trying to feel like me again Showing 8,951-9,000 of 14,783

[Erin]

im so tired

[Erin]

and this isn't fair to the people who love me

[Erin]

but you wanna know what sucks?

[Erin]

a part of me doesn't even care

[Erin]

i wanna die so badly

[Erin]

im just so sick and living hurts so bad

[Erin]

and everything hurts

[Erin]

and im tired of seeing the shitty people

[Erin]

and only the shitty people and the shitty things

[Erin]

ahhh shit curfew

[Erin]

idk what Imma do

[kavi ~he-him~]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "I feel like I start spamming when I respond to comments"

Feel free to spam mine. XD"

same with mine

[kavi ~he-him~]

Erin wrote: "i wanna die so badly"

no dying please!! :(

[kavi ~he-him~]

ERIN, WE GETTING A PJO TV SHOW

[Delphinia (Dhamma ✿)]

Hey Erin 💜

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Please don't die"

we all die eventually though.

[Erin]

Alex ~They/them~ ~Annabeth Chase and Alex Fierro are the best~ wrote: "Erin wrote: "i wanna die so badly"

no dying please!! :("

postponing death I suppose, just for you guys <3

[Erin]

Delphinia (Dhamma ✿) wrote: "Hey Erin 💜"

Hi!!!!!! How are you???

[Erin]

Sorry if I freaked anyone out- I just reread what I wrote and whoa was I depressed and then I disappeared afterwards like idek XD

[Erin]

I uh got hospitalized again

[Erin]

That's what happens when you're depressed and you open up your mouth: people try to help you and if they can't, they send you somewhere where somebody else might be able to

[Erin]

I don't think it helped

[Erin]

but by the end it was a really toxic environment and I thought I'd try to kill someone so I ended up saying I was fine enough to leave

[Erin]

I mean I knew they couldn't keep me for long

[Erin]

I mean they could've but they didn't want me there

[Erin]

not really

[Erin]

I mean they're super full and stuff

[Erin]

Alex ~They/them~ ~Annabeth Chase and Alex Fierro are the best~ wrote: "ERIN, WE GETTING A PJO TV SHOW"

ALSO I KNOW!!!! I'm super excited omg

[Erin]

I just feel numb

[Erin]

like not the empty kind of numb

[Erin]

but the other kind of numb

[Erin]

the kind of numb where nothing really feels real and you're just kinda taking each day at a time but it's like time is moving really slow and really fast all at once and you don't even recognize yourself or what you're doing

[Erin]

and I'm failing school and I have no motivation to get caught up

[Erin]

because I don't really feel anything

[Erin]

I wake up.

[Erin]

I lay in bed until my mom tells me to come down for my meds

[Erin]

I go back to laying in bed being on my phone

[Erin]

I eat occasionally

[Erin]

Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "the kind of numb where nothing really feels real and you're just kinda taking each day at a time but it's like time is moving really slow and really fast all at once and you don't even..."

aw I'm sorry *hugs back*

[Erin]

and it's like I don't really want to die but I just really don't want to live

[Erin]

so I keep contemplating death

[Erin]

because it's what I'm used to

[Erin]

because that's what I always do

[Erin]

but like i don't care about anyone or anything

[Erin]

I really don't

[Erin]

and it sucks because I know I should

[Erin]

I know I used to

[Erin]

I know that these are people who love and care about me

[Erin]

but I don't know

[Erin]

I just don't know how to want to live