hey this journal's got my name on it. oh dont worry im just nosy ;)

[Erin]

I'm just being more negative I'm so sorry I'm leaving now goodnight bye

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "I wish I never existed"

I wish you exist. (wait what?)"

Thanks, haha. I guess your wish is true XD

[Erin]

edge wrote: "hey this journal's got my name on it. oh dont worry im just nosy ;)"

Sorry I didn't see this before I got off last night! And haha, it does, it's also the name of something I'm writing, and thanks for the reassurance lol

[Erin]

Sorry for my dramatic exit and negativity of yesterday. tip: don't ask me how I am I might start crying again.

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Sorry for my dramatic exit and negativity of yesterday. tip: don't ask me how I am I might start crying again."

No crying. *hugs*"

Thanks *hugs back*

[Erin]

Valentine Ransom (call me Val) ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ wrote: "*hugs*"

Thanks *hugs back*

[Erin]

On the bright side, I actually went to my group today. There wasn't as many people as there was the first day.

[Erin]

I think they might've stopped going too.

[Erin]

I didn't stop I just couldn't attend.

[Erin]

I only missed two which actually feels like a lot

[Erin]

Ahhh I think the people in charge were happy I was there though

[Erin]

Even though I cried.

[Erin]

I'm so fucking weak lmao

[Erin]

Ahhhh

[Erin]

It's fine though

[Erin]

I'm fine though

[Erin]

I need to watch my mouth.

[Erin]

It was a joke since I cussed. I was just thinking of what my mom would say.

[Erin]

Yeah haha

[Erin]

Someone called me smart today and I just laughed. Was that mean? To them or to me? 😂 I'm like dying of laughter and I don't know why.

[Erin]

It was after Hannah was like "Damn Erin" when handing my paper to me and I was just like I already knew that

[Erin]

I just meant I already checked progress book

[Erin]

But I got a 34/ 30

[Erin]

Do you want to know the first thing I noticed though? I realized I spelled realized wrong. I forgot the z and it was clear that I had erased whatever was before it because that word was darker on the page and that kills me too

[kavi ~he-him~]

Erin wrote: "Sorry for my dramatic exit and negativity of yesterday. tip: don't ask me how I am I might start crying again."

:( *hugs*