Group 164. Out of this World - Mod Scott

[David]

Sorry I put review up weeks ago and forgot to post the links ... oops!

[David]

Amazon
https://nam01.safelinks.protection.ou...

[Alex]

David wrote: "Amazon
https://nam01.safelinks.protection.ou......"

Thanks, David! I'm really glad you enjoyed it :)

[David]

😊

[Scott]

All good, just waiting for one more reviewer so that I can declare round two done.

[David]

https://nam04.safelinks.protection.ou...

[Scott]

Okay, the next review, third round, is due January 28. So get those books cracking. I acknowledge some people have finished third and fourth rounds already.

There's one more straggler for the second round which expired two days ago on Sunday, but she'd assured me she's nearly finished the book assigned.

[Jeanette]

Here's my review of Genesis: Pillars on Creation on Goodreads.

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Will post the Amazon links shortly. Sorry to be a day or two late in posting - I inadvertently read the new, combined version so it was a long read.

[Jeanette]

Amazon reviews on Genesis: Pillars of Creation

(different rating due to the different rating systems on Amazon and Goodreads)

.com https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-re...
.co.uk https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/customer-...

[David]

Thank you

[Jeanette]

You're welcome David :)

[Scott]

Thanks Jeanette, that's round two all done.

Why not post the review on Goodreads Australia... you're both from the same country!

[David]

😊

[Jessica]

Reviews for Voices in Crystal (Children of Stone) are complete. This was my fourth and final round.

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/review/R3GT974...

Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3WTG...

[Mary]

Jessica.
Thanks for this. Very good criticism that reads like a 5 star review :-) Hoping you read the others. I've understood the flaws as I have grown in the 4 years since this edition was published. Each of the subsequent books improves and the third has actually won reader awards. I am in the process of reformatting the first book and parts of the second to "slim down" the more laborious sections and improve the pacing. I would love to have you read the others in the series. I cannot thank you enough for this intelligent critique.

[Jeanette]

Round three review

Hi Jessica

Here are my reviews. Thanks for the read.

Stolen by Jessica Titone
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Amazon.com https://www.amazon.com/review/RTBJELY...
Amazon.co.uk https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/customer-...

Thanks :)

[S.D.]

This should be my last review, for Alex's Lioness of Cygni Five (different star rating for here and Amazon):

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

https://www.amazon.com/gp/review/R2DI...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/review/R2...

[Jeanette]

And my fourth and final round. Thanks Alex for a gripping read.

Alex Beecroft's Lioness of Cygnus Five

Goodreads https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Amazon.com https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-re...
Amazon.co.uk https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/customer-...

[Scott]

Thanks some of you. Looks like this group is drawing closer to its end. Remember, third round reviews due January 28, still a long way off.

[James]

My reviews for Genesis are here:

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-re...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/customer-...

This is my fourth and final review for this round. Thanks.

[Scott]

Thanks all. Interestingly, with Round Three not yet falling due, six of us have finished all. Two are still on third round, while two more have just one more review each.

[Scott]

Okay, three days until the third round review on Sunday. Two of you, please make sure you have your third round reviews up by then. Thanks!!

[Mary]

I've been out of town but I should be able to finish my round three.

[Mary]

I will be more like Monday afternoon :-( Unforeseen painting of self into a corner and not leaving enough time to read. The n off to the last Round.

[Scott]

David and Mary missed the third round review deadline. Mary thank you for letting us know. David could you respond please. Thanks.

[Mary]

A day late but not a dollar short

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

and pending

https://www.amazon.com/Tales-Nuisance...

[David]

Adding mine tonight....

[Scott]

Thanks both. So that's round three all done.

Only four more reviews left on the final deadline! Feb. 17 I think.

Mary, I loved your expression "not a dollar short." Haven't heard of it but it fits well!

Enjoy reading!

[James]

Thank you, Mary! I appreciate the review!

[Mary]

Scott wrote: "Thanks both. So that's round three all done.

Only four more reviews left on the final deadline! Feb. 17 I think.

Mary, I loved your expression "not a dollar short." Haven't heard of it but it fi..."

The actual saying is "A day late and a dollar short" meaning late and still not what was required. Thus I was late but met the requirement.

[S.D.]

This has been quite an interesting experience, all in all.

[Alex]

Thanks Jeanette! And thanks SD :) What great reviews :)

[Scott]

Thanks everyone for the positive comments for this group. Here is my last review for this group as participant. Not to worry, I'll stay on as moderator until the very last review is in. And there are only three left, with a final deadline of February 17.

Curses of Scale

https://www.amazon.com/review/R1DJ2HD...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3H61...

