trying to feel like me again Showing 10,151-10,200 of 14,783

[Erin]

I wish I wasn't here

[Erin]

like at all

[Erin]

I wish my mom kept her legs closed

[Erin]

instead of having me

[Erin]

or I wish I could successfully kill myself instead of stopping because I'm worried about everyone else

[Erin]

I wish I could kill myself because I want to

[Erin]

instead of worrying about everyone I leave behind

[Erin]

I'm like I want to scream

[Erin]

and I really wanna die

[Erin]

and I hate myself for being this way

[Erin]

but there is nothing or anybody who can change my mind

[Erin]

because I don't want to get better

[Erin]

I just want it to be over

[Erin]

because the longer I'm alive, the more I want to kill myself

[Erin]

and I'm scared if I don't kill myself now, I'm going to do something really bad

[Erin]

I'm tired

[Erin]

and my body hurts so bad

[Erin]

and breathing is hard

[Erin]

and I think I keep getting worse

[Erin]

and so that's that

[Erin]

so to whoever gives a damn, don't.

[Erin]

just stop.

[Erin]

focus on yourself.

[Erin]

better yourself.

[Erin]

become stronger than ever.

[Erin]

because I can't keep living like this

[Erin]

because this isn't okay

[Erin]

and I keep giving myself goals or reasons to live and they're not enough

[Erin]

because I'm never going to be enough

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "so to whoever gives a damn, don't."

Sorry I give a damn and I'm not going to stop."

please, it's better if you stop now.

[Erin]

i just want to disappear or to fall asleep and never wake up or for everybody to forget that I exist

[Erin]

i just want to not feel like i'm fucked up

[Erin]

i want to feel stable

[Erin]

i want to be stable

[Erin]

i wish i didn't want to kill myself

[Erin]

but i can't stop

[Erin]

i keep trying but I can't

[Erin]

and I really really tried so hard to be able to manage it better

[Erin]

to be able to accept them and work through it

[Erin]

but I've failed so much

[Erin]

and I just don't think I can do this anymore

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "so to whoever gives a damn, don't."

Sorry I give a damn and I'm not going to stop."

please, it's better if you stop now."

Nope, sorry and the more you t..."

okay, I'm sorry.

[Erin]

i'm tired

[Erin]

sorry

[Erin]

imma just go for now

[Erin]

I shouldn't have come on

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "imma just go for now"

Please don't do anything Erin. I know it's hard, and I can't say I've felt exactly what you're going through because that's impossible to say. But I'm here if yo..."

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "so to whoever gives a damn, don't."

Sorry I give a damn and I'm not going to stop."

please, it's better if you stop now."

N..."

Sorry to have made you worry, I'm fine now! :)

[Erin]

So I just found some old messages

[Erin]

well it was more of a rough draft

[Erin]

Of what i was planning to say