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trying to feel like me again
message 6251:
by
Erin
(new)
Sep 01, 2018 08:14AM
Ahhhh
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I always feel like I'm going to end up messing them up
I want to say mom would understand but idk
It's even worse because we're making her pack our lunches this year instead of going through the free lunch thing
It'll be easier though and it'll mean I'll have less of a chance at passing out at school whoo, although to be fair I wasn't eating breakfast at the time either
Seriously though, I knew that not eating made me dizzy but I allowed myself to pick up way too many bad habits
It's like even though I was used to doing something for so long I easily stopped doing it because of fear, which led to the task seemingly being impossible
I haven't worked on On The Edge (the musical, not the journal) for so long. All I had to do was edit it. Oh, and then add music and stage directions. I think eventually I'll rewrite it but now I'm working on two big projects, so I don't have time to go back to it now
I swear I'm still not used to not posting here almost everyday. It feels like I've been gone for months every time XD
So I've started high school and I'm already so tired lol
I haven't had one good day since I've started
And health class only confirms how bad it is XD
I have homework that I should be working on but I seriously just need a break
My uncle had surgery today and my mom hasn't talked about it since I've been home so idk what's up
I'm kinda worried but at the same time they'd call if something super bad happened, right?
I keep getting emails from my old school about how I haven't turned in an assignment and every single time I feel like crying
I guess it's not really my old school since I never went to the high school
I used to never do homework on Saturdays, like I'd always wait for Sunday's. High school changed that -_-
Ahhhhh!!!! Aren't there like three London's in the US? And then there's also some outside of the US, right? My world studies teacher needs to be more specific or maybe I just need to be less of an idiot xD I can't tell if I'm supposed to be thinking about the US or England
And life is so stressful because I can't look at my grades all the time ahhhhh
I could be failing and not even realize it
I need like some access code thing to make a new progress book account for this school but I don't know how to get it
I don't want to ever talk to my counselor again so not him
Then again that's probably exactly who I'm supposed to ask
I plant so many seeds in a garden I'll never get to see
Maybe I have too many gardens planted in distances I'll never reach
Maybe I've lost my way once more and maybe I don't want you to see the mess I've made
I've turned you into a project, one I may never work on again
Because that's what I do best, never knowing how to get rest
Never giving up but never doing a thing
and I'll never learn to conquer this play
How can you compare the size of cities, cities you've never seen but somehow the name still rings?
How can you compare people to projects, is this your isolation scheme?
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
