it's personal discussion
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trying to feel like me again
message 6901:
by
Erin
(new)
Jan 15, 2019 07:03PM
It's already 10 oh my
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whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop
I had to do it.
I had to do it.
Valentine Horratio Ransome "Jeff the Killer" ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ ~FREAK~ ~Little Miss Political Agenda~ ~WIZARD!~ ~Sunshine~ wrote: "Yeah, but eww *shudders* I'm a lil baby. ;P Lol, studying science what joys *sarcasm* (unless of course you actually like it XD I don't)."
Haha XD
OMG SAMEEE THO (I hate science with a passion XD) I have to study it more tonight *cries*
Trey wrote: "whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopI had to do it."
yay I feel so proud XD
My mom's pissing me off again, how nice
I'm not even in the same room as her but omg
Yeah use me and Alec as your excuse like wtf
Like yay that's such a supportive mother
And yay I know I'm lucky that she's not super against my sexuality or anything but still
And she wonders why Alec refuses to put his correct info on a doctor's form
Why let a doctor call you by your correct pronouns if you can't even get your mother to use them?
Ugh I have to go in there to take my medication -_-
I think I'm just going to sleep afterwards XD
Erin's so tired and doesn't wanna study anymore
Thank you :) I, I think I'm falling a part again.
How are you??
He hoped to fly, even as he was falling he still hoped. It wasn't until he felt his arm go numb that he realized what he'd done. He waited for someone, anyone, to come and get him, to find him. However, after a while of just sitting there and thinking and waiting, he realized he no longer wanted to be found waiting for someone to get him. So he got up and walked himself to the hospital, the same hospital his mom worked at, but he didn't want to see his mom. He knew she would be disappointed if he told her the truth of what he did, that she would finally see just how big of a mess her son really was. Nobody could know. If people knew, the entire future his mother had been working for, that he'd been working for would be gone in a flash. If people knew, they'd hate him just like he hated himself. They'd say it was all for attention, but it wasn't, it was just the feeling of not mattering of feeling like you're not worth it like none of this is worth it. It's knowing you're a burden but being unable to do a damn thing about it. Idk what this is but yep I just start wording words XD
I can't take my depression medicine today
And it's really bad because I've had a really horrible day and my thoughts really suck right now
And it's like apparently bad to miss a day and now I'll be missing three
It's just I can't stop thinking about dying and just death in general
And I really should stop thinking like this before I see a therapist because they can't know this
They're supposed to help but being suicidal isn't confidential
I'm actually really happy for her and stuff
I want to message her but I don't know what to say and I'm afraid that I'll somehow hurt her and I just, I don't know what to do
We we're watching this movie in one of my classes today and this girl tried to kill suicidal and people were laughing about it being dramatic but in the movie the girl's mother cared so much and wanted to get her help so much
I told my mom I was suicidal and she did nothing
She promised medicine and for months I didn't get it, is it going to be the same with therapy
I mean therapy might not even help because I'm bad at the whole speaking thing
I guess when you make something seem past tense people believe it especially when they want too
I hate that I relate to Evan so much because it really hurts
And they were just laughing while I was trying so hard not to cry, to just not fall a part
But I'm not and right now I just don't really give a fuck about anything or anyone
No wait that's wrong so very wrong because I care about her and Allison and Alec and mary
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
