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trying to feel like me again
message 7651:
by
Erin
(new)
Feb 24, 2019 09:46PM
I hate myself.
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What's the point of living if all I'm going to do is die?
I've tried so hard that I've made myself sick
I really want Allison right now but I don't want her to worry anymore
My nephew is crying and he's being comforted by my mom and his mom and I'm just so alone because I'm always hiding
I miss when I felt like I belonged here
I don't even remember what that feels like
Goodnight, take care, and try to love yourself.
My plans got changed to next weekend with my friends too
I'm tired and I'm behind in school and I kinda want to drop out just for the sake of not being who my parents expect me to be
not that my dad expects me to be anything
He's a horrible person and I don't even know why I still call him dad inside my head
maybe it's just because it's simply easier
I'm a horrible person and I don't know why everyone keeps lying to me because it's the truth
I didn't have control in being born but my mom can still get upset over the fact that I hate myself
I don't feel real sometimes and right now is one of those times
It's like I'm alive but not really living
and maybe that's why it feels like I can't move sometimes
sometimes I wish they'd just lock me up in a hospital just so I can be afraid of never getting out
and just so I can sleep without being surrounded by a family that's supposed to ve mine but feels so far away
Mom tells me to love myself but she never taught me how
Every example she's given me has led to her relying on a man that helped her fall apart
And I love her and that's why I have to leave her
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
