Beta Reader Group discussion
Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query
>
Query: Science Fiction
date
newest »
newest »
You start your blurb with backstory, which is usually considered a problem. Much like how backstory should seep in the novel, and only when necessary for the story, it should happen the same way in the blurb.I'm too tired right now to think of alternatives, but will try to take a stab at it in the morning.
I'm not wildly happy with this. Hopefully it will spark some ideas in your head. Mine is 135 words (as opposed to 205), and, as the supposed sweet spot is 100-150, there's room for adding.Augustine, along with her beloved partner Benjamin, both Preforms, welcome the colonists to their world. Boea has been terraformed by a group of Preforms; over millennium in preparation.
Augustine soon learns that these particular colonists weren’t the ones who sent them, over a thousand years ago. However, the newcomers seem kind, and share with Augustine the knowledge, wealth, and power of their culture. That sharing goes both ways, though, and soon the colonists are applying torturous machinery to the Preforms as a way to manipulate space-time for instantaneous travel.
Many Preforms have disappeared from all over Boea, including Benjamin. Augustine begins a search, intent to bring them all back. Oblivious of her ability, Augustine must find her missing people, her love, and uncover the mystery of what she is, and where she really came from.
The Seed House is a 102K science fiction novel.
Thanks Keith for the detailed feedback! I did notice that I have a bad habit of dumping backstory in my ms. Definitely need to kick the boring descriptions and spread it out over more action. I’ll take these ideas to heart thanks again for the help!
Looking at your blurb here:https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
I think you should meld that with what I outlined for you and give that a try.
Robotic beings called Preforms have been sent to their new, dead world, Boea, over a millennium ago for terraforming. Since then, they had finished their task, and wait for the arrival of their new masters for colonization. In preparation for the arrival, they had all changed their simple bodies to flesh and blood so that they can assimilate with the new colonists.
One Preform, Augustine, along with her loved one Benjamin, welcome the new people to their world, but soon discover that these particular colonists weren’t the ones who sent them over a thousand years ago. The newcomers seem kind and share with Augustine the knowledge, wealth, and power of their culture. The colonists learn more about the strange couple and their kind as well. A great ability the Preforms themselves didn’t know they had. When applied to torturous machinery, the Preforms are found to manipulate space-time for instantaneous travel, and are exploited for it.
Many Preforms disappear all over Boea, including Benjamin, where Augustine begins her search to bring them all back. Oblivious of her prized ability, not only must Augustine find her missing people and her love, but she must uncover the mystery of what she is, and where she really came from.
The Seed House is a 101,940-word science fiction novel, and the full manuscript is available upon request.