trying to feel like me again Showing 7,151-7,200 of 14,783

[Tamra]

im sure your not that bad

[Erin]

well you're wrong, I'm horrible XD

[Erin]

I make it up with somewhat good lyrics though lol

[Erin]

Writing is the only thing I can do even a little bit well

[Erin]

Naturally, I mean

[Erin]

Everything else takes studying or practice or idk

[Tamra]

is that you in the pic?

[Erin]

Yep, it's a me XD

[Tamra]

You look pretty ^_^

[Erin]

Yay, my mom told me that's the happiest she's seen me in a while when she took it lol

[Erin]

Also I'm sorry but hahaha I seem nice, I think you'll be disappointed XD also I'd thought we were already friends too but I thought wrong apparently lol

[Tamra]

lol nice, I honestly want hair like urs.

[Erin]

that happiness is why she thinks I should play the guitar more

[Erin]

I think so too

[Erin]

I just feel like I don't have the time though

[Tamra]

i have always wanted to play.

[Erin]

TJ wrote: "lol nice, I honestly want hair like urs."

omg thanks, I hate my hair most of the time tho

[Tamra]

i gtg, but I will be back around 7 AM tomorrow Central time. ^_^ bye for now <3

[Erin]

I honestly just miss being able to braid it XD

[Erin]

TJ wrote: "i gtg, but I will be back around 7 AM tomorrow Central time. ^_^ bye for now <3"

bye!! Have a good rest of your day!!

[Tamra]

you too

[Erin]

TJ wrote: "i have always wanted to play."

and me too. I want to learn every instrument though. life will be disappointed.

[Erin]

and thanks!!

[Erin]

I hate them

[Erin]

and I hate how that's not even true

[Erin]

because they're just children and they don't have to grow up yet

[Erin]

and one day they will, and these will feel like the good times

[Erin]

It's just

[Erin]

they're crying over so many stupid shit and screaming, and here I am, just wishing I was already dead because what the fuck is even the point

[Erin]

and I know I said I'll live but I just wish I could stop

[Erin]

I can't keep doing this, I know

[Erin]

I just wish my life was already over. I don't want an afterlife, I just am so tired of existing

[Erin]

I keep hugging my mom and telling her about how I'm sad

[Erin]

but it still feels like she's not even here

[Erin]

and I wish I could get a hold of her

[Erin]

I really do

[Erin]

how can she feel so far a part when I haven't even left the country yet, let alone the state or cityy or even house

[Erin]

gotta go paint, see Y'all later

[[deleted user]]

come back!! i haven't spoken to you in forever!

[Erin]

oh no!! I'm so sorry, I wish I saw this sooner!! I'm sorry!!

[Erin]

And what I painted last night looks horrible so now I'm even more sad aweee

[Erin]

*hugs back* I'm sorry, I really wish I could stop adding all my negative energy in a world full of it, but I just can't seem to stop. And thank you. I wouldn't want to take any of your happiness though because you deserve all you can get. I've missed you, too, and I care about you too.

[Erin]

I'm a terrible person

[Erin]

I keep thinking about how I can't wait to leave

[Erin]

I don't even want to live but I can overthink college and road trips and searches for mermaids and fairies and whatnot

[Erin]

I'm scared

[Erin]

My older sister, Sasha is kinda being really stupid right now

[Erin]

And so is my mom and I get that but this is my mom's house, she pays the rent, and Sasha can't afford to keep messing up

[Erin]

She was supposed to be gone by Jan 1st but then my mom extended the deadline to Feb 1st and then she goes and starts talking about quitting her job

[Erin]

And it's like maybe she has other family members who can take her in, but there's a reason she went to us first, isn't there?