What are some typical self-publishing dilemmas?

[Patti (baconater)]

You guys dissing Sai King?

Not cool. Not freaking cool.

[Kath]

But true?

[Tim]

His stories are good - he just seems incapable of getting to the point. Or should I say...

Mary rushed into the diner, all out of breath. She had on that check shirt she'd grabbed from that good for nothing old man of hers right before he walked out on her, leaving her to manage the baby all on her own. If it wasn't for the good graces of Deke, the diner owner, she would have starved that first winter. Deke used to come over most every night, bringing a plate of whatever was left over from the night's griddle. They'd sit by the tiny camp stove that was Mary's only source of heat and warm themselves while she ate. Some nights they sat real close, and eventually the neighbourhood curtains started to twitch and tongues started to wag. But Mary didn't care. For once in her life she was finally happy.
'Whats up Mary?' Joe sad. Joe was the work experience kid. Three years living on the wrong side of the tracks had given him some hard knocks. The cut above his eye that he'd gotten the spring before, while single handedly defeating the Johnson Twins, who'd tried twin-handely to rob the Fort Pixie National Bank the day after the fedex truck had taken its gold reserves away. The twins were now serving 12 years apiece upstate for that little affair. Joe was still waiting for any kind of recognition.
'Hey joe,' Mary said. 'Is Deke around?'
'Haven'd seen him,' Joe said. He turned and called out, 'Mary Beth, You seen Deke?'
'Nah" a voice called from across the room. 'I think he went out.' Mary Beth was the waitress. She was eight months pregnant and prone to using her bump as a tray res. She said she didn't know who the father was, although most folks would lay money that it was either Carl the mechanic or Deke. Neither man would admit it [2.5 chapters of this drivel omitted for sanity].
'You maybe wanna call 911,' Mary called out. 'The gas station's on fire!'

[Tim]

Mary rushed into the diner, all out of breath. "The gas station's on fire!" she yelled.


Same story, to the point. ;)

[Kath]

But do you buy your books by the pound?

[Tim]

Rob wrote: "... But is it worth 7.99?"

If I wrote it? Yes of course it is!

Think about swimming costumes... the less there is, the more they cost!

Okay, stop thinking about swimming costumes now!

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

I keep on reading the thread title as 'self-punishing'

[Patti (baconater)]

Tim wrote: "Mary rushed into the diner, all out of breath. "The gas station's on fire!" she yelled.


Same story, to the point. ;)"

Oh bollacks.

And I'll say more on that when I've got time and not trying to fit the stuff I brought back into the suitcase.

I swear things expand during a holiday.

Shut up at the back, there.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Rob wrote: "I keep on thinking about swimming costumes ..."

Mankinis?

[Rosemary (grooving with the Picts)]

*boak*

[D.D. Chant]

Patti (baconater) wrote: "Tim wrote: "Mary rushed into the diner, all out of breath. "The gas station's on fire!" she yelled.


Same story, to the point. ;)"

Oh bollacks.

And I'll say more on that when I've got time and n..."

You need to read this, Patti, it's a very in-depth commentary on that very problem.

Around the World with Phineas Frog

[Jim]

Kath wrote: "But true?"

Well I started reading one of his books and just walked away from it because I just couldn't bring myself to care :-(

[Kath]

Well there you go, then!

[John]

Rosen, I'll be downloading this when it's complete - sounds very funny!

[Rosen]

I've received a fair few author contributions so far - thank you!

[Rosen]

I could regret this (because I've only just got on top of the submissions so far) but there are more guest author opportunities up for grabs.

Would you like to write additional bonus material for the How Not to Self-Publish blog?

There are a fair few examples on the blog now, including this one by Katie:
http://www.how-not-to-self-publish.co...