it's personal discussion
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trying to feel like me again
message 12801:
by
Erin
(new)
Jun 24, 2022 04:38PM
because that's what's going to fucking happen
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As a daughter of someone who's sexually assaulted people I wish I was dead
I don't think any more kids should have to go through that
like why the fuck did they make that decision
did they expect woman not to be upset
They're doing fireworks again and I want to kill somebody
I'm just so fucking done with our stupid world
oh god Erin I'm sorry I thought you knew
*hugs* you still here?
deep breaths. give yourself rest
It's fine, thanks for telling me *hugs back* I'm off and on right now. But thank you, I'll try.
and I'm having a mental breakdown again
and I kinda wish someone would break in and shoot me
and that's not the kind of thing anybody should wish
do you know what it's like to watch someone hate themselves so much for so long that you begin to hate yourself
I think that's what happened with my mom and me
but the way she treats me is like she never was
like she couldn't possibly understand
If I asked, she'd probably say she lived for her kids
will she finally regain the courage to do something stupid
and will it be my fault for putting all those ideas in her head
If I kill myself, you guys will probably never know
I spent most of my middle school years here ranting and then came back in high school
These journals were the first place I confessed to attempting suicide
but I'm trying my best to live with that
but it's so fucking hard when you've tried for so long to be perfect that everyone knowing your screwed up fucks you up
If I was perfect, would I still hate myself
If I had done everything right, would my mother actually love me
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
