it's personal discussion
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trying to feel like me again
Alex loves Palaye Royale ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Shadow of Whales) (Bvbarmy) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "~Erin~ wrote: " Alex loves Palaye Royale ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Shadow of Whales) (Bvbarmy) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "btw Erin, so at my college there was this girl who w..."YAYYYY
Alex loves Palaye Royale ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Shadow of Whales) (Bvbarmy) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: " Alex loves Palaye Royale ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Shadow of Whales) (Bvbarmy) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "~Erin~ wrote: " Alex loves Palaye Royale ~They/them~ (The Phoenix R..."JUST SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS GRYFFINDOR AND MAYBE SHE'LL HEAR XD'
TJ wrote: "i love you!"thanks, I wish I could love me too.
like I almost flipped out on my sister this morning because she was just pissing me off
and my mom's boyfriend literally left work early because he got annoyed with a machine like wtf
and then my sister and her boyfriend left work earlier too
and so I'm just fucking annoyed with everyone
I pretended like I didn't know where they came from
It just surprised me that they discovered them so quickly
tbh I was paranoid that they already knew, that everyone knew, because I just I don't even know
and I kept wondering why they weren't asking and then I started thinking that maybe they understood and would never ask, or that maybe they just didn't care
but then Alec went and proved me wrong
god, he loves me so much and he cares and he trusts me, and I'm just such an asshole
wtf did I cut my arms? legs would have been better because I hate shorts
TJ wrote: "aww *hugs*"*hugs back*
TJ wrote: "why"
I don't even really know. I'm just confused.
TJ wrote: "thats stupid"
and omg ikr, my mom is literally so angry right now and I'm surprised their not fighting.
TJ wrote: "you cut?"
I guess. I don't know. It's new. I still can't tell if it's over or not. My mood is just a mess.
TJ wrote: "i cut before."oof I'm sorry. Life just sucks sometimes.
I keep calling it a coping mechanism but coping is supposed to be positive so it isn't really.
yeah it does, i cut cuz of my parents making me so mad
like one one day and then one the next day
Is it bad I can't remember when I did it lol
I'm just bothered that they haven't gone away yet. using my nails always made them go away but then again that's not really cutting, it's just scratching. I just did it because I knew I could get away with it
my parents threatened to pour alcohol on mine
TJ wrote: "yeah it does, i cut cuz of my parents making me so mad"That makes sense. I can't cut because of anyone else though, because then it feels like I'm pushing the blame onto them- even though some people really do deserve it. I just can't. I guess it's easier being harder on myself.
TJ wrote: "ive done it like 6 or 7 times"ahhh do you still cut? or have things improved any?
Em, I'm sorry.Gods I really do hate that. That I'm sorry, I mean. It just sounds so stupid and pathetic and it's never going to be enough to change anything so I don't know why I keep repeating it. It's like one of those overplayed songs on the radio. I'm sorry. Omg dammit.
It just sounds so unemotional, like I'm pushing away anything you're feeling and I'm not trying too. It's just an easy thing to say but not the right thing either. I don't know if what I'm saying even makes any sense.
HMM WAS THE WORD I WAS LOOKING FOR. I KEPT MAKING THAT SOUND WITH MY MOUTH AND I JUST FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT IT WAS, NOT EM. LIKE WTF SAYS EM. ALTHOUGH THEY DO SOUND SIMILARLY AND I KINDA LIKE EM LOL
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
I JUST NEED TO FIND HER AND HOPEFULLY I SEE HER THIS SEMESTER