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

[S.D.]

Thanks for the review Scott. It adds to some of the consensus, so I know what to tweak for the next one!

[Jeanette]

Alex wrote: "Thanks Jeanette! And thanks SD :) What great reviews :)"

You’re welcome 😊

[S.D.]

Alex wrote: "Thanks Jeanette! And thanks SD :) What great reviews :)"

Quite welcome :)

[Mary]

Still going through the last book. Expect to post on time. I think I have another review coming as well

[Jennifer]

Posted my final review today.

GR is up, Amazon will be after they accept it.

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

[Scott]

Thanks, just two reviews left here for this group!

[Mary]

Here is my last one, waiting on Amazon

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

[S.D.]

Mary wrote: "Here is my last one, waiting on Amazon

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..."

Thanks Mary, I am glad you were able to challenge yourself and give an honest review here. The present tense is always going to be a bugger, I think, for a lot of folks.

[Scott]

Okay, one more review and then this group will be closed.

S.D., I don't normally comment on books outside the reviews, but since you brought it up, I don't think the present tense narration within your book is the key problem, i.e. just re-writing it in past tense would automatically fix it. I can suggest beta readers (if you had them before, then do it again) for your book with the mandates to show what isn't understood, or how the transitions between scenes and characters could be handled more clearly, or that motives can be inferred more through more description, behaviours, or dialogue, or omission of unnecessary parts that confuse more than clarify.

[S.D.]

Scott wrote: "Okay, one more review and then this group will be closed.

S.D., I don't normally comment on books outside the reviews, but since you brought it up, I don't think the present tense narration within..."

Thanks for the input. I will have to change something up, as I used a professional beta reading service, (with several participants), then a development editor, and none had this problem. But since it is becoming a common theme, I have to review some things.

[Scott]

Yeah, I've heard of something I call the familiarity effect. When an editor does a book over and over again, intimately knowing the plot, then he or she loses focus on what isn't easily understood.

The solution to that is to appoint a brand new editor and brand new beta readers who have never read it before.

Eventually over successive editions a book becomes so clear or just right that a new editor will have little to add.

[S.D.]

It's something I have to do going forward. Unfortunately, the book is locked in as it were - publishing contracts.

The beta readers did find quite a few things what were ironed out. I should have used more after the edits, however. There was only a handful of new faces and they gave me a clean bill of health. So I went on to querying, and as I landed a hand full of offers, I thought things were sorted.

Part of the issues just won't happen in follow ups, as I won't be trying to navigate time-travel, three different story-lines, flash-backs, fairy's mingling inside of heads, and otherwise. It wasn't a simple story I was trying to pull off.

[Scott]

Great. Contracts can be changed upon mutual consent, especially if the publisher sees the benefit. Good luck.

You had those features in your story? Oh darn. Would have loved to try it again.

[Jeanette]

S.D. wrote: "It's something I have to do going forward. Unfortunately, the book is locked in as it were - publishing contracts.

The beta readers did find quite a few things what were ironed out. I should have ..."

I enjoyed all those aspects of the story - I think there were a few places were it took a bit of re-reading to work out what was happening or transitions weren't clear, but probably wouldn't take a lot of changes to make that clearer, a few tweaks here and there. And especially in the first chapter (and perhaps paragraph) were it's important to hook the reader and not confuse them. Love the poetic prose :) just at times it was bit dense and could be clearer, imo. Then again, depends on your target audience. Readers of literary fiction might like it more.

[S.D.]

Jeanette wrote: "S.D. wrote: "It's something I have to do going forward. Unfortunately, the book is locked in as it were - publishing contracts.

The beta readers did find quite a few things what were ironed out. I..."

Transitions not being clear, and dense prose - those seem to be among the main problems that keep being brought up. Both may be items I can convince my publisher to accept in the next revision round (6 months from now), provided it doesn't alter the page-count significantly, and require too much reformatting.

I will have to figure something out, because I do want the novel to reach its full potential.

Anyways, thanks a ton for the feedback! Scot and so, too. It really is going above and beyond, and I appreciate it :)

[Scott]

The final deadline passed a few days ago and just one reviewer still had not submitted his last review by the final deadline, although he did three of the four reviews required. I'll contact him and ask him to expedite.

[Scott]

I was contacted by this late reviewer. He said he posted the reviews recently. I double-checked and the reviews have been posted on Amazon and Goodreads for the reviewer's last book, so I declare this round complete. This reviewer is supposed to post the links here, but given this is the very last review, I'm willing to overlook this, as the reviews indeed have been done.

Thank you all! It was my pleasure!