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trying to feel like me again
message 8501:
by
Erin
(new)
Feb 04, 2020 08:47PM
after all this fucking time
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I wish I could just grow up and get over it
There's this boy in my bio class and I think he likes me
And then there's this other boy who I know likes me because of my sister's friend
I feel guilty because I'm not letting myself feel anything for them
and because I'm putting them in the same situation
I wish she could've just broken my fucking heart so I could have a reason to get over her
I thought telling her was the right thing
She didn't seem like the type to like confrontation
I've been hospitalized twice over depression
that I literally feel like just so fucking tired
and I'm doing nothing that makes me happy anymore
barely writing, not youtubing, or reading, or roleplaying or anyhting
and when I think of her I think of everything that could have been
and of how much I will continue to fuck up
none of them tell me a fucking damn thing
suicidal tendencies break downs flashbacks
wanna diewanna cry
feeling so fucking low
don't know where else to go
i'm falling
i'm falling
thought i was falling for you
but hey
it's just me again
me again
saying hello to my depression
welcome back old friend
i knowyou were never really gone
just my meds made you feel so fucking far away
but truth is
you're my next door neighbor and you'll always be inside my brain
I'm blue for youI'm blue for you, my darling
working on being okay
being okay for you, my darling
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
