it's personal discussion
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trying to feel like me again
message 10501:
by
Erin
(new)
Feb 28, 2021 05:12PM
my gods
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my mom has been abused but that isn't an excuse for the way she's acting and it wasn't an excuse for my father's
and honestly if I ever become a serial killer those are the first two on my list, cops come at me
my brother wants to go in the law area lmao
so does my sister but she's more forensics
Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "my mom's new strategy lately is threatening me with physical abuse as if the emotional isn't enoughis it bad i wish she physically abused me so everybody..."
yeah, and it's all making me feel like I should of killed myself all the times I tried before
Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "my mom's new strategy lately is threatening me with physical abuse as if the emotional isn't enoughis it bad i wish she phys..."
yesss bad Erin's mom bad Erin's mom bad Erin-
I honestly just want to die at this point. Like if I knew I was dying tomorrow I'd have no regrets. I'd be completely at peace. This isn't how a young person should feel.
Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "my mom's new strategy lately is threatening me with physical abuse as if the emotional isn't enou..."me too!!!!!!!!! My mom told her I talk to her like she's a dog but I talk to dogs way better than I talk to her because at least the dogs show me that they love me XD
my mom wants to hang out tomorrow after my doctor's appointment and I feel like throwing up
every time I work hard every time i start to feel like maybe i ca do this
if my mom didn't have me, maybe this wouldn't be happening
if he hadn't been able to have kids like he said he couldn't
maybe my sister would have gotten out sooner
maybe he wouldn't be ere twisitng her thoughts and feelingsmaybe they'd be happy.
I wish I was the one that died. Not my brother. I wish I was the baby that died if there had to be a baby that died. I wish I could have taken his place.
I don't want the pain to end. I just don't want to fucking exist.
anyways I'm done.
igtg goodreads isn't letting me comment again
still thinking about committing suicide or homicide or maybe even try some genocide
and if it had been anybody else, things would've worked out so well
and now I'm quoting words to a song I haven't heard in awhile
and I wish somebody else would kill me so I could stop feeling so damn guilty
because even after everything my mother's done I am still addicted to trying to please her and make her happy
I have done everything to make her hate me
and I don't regret any of it because I should have done it sooner
i still fucking love her and i still want her to be okay and I'm so scared of leaving her by herself and I wish she would get better so bad
Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "still thinking about committing suicide or homicide or maybe even try some genocide"No"
yesssss. come on, it'll be fun
i still fucking love her and i still want her to be okay and I'm so scared of leaving her by herself and I wish she would get better so bad
Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "still thinking about committing suicide or homicide or maybe even try some genocide"No"
yesssss. come on, it'll be fun"
Well maybe the middle one lol"
ooh all three at the same time
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
