it's personal discussion
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trying to feel like me again
message 11351:
by
Erin
(new)
Sep 30, 2021 11:10AM
I don't know why I thought she'd be different today
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so I just realized it really is my fault that my therapist didn't show up because I wasn't the one who showed up because she sent it to another email after saying ti was going to my school email thinking the other one was my school email so yeah it's all my fault I feel worse and great I just missed a session and who knows when I'll actually talk to her
honestly i don't want to anymore, I'm tired
Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing here
I was so ready to leave when I turned 18
but then I stayed because I let her convince me
but the fact that I'm still not anywhere close to even just being okay sucks
I just had therapy for the first time in forever :D
It's like I was watching myself be somebody else
I should have told her everything instead I just went with the basics and then covered it with how I was coping
I didn't tell her that the reason why I haven't had an anxiety attack at work in awhile is because I've been dissociating
or how everyone keeps telling me that I'm too quiet
She asked me if I thought I needed to go to the hospital
I said "Because I'm managing a lot better than I used to"
and I think I let myself believe me too
but I'm not doing any better than I was before
If you leave me broken I'll stay broken
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
