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trying to feel like me again
message 6701:
by
Erin
(new)
Jan 12, 2019 09:54PM
so fucking stupid
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and I can keep pretending to be happy, but we all know that I'm not
they can see changes with the medicine so why can't I?
I still feel so depressed and I still want to die and maybe that's a side effect of the medicine or maybe I just never stopped wanting it
It's just there when nothing and nobody else is
and I keep talking about the future, I guess that's the only real reason I'm alive
still hoping for a future I'm not even sure I want
and it's funny because I keep jpking about dropping out of school because if I do that then I erase the future I've worked so hard to create
and the person I've tried so hard to avoid, I'd become instantly
and then maybe they'd all just let me die
i say i'm afraid that they'll lock me up in some mental ward but I keep giving them all the reasons to
I don't even want to be fucking alive and that makes me a terrible person
Loving them is just putting a burden on them
I like how the reason why I left was because of this negativity and now it's not even been a full month and here I go again
I made a video about self-love and here I am
oh no the secrets out, stupid big mouth of mine.
Haha I commented on wrong thread,so funny but NO BEING SCARED
Hey Erin! I missed you a lot! Anyway, I thought I should tell you that you're an amazing person, and I don't think that self-love will come overnight. It might take a while, but never give up :) Meanwhile, remember that we love you very, very much.
Trey wrote: "Haha I commented on wrong thread,so funny but NO BEING SCARED"wait did you? I could've sworn I said something about vampireness at some point. but you're right, the person who commented wasn't that scary XD
Hallie wrote: "Hey Erin! I missed you a lot! Anyway, I thought I should tell you that you're an amazing person, and I don't think that self-love will come overnight. It might take a while, but never give up :) Me..."Heyy Hallie, I missed you a lot too! And thanks for telling me that (although I'll always disagree), and you're right about that. And I know it, too, it's just every time I seem to step away from the line of loving myself and I just get so angry at myself for being such a disappointment to myself, if that makes any sense, like I can't love myself but I can still feel disappointed when I hate myself. But yeah, I'm trying~ Also, you too, seriously don't give up.
OMG I LITERALLY JUST HEHE'D LIKE THAT'S HOW I LAUGHED
MY LIFE HAS BEEN CONFIRMED TO BE A LIE
OH NO I MIGHT AS WELL DROP OUT OF SCHOOL NOW
BECOME THE DISAPPOINTMENT WE ALL KNOW I'LL BE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXp2r...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RT4p0...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEXCP...
^That explains the last half hour of my life XD
ERIN IS SUPER EXCITED BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO WRITE
WAIT SHIT I HAVE HOMEWORK AND EXAMS NEXT WEEK
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
