trying to feel like me again Showing 12,851-12,900 of 14,783

[Erin]

I feel like an object

[Erin]

and I'm to be shipped off to college

[Erin]

and there I can be somebody else

[Erin]

Maybe try the perfect thing again

[Erin]

but I don't know

[Erin]

I'm just so tired

[kavi ~he-him~]

erin, hi!

[Erin]

kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ wrote: "erin, hi!"

Hi!!!!!! I'm so sorry, I just saw this! How are you??

[Erin]

I'm alive in case anyone cares

[Erin]

I wish I cared

[Erin]

I'm exhausted

[Erin]

Having multiple panic attacks a day isn't fun

[Erin]

I wish I could escape

[Erin]

My thoughts are really bad right now. They have been for awhile

[Erin]

That's kind of why I've been avoiding goodreads tbh

[Erin]

I feel sick

[Erin]

I've been in the dorms since Wednesday and today I had my first day of classes

[Erin]

My head hurts

[Erin]

Erin wrote: "Maybe try the perfect thing again"

failed on day one

[kavi ~he-him~]

Erin wrote: "kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ wrote: "erin, hi!"

Hi!!!!!! I'm so sorry, I just saw this! How are you??"

hii it's okay!!!! i'm good!! what about you???

[Erin]

kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ wrote: "Erin wrote: "kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ wrote: "erin, hi!"

Hi!!!!!! I'm so sorry, I just saw this! How are you??"

hii it's okay!!!! i'm good!! what about you???"

I'm really glad that you're doing good! <3 and I'm doing okay

[Lillian]

Erin wrote: "That's kind of why I've been avoiding goodreads tbh"

*hugs* sorry i haven't been on much, im on insta more now. How are you doing Erin?

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "That's kind of why I've been avoiding goodreads tbh"

*hugs* sorry i haven't been on much, im on insta more now. How are you doing Erin?"

*hugs back* You're fine! I haven't been on much either. I'm doing okay, how are you???

[kavi ~he-him~]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "That's kind of why I've been avoiding goodreads tbh"

*hugs* sorry i haven't been on much, im on insta more now. How are you doing Erin?"

same with me but with twitter loll (i'm also on insta from time to time

[kavi ~he-him~]

Erin wrote: "kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ wrote: "Erin wrote: "kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ wrote: "erin, hi!"

Hi!!!!!! I'm so sorry, I just saw this! How are you??"

hii it's okay!!!! i'm good!! what about you?..."

do you still have insta?

[Lillian]

Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "That's kind of why I've been avoiding goodreads tbh"

*hugs* sorry i haven't been on much, im on insta more now. How are you doing Erin?"

*hugs back* You're fine! I ha..."

I'm doing pretty good i have good days and bad days

[Erin]

kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ wrote: "Erin wrote: "kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ wrote: "Erin wrote: "kavi + alex + noir ~ve|vim~ wrote: "erin, hi!"

Hi!!!!!! I'm so sorry, I just saw this! How are you??"

hii it's okay!!!! i'm good!! wh..."

I do, I'm just not on it much. My phone doesn't have wifi when I'm in my dorm room so I'd only get notifications from it if I was outside the dorm and in between classes

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "That's kind of why I've been avoiding goodreads tbh"

*hugs* sorry i haven't been on much, im on insta more now. How are you doing Erin?"

*hugs back* You'..."

I'm glad you're doing good. I hope you're bad days aren't too bad but I get how it is.

[Erin]

I'm exhausted

[Erin]

also I kind of feel like I'm falling a part

[Erin]

I had a really bad day Friday and couldn't attend any of my classes

[Erin]

because I literally felt confined to my room

[Erin]

and I haven't ate anything today

[Erin]

and I'm pretty much almost out of food

[Erin]

but my anxiety is so bad that it's like I don't really care

[Erin]

I don't know if I'm making any sense

[Erin]

It'd be nice if I felt like there was people I could talk to here but there isn't

[Erin]

it's like I know people and talk to them but I can't really call any of them my friends

[Erin]

I feel like I'm in a cage and I'm just watching everyone walk by me

[Erin]

I feel like I'm suffocating

[Erin]

I thought it was just that damn house that made me feel this way and that I'd be able to breathe once I got out but I still feel trapped

[Erin]

and it fucking hurts too much

[Erin]

and it's like I can't really talk about it

[Erin]

because I'm pretty much isolating myself and I can't talk to my friends because I honestly don't really have any anymore

[Erin]

I just have people who used to care but don't really anymore

[Erin]

or maybe they do but I don't

[Erin]

because I've spent my entire life caring too damn much

[Erin]

that maybe it was time for me to finally quit

[Erin]

I'm not in therapy anymore because it hurt too much near the end and because I kept missing appointments

[Erin]

do you know what it's like to constantly try to get better because you think you're supposed to, because a part of you at one point would have wanted to get better