trying to feel like me again Showing 10,701-10,750 of 14,783

[Erin]

to later on go back to college and graduate again to get a higher degree

[Erin]

now I don't even want to get through the night

[Erin]

I'm failing all of my classes

[Erin]

I don't just hate myself anymore

[Erin]

it's worse

[Erin]

I feel nothing about myself

[Erin]

I feel indifferent

[Erin]

I don't care what happens to me

[Erin]

hate was something I could work on

[Erin]

how do I battle indifference

[Erin]

I use multiple coping skills every single day

[Erin]

I teach myself to breathe every single day because I tend to forget

[Erin]

I have panic attacks

[Erin]

I cry

[Erin]

I get angry

[Erin]

and I just I don't give a damn about myself anymore

[Erin]

because I'm not a good person nor a bad person

[Erin]

I'm just a person who is struggling and who has sought help but who is still struggling

[Erin]

they told my mom it was because I wanted attention

[Erin]

the nurses at the hospital did

[Erin]

and it's like I've heard stories about that happening to other people but that had never happened to me

[Erin]

I never wanted anybody's attention

[Erin]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-41v...

[Erin]

why I wanted to be a songwriter, not a musican

[Erin]

a playwriter, not an actor or a director

[Erin]

or to use a persona/ alias

[Erin]

I didn't want the attention so I gave up most of the things I've wanted to do with my life

[Erin]

because the idea of anyone looking at me freaked me out

[Erin]

I don't even like eye contact but it got drilled into me when I was young so now I can't look away when someone's talking to me most of the day

[kavi ~he-him~]

Erin wrote: " Alex ~They/them~ ~Annabeth Chase and Alex Fierro are the best~ wrote: "Erin wrote: "okay but I read this thing the other day about how it makes sense that you fall in love with your friends and th..."

probably, even now my mind likes to confuse my platonic feelings with romantic feelings.

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwp8U..."

I love this song!"

ahhh just saw this yay :D

[Erin]

Alex ~They/them~ ~Annabeth Chase and Alex Fierro are the best~ wrote: "Erin wrote: " Alex ~They/them~ ~Annabeth Chase and Alex Fierro are the best~ wrote: "Erin wrote: "okay but I read this thing the other day about how it makes sense that you fall in love with your f..."

yeah I get that

[Erin]

I don't know what to do with myself

[Erin]

I think I just failed

[Erin]

because I couldn't fix my anxiety

[Erin]

because I can never fix my anxiety

[Erin]

because that's literally fucking impossible

[Erin]

but whatever

[Erin]

that's how my brain works

[Erin]

I just wanna die
and that's the truth

[Erin]

I tried to stop the screams
and the tears
and the cuts

[Erin]

but the harder I tried the more I felt fried

[Erin]

A deer in headlights

[Erin]

Headlights

[Erin]

Flashlights

[Erin]

Bad lines

[Erin]

I don't wanna be here anymore

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin, are you ok? Can I help at all?"

No and no

[Erin]

Its all good though

[Erin]

I'm an adult now