trying to feel like me again Showing 10,801-10,850 of 14,783

[Erin]

Sorry for disappearing

[Erin]

I'm kind of angry rn

[Erin]

The one time I try to start responding to roleplays again goodreads screws it up

[Erin]

And now I don't want to rewrite it

[Erin]

because I don't remember everything I said

[Erin]

So

[Erin]

I'm stuck

[Erin]

between okay and not okay

[Erin]

and somewhere

[Erin]

and yesterday

[Erin]

and I'm allowed to be angry

[Erin]

and pissed off

[Erin]

and I'm allowed to feel sick to my stomach because my mom's near my dad and so is my brother

[Erin]

And I hate this

[Erin]

Everything

[Erin]

I barely come on here anymore

[Erin]

I can't remember why I used to

[Erin]

I don't feel happy

[Erin]

Everybody I care about or cared about is either gone or makes me sad or I have trouble talking to

[Erin]

Erin wrote: "I know that I was like stop making fun of yourself Erin. In 2018, that's not allowed but I'm just so fun to laugh at."

Bahaha

[Erin]

2018?

[Erin]

This journal has been through 3 years of bullshit lmao

[Erin]

Erin wrote: "I can't wait for school to be back. Let's just let my anxiety get worse and worse and worse all because I can't swallow a damn pill."

Now I can swallow a billion at once

[Erin]

Oh how I've grown

[Erin]

Erin wrote: "There's other ways, other things that can help."

Yes there is hence why you got off your depression meds and don't take your anxiety ones

[Erin]

Erin wrote: "Maybe that's why I went on a walk to the park and felt my arm start to go numb."

OMG I REMEMBER THIS AHHHH THIS HAD BEEN FUN

[Erin]

I REALLY WANTED TO FREEZE TO DEATH BUT MY BROTHER WAS WITH ME SO I WENT BACK EARLY HAHA

[Erin]

I HAD JUST GOTTEN IN A FIGHT WITH MY MOM

[Erin]

BECAUSE SHE WAS BEING HER EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE SELF

[Erin]

He actually did end up getting a gun shit

[Erin]

Erin wrote: "I DONT WANT TO READ BOOKS ANYMORE."

Whaaaat

[Erin]

Erin wrote: "I'm a liar."

Erin wrote: "My doctor asked me if I ate three meals a day and I said yes XD"


Yes yes you are

You still are

[Erin]

Erin wrote: "I'm going to be cosplaying Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls."

Ahhhh I miss this

[Erin]

Erin wrote: "I'm a weird Human lolol"

YASSSSSS

[Erin]

Alia ~you are not your anxiety~ wrote: "Erin sorry to burst in like this but OH MY GOODNESS, you should read the book Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman.
It's great for anyone to read but for you all in particular...

I won't say any mo..."

Shit I remember this. I've read this book multiple times since then ahhh

[Erin]

Erin wrote: "Eww human emotions."

Lmao

[Erin]

Erin wrote: "It's called On The Edge, which is how I got the name for this journal XD It's about an everyday person's struggle with anxiety and learning to find your voice and yourself but then I've also manage..."

Did I ever finish this musical oof

[Erin]

Aweee you're the best <3

[Erin]

I didn't finish it though

[Erin]

I actually end up back in the hospital when I was supposed to be writing the ending so

[Erin]

Welp

[Erin]

I guess I've been avoiding it because of that and because of that girl I loved

[Erin]

because we met because of my music, because of my writing

[Erin]

I hate that I let her take that from me

[Erin]

but in the end it really wasn't her fault

[Erin]

We were way too young and I was way too much for someone like her and I get that now

[Erin]

Someone like her

[Erin]

What I mean is she was kind in a way that seemed to have gone extinct but not in the way that made you disgusted

[Erin]

She was kind and yet real

[Erin]

Real in the way she understood things far too deeply