trying to feel like me again Showing 12,401-12,450 of 14,783

[Erin]

because that's me right now

[Erin]

and you know what I may still be in love with a stranger but I'll get over it one day and maybe I'll never love again but that's okay

[Erin]

It's worth it

[Erin]

I'm okay with being broken

[Erin]

I'm okay with everything ending just to begin again

[Erin]

my music right now lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_Ceo...

[Erin]

this isn't even what pumped me up and I have no idea how I got here

[Erin]

I love writing

[Erin]

who wants sneak peaks of what I'm writing? nobody? okay me neither

[Erin]

*posts anyways* lol (view spoiler)[ it's on my other journal if you're interested, it's called Reckless Writing (hide spoiler)]

[Erin]

more music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9DRO...

[Erin]

I'm annoyed

[Erin]

my mom is making me cook for people I strongly dislike/hate

[Erin]

I hate them

[Erin]

I have good reason to

[Erin]

hiiii :D

[Erin]

I love writing haha

[Lillian]

Erin wrote: "hiiii :D"

Hi!

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "hiiii :D"

Hi!"

Ahh I didn't see this until now but hi :D

[Erin]

I've been really bad at being on goodreads lately

[Erin]

I'm really angry and sad right now

[Erin]

I hate my father

[Erin]

He made it seem like he was going to help and then took it away when I didn't want to talk to him

[Erin]

and everyone keeps telling me that I should talk to him

[Erin]

that I should swallow my pride and ask for the money

[Erin]

but I don't want help of a fucking pedophile

[Erin]

and if that makes it where I can't go to college then so fucking be it

[Erin]

I'm so exhausted

[Erin]

I just wish I could go asleep for forever

[Lillian]

Erin wrote: "I just wish I could go asleep for forever"

Same

[Erin]

I-

[Erin]

I'm not doing good

[Erin]

I think I need to go back to the hospital but I really don't want to go

[Erin]

but I don't think I'm safe right now

[Erin]

My head

[Erin]

My thoughts

[Erin]

They're getting worse

[Erin]

My mom's trying so hard to make it better but she makes me feel worse

[Erin]

and I'm so scared of myself

[Erin]

because I want to die so badly but I don't want to traumatize my family anymore than I've already done

[Erin]

and that's the only reason I'm alive

[Erin]

I don't see a future

[Erin]

I spent my entire high school experience thinking that if I made it to 18 I'd be okay but I'm turning 19 tomorrow and nothing is okay

[Erin]

I want to down all of my pills that they've put me on- all at once

[Erin]

I want to slit my wrists

[Erin]

I want to drown because that's where it started

[Erin]

I'm hearing things again and I'm so fucking scared

[Erin]

I've never been this scared

[Erin]

I used to have hope for the future but now that it's here I don't want it

[Erin]

I used to blame my mom but I now know it's not her fault