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trying to feel like me again
message 7951:
by
Erin
(new)
May 26, 2019 07:13PM
did i just-
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There's these lgbtq+ people bashing these other lgbtq+ people and that's just not fucking right
This month is about celebrating love and those who died because they weren't accepted for being a part of the lgbtq community and people are just really pissing me off
Oh and then there's the stupid guy asking for a fucking straight pride month as if that's even okay like wtf
And then there's the whole abortion thing like just fucking let woman be in charge of their fucking bodies
ALSO PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE SEX OR TO FUCKING WANT IT
Not all men are horny and just thinking about sex
And a woman's whole purpose isn't just having children
And it's okay for then to want children and it's okay for them to not
AND WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE STILL JOKING ABOUT RAPE/ SEXUAL ASSAULT IT IS NOT FUCKING OKAY
AND WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE STILL JOKING ABOUT RAPE/ SEXUAL ASSAULT IT IS NOT FUCKING OKAY
Not everyone wants a significant other, not everyone wants a romance
Sometimes friend love and family love is enough
Jk I just really wanted to change the title of this journal so tah da
I was just trying to find the perfect title, you know?
I guess it's time for me to be honest and to open up
So I've been suicidal for a really long time and I'm still not even sure how or why I'm alive right now
I mean I kinda know but I'm also kinda don't- I don't really know how to explain it
I've been to a mental hospital twice over the last few months and I didn't have a bad experience, so I really am lucky in that department
I'm out of school now- I just finished my freshman year of high school as of yesterday
I think I know what college I want to go to
I really am trying to get better and to love myself but of course it's really hard
Some days it feels closer than others and sometimes days it's like I never took that step closer at all
I just really hope you all learn to love yourselves one day soon and if you already do I am so proud of you
And one day it might be enough to destroy the hate
Omg so I forgot I changed my title and almost started crying when I couldn't find it
So to answer your question, yes I am an emotional teenager
Okay but I got this book from the library and it's all about philosophy and shit because lately philosophy has just really gotten my interest but like I haven't actually started reading it but on the front flap it's talking about how humans are loosing their abilities to wonder because everything has been discovered on Earth and so we've stopped trying to create stuff but like idk
But then a part of me agrees and I just feel so fucking conflicted
Like so much of the ocean hasn't been discovered yet and there's like no one answer that everyone listens to when it comes to religion and flying cars haven't really been invented yet and there's so much of our universe that we have to discover and we're only beginning to with Mars
And I just don't know. I really don't.
The conversation my mind just had: "Erin has a word that rhymes with no knife."
"NO LIFE!"
*gasp* "How could you...? That stung. It really did. But not as bad as my hand is about to sting your face." *tries to slap*
*Catches hand*
"HAHA YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT ME!!"
*tickles with other hand*
"OH NO WHAT IS THIS FORM OF TORTURE???"
"I am your worst nightmare on a vacation from hell."
I have no idea how it hit and caught and tickled but it did
I want ice cream so badly for like obvious reasons, I mean it's ice cream
I was gonna say for no reason but ice cream is like the obvious reason
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
