it's personal discussion
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trying to feel like me again
I'm like crying and my eyes ache cuz I kept rubbing them
I haven't taken my meds yet cuz my mom's gone but they don't work much anyway
Valentine Horratio Ransome "Jeff the Killer" ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ ~FREAK~ ~Little Miss Political Agenda~ ~WIZARD!~ ~Sunshine~ wrote: "Who is she?"My older sister, the one that lives in a different state from me with her Dad's side of the family
Oh, and her dad's down there now too *rolls eyes*
Drugs, shot himself in the foot, pushed my mom into a fridge, is literally mentally abusive....yeah great guy
Valentine Horratio Ransome "Jeff the Killer" ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ ~FREAK~ ~Little Miss Political Agenda~ ~WIZARD!~ ~Sunshine~ wrote: "It's okay. I find the best remedy for depression is something that makes you happy. Usually for me that's talking with people I love or imagining it."What should I do if the things that make me happy usually aren't having that affect? I don't know why, but lately writing hasn't made me happy nor reading, and they're the things I always go to.
Valentine Horratio Ransome "Jeff the Killer" ~Phantom of the Library~ ~Mr Flirt~ ~FREAK~ ~Little Miss Political Agenda~ ~WIZARD!~ ~Sunshine~ wrote: "Oh. I'm sorry."It'll be fine. She's probably getting more down there than we could give her here. And her father...well, he's not the best but at least her uncle and Aunt are there to supervise them
And she had the decency to talk about my father based off assumptions, that just pissed me off.
I don't want anything to do with him, even if what happened isn't true
And my mom's like use him for money, he'll want you to go to college
I don't want to know him. I don't need anymore family.
I honestly don't know why I'm so upset today.
I'm kinda annoyed with myself at this point lol
I do like music. That's something that'll probably never stop because there's always something new to listen to and something for the mood. While with writing there's the need for thinking and inspiration and with reading there's the need of processing and keeping my eyes open xD
I like how I just say mom and mom's now instead of writing out my XD
The food was good until I got tired of chewing so I started rushing lol
Ah, I feel ya with that. And thanks, I did! :D
omg I think I just realized that I've never actually carved a pumpkin before and now I'm a little upset because it seems weird
like I can't recall a time when I carved one but I thought I did
ahhh everything feels different after this realization
I just watched someone carve a NaNoWriMo pumpkin on youtube and now I'm just like AHHH WHERE DID I NOT CARVE A PUMPKIN
I don't know what to write next month for NaNoWriMo
I have a bunch of ideas but I can't seem ti settle on one
I thought I knew what I wanted to write but now I don't
how do other people make decisions cuz I can't
How did I decide to write Our Beautiful Enchantress? Hmm, I don't remember.
It kinda just felt like the only choice
I'm actually going to try to write a whole novel next month, not just meet the word count goal
Imma list my ideas, or at least some of them
#1: If I Was Broken Death is forced to remember how to feel when the Gods decide that Death is too boring so they throw them down to the mortal world. They say that Death will only be allowed to come back when Death remembers how to feel and learns to respect the humans, instead of seeing them as a lesser being. Or so they say.
The story is written in first person from Death's perspective, and it's in a format of a letter. Death is writing to someone years after this event took place and they're trying to tell the story so that it won't be lost. They're also trying to come to terms with everything that has occurred. Death meets a lot of different characters that have really big impacts on their life. Death isn't just telling his story, he's telling all of theirs.
#2: Until The Last Candle BlowsThe world is ending for that Sarah is sure. Only nobody else seems to think so. The sun is still there and there aren't aliens in the sky or robots going about. Everyone says Sarah is crazy. Well, not just Sarah. It's her entire family- they've been insane since the beginning of time. It's unfortunate that Sarah inherited the crazy because she always seemed like a bright girl, everyone had high expectations for her. Sarah had always wanted to separate herself from the rumors about her family. She wasn't like that, she swore. It took years, but she finally convinced people after years of being away from her family. Everything had started looking up for her until the start of the end of the world. Follow Sarah as she tries to convince her small town of Erast that the worlds really ending.
I feel like the second one's written better but the first one is the novel I've been prepping for this entire month
#3: The Loneliness of DrowningShe was just a girl. I didn't know her. Maybe she'd seen me around before and decided it was okay to approach me like we weren't strangers, or maybe I just happened to be there by chance. I wasn't sure. Even to this day, I'm still not sure if what happened actually happened or if it was all just a dream. It was some day in late fall and I'd been sitting at a park on a swing because no matter how old I got, swinging would always feel like the place that brought me home.
She walked up to me and just stood there. Her face had a big smile on it, but her eyes looked a bit weary, a bit sad. She didn't say anything, just stared, and for a moment I was afraid she was preparing herself to confess her feelings to me. I guess in a way she did, but it wasn't love she felt. I can't even describe the way she felt, but I could feel it radiating off of her, to me like the radio waves of some song.
"Uh, hi." I said, breaking the silence that I sometimes wish I hadn't. "Can I help you?"
"Maybe some day things will actually start to get better. Maybe things will actually look up for you. Maybe you should take that chance at that maybe, instead of a chance at your life."
The next thing I know I was crying and she was gone. I never saw her again, but that doesn't mean that she wasn't with me. Her words became a sort of mantra, inspiring me, motivating me. She showed me how lonely drowning could be and for that, I remained forever grateful.
why r cheez-its so good??? i've become obsessed.
aye. apparently I haven't been here in November yet, so aye. that's it, just aye.
I'm joking, I've just been busy with NaNo and other writing projects and school and mental health and emotional health and health in general and ugh
I'm debating whether I should give NaNo up or what
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
*hugs back*