it's personal discussion
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trying to feel like me again
message 5101:
by
Erin
(last edited May 18, 2018 10:55PM)
(new)
May 18, 2018 10:54PM
Whoa did not mean for that to be in caps
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But that's actually really sweet and there are many uses for hair anyway so even without the sweet meaning it's still not weird
Like how I just disagree with everyone? Me too XD
I'm not even disagreeing with EVERYONE
I like when I get in random moments where I decide to open up journals and just read the last page
Honestly there's only a few journals I've actually read fully
As the stalker, I need to change that.
Need to go back to the beginnings and read it all
I'll do that sometime this summer maybe
I'm planning on staying up all night, I'm great :D
Honestly I don't really feel like sleeping ever again
I honestly don't understand some things
Like love, life, death, humanity, perfection vs. good enough, etc. etc.
I'm scared my vision is getting worse and yet I don't wear my glasses like I'm supposed to except at school ugh
My mom has this thing with her eyes and I don't want it
Which is kinda impossible because of genes and shit but shush
Sometimes everything feels impossible and it hurts so fucking much and just damn
It's like you suddenly just lose focus on anything you've ever planned and maybe nine if it was planned just a lie you told yourself to make it feel like you knew exactly what you were doing when you had no idea
That's not how I want to explain it because that's not exactly what I mean
And just I'm tired of my words never being what I mean and for being a writer and a terrible writer at that
Why do I write? What was the reason I started to write? Why duck I pick up something and begin to write? Why did I want to make stories and create things? What has it all been for?
If nothing matters, then why am I still here? And if everything matters, then where am I going?
I should complete another item on my bucket list by writing the letter to my future self
This is my entire bucket list for this past week:•Write a Love Letter to Yourself. Open in 10 Years.
•Make an Origami Animal.
•Pull A Fun All Nighter
•Watch the Sunrise & Sunset
•Fill a Journal
•Start studying palm reading again
•Maybe try to get a regular update schedule for YouTube and to just make better videos
What if scientists lie and the placebo effect makes us believe we need it?
I didn't even write the letter earlier lol
How many days can I go without sleeping?
Can I stay awake for days and just become delirious?
I probably won't even last a full day.
I'll probably go to bed around 7ish am
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
