trying to feel like me again Showing 9,051-9,100 of 14,783

[Erin]

or the good days

[Erin]

or the things I try to do

[Erin]

or the help I try to get

[Erin]

but I really am trying

[Erin]

and for anyone else who is also struggling, I really don't mean to be triggering and I'm sorry if I am

[Erin]

I wanted this journal to show the journey of me to getting to self-love

[Erin]

and there's a lot of struggle that comes up with that

[Erin]

it's not an immediate thing

[Erin]

and it takes hard work and dedication

[Erin]

and sometimes things just go wrong

[Erin]

and whether or not you understand mental health

[Erin]

I hope you're all taking care of yourselves <3

[Erin]

I like how sometimes I'm direct and other times I forget that other people can see this lmao

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "You're not a mess, and please.don't die."

I am though. and I'm trying ahh :D"

I know.:) It was a reminder not a criticism. :)"

thank you :) and yeah I get you. I wasn't trying to be rude (honestly!) I'm just stressed with trying to want to be alive and all that mental stuff in my brain lol so sorry if I came cross that way

[Erin]

my mom is honestly getting to me really bad

[Erin]

and I hate how she makes me feel

[Erin]

I love her so much but she doesn't seem to get how triggering she can be

[Erin]

and I hate that she triggers me

[Erin]

and I feel guilty all the time and I hate that

[Erin]

I just wish she could see that I'm trying harder

[Erin]

that I'm always trying harder

[Erin]

for her sake

[Erin]

and it's like I'm just so sad that I'm this fucked up

[Erin]

that loving her feels like hating myself

[Erin]

that I can't breathe in my own home

[Erin]

that home never feels like home

[Erin]

I miss Allison

[Erin]

she feels like home

[Erin]

but even her

[Erin]

idk

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "You're not a mess, and please.don't die."

I am though. and I'm trying ahh :D"

I know.:) It was a reminder not a criticism. :)"

thank you..."

thanks :)

[Erin]

goodreads would not let me comment

[Erin]

it kept saying error

[Erin]

but I'm glad that it's working today

[Erin]

I feel like an imposter

[Erin]

that was my last line the other day

[Erin]

but I deleted it

[Erin]

in hopes it'd somehow make me be able to work

[Erin]

(it didn't!)

[Erin]

I'm feeling really sing-y today

[Erin]

like I just wanna sing

[Erin]

or write song lyrics

[Erin]

or idk

[Erin]

just something

[Erin]

I feel stressed

[Erin]

and I can't focus

[Erin]

and I keep trying and trying

[Erin]

but it's hard when I can't seem to remember how to breathe

[Erin]

panic attacks come from nowhere sometimes

[Erin]

and my mom still asks